query for homeschoolers out there....

[LilTreacle]

Did you exhaust all options, move schools many times, try special school or did you just 'know' homeschooling was the only real answer?

we have tried moving from the ms school that just did not have a clue, to one that is much more well resourced for SEN, but still struggling with major anxiety to the point where ds is basically working with and playing with a lone adult all the time for his own and everyone else's safety and sanity. HE seems worse now than before and he has double the hours of support with experienced TAs.

.Now it might just be these very festive few weeks have tipped him over the edge and things will settle in the new term, but if not we are questioning whether to persevere with ms, accept the suggested special school approach or just nurture and support from home. Another move which would involve a long journey each way for special school, disruption, transition issues etc. Seems a big ask for a 6 year old to take.

would be glad to know your experiences.

Still waiting after a term for an EP and the new LA to sort stuff out in a new area. Not willing to try mainstream yet again as DS burned his way through 3 in the old area, at a bit of a stand off as I'd rather teach him at home than set him up to fail yet again to prove the same ol' point to the new LA.

Hoping for a specialist placement eventually if that makes sense, just not at the cost of DS's emotional wellbeing. At home he's learning to read at 9, happy, making friends etc, etc.

Thank you for your insights. The thought of keeping trying with any school if whats its like for ds now is how its going to be is a no brainer. There is no doubt the multiple demands of school coupled with the sensory overload is making ds life impossible and we can see his spark disappearing.

he loves school, is not a refuser, he doesnt know what to do to make it better for himself in that way, so just gets overwhelmed confused and angry....

ss for BESD or ASD, will better with smaller classes, structured playtimes, strategies for meltdowns and therapists on hand...all sounds great...... but heartbreaking that ds has gotten so anxious that its something we are being asked to consider. And he would be able to mix with his peers more, but I suppose rhe challenge is getting him into such a place when there are fewer places than children in need of them.
I think if things do not improve in the new term and its a matter of waiting for a place to come available it would be better from a sefl esteem and learning point of view to be at home. While he is stressed to the max his ability to learn is impaired, and he can be taught by a lone adult at home but still have the energy to take part in extra carricular activities, jojn some clubs and have fun with other children without being at the edge of coping of wrung out after a school day.

We moved schools from a regular 'outstanding' mainstream with little SEN knowledge to one with autism provision that we thought would be more able to meet his needs. It wasn't and he had far less support (none, in fact) than we'd been led to believe and although he seemed to settle ok to begin with, towards the end (he was there just over a year) he deteriorated so rapidly that we felt we had to act urgently to get him out of there for the sake of his mental wellbeing. In fact, this was partly on the advice of his GP who could see the harm being done to him.

I don't believe we had any other options but to home educate because to look straight away for another school would have meant ds wouldn't have the opportunity to recover from the trauma he suffered at the second school and he was heading for another failure if we took that route. In fact, it took almost a year before he was settled enough to be able to learn and to mix with other children safely. Similarly, when he'd moved from the first school to the second he was enthusiastic and positive as he knew the old one wasn't supportive and he was full of hope for the new one. He didn't feel that way when he left the second school and I knew he would be apprehensive about any school in the future.

Additionally, there were no other primary schools in the area that came close to meeting his needs. He didn't have a statement so special school was out of the question. There were no other practical options available to us at that time.

I think it's important to weigh up the cumulative harm that can be done from switching schools - lots of resettling, lots of change and in my son's case a loss of faith in teachers being there to support children. By the end he didn't feel that anyone cared enough about him to give him what he needed, and he was right.

We've home educated now for five years and ds is thriving. In many ways I'm glad our hands were forced as I don't think he'd be where he is now if he'd stayed in the school system. For some children it's always going to be an inadequate environment and sometimes you just have to cut your losses and get out of it. You're absolutely right that a stressed child will find it much harder to learn, both academically and socially, and removing that degree of stress has certainly been a key factor in my son's development.