Advice needed - ds has problems lining up at school what should I do?

[tacal]

Hiya,

My ds (5 years old & HFA dx) is at ms school. He is generally happy in the mornings until the point where he has to line up. There are 3 classes which line up next to each other and sometimes it feels like it takes a very long time for ds' line to go in. Sometimes if his anxiety increases while in the line he will get to the door and refuse to go in. He will run back to me and it is a long process to get him in.

Taking a toy from home has helped. Sometimes getting the toy out his bag to cuddle is enough to get him in. Sometimes it does not help. Does anyone have any suggestions that may help my ds? Should I be asking the school to support ds in some way? I did ask and they said they will do a social story with him. I am not sure a social story will help but am willing to try. I would like the lining up to be more predictable for ds but I dont think there is anyway of making it the same every day.

Any advice would be very much appreciated.

Thank you x

Can you ask school if he can arrive either early or late and go directly to the classroom for a calmer start to the day. We do this for ds2 & school were happy for us to do so. We also pick him up early again so he can avoid the crowds at the end of the day.

Hi OneInEight , thank you for your reply. I was wondering if other schools are happy to let dc's arrive and leave at slightly different times to avoid the crowds. I think I may suggest it.

Hi PolterGoose , thank you for your reply. It could be that me being there adds to the anxiety for ds. It is very important to him that I am there to wave good bye as he goes in the door. If I could hand him to a t/a who would take him in without him having to wait in line that could work. School keep telling me not to worry. As long as ds goes into school they dont want to change things

When ds was little he used to go to sensory circuits at school for 15 minutes before school started. It made all the difference as we could say goodbye at his pace rather than because a whistle had blown. I used to leave when he was ready and he went straight from circuits to class. I would definitely discuss an early arrival with the school.

thank you shoppingbagsundereyes . Sensory circuits sounds like a great thing. Was it a ms school?

Dd3 enters the school after everyone else and leaves from the front door which means she misses the mad rush to the playground.

Schools need to make reasonable adjustments to ensure that inclusion can work. Please push them to take this on board and you Ds will stand more chance of coping in mainstream school.

Good luck

Yes a small village primary. He doesn't go there any more as the sensory circuits was about the only thing they offered to help with his SEN. But it was really useful. Helped lots with his balance and coordination too. It used to take about 10 minutes each morning and made him feel so much better before school because of the calm separation from me followed by bouncing, stretching, balancing etc.
Worth asking the school if they do it. Lots do.

thank you shoppingbagsundereyes. It sounds like the perfect thing for ds. I will ask the school about it.

Hi Ineedmorepatience thank you for the advice. I will be having a meeting with the school about this next week. I have a feeling they do not want to make the reasonable adjustment of letting ds do something different to the others in the morning. They do not see ds being anxious in school so they think the longer he lines up the more likely he is to get used to it and not be anxious. I have explained to them that this is not the case. I will find out next week if they are willing to listen to my views or not. Thanks again.