dd is 4 and is having some right old screaming tantrums, to rival ds's autistic ones and they actually go on for longer. To be fair to her ds does often get his own way as he often can't help it.
Anyway today ds1 goes to his holiday club for 3 hours and I let dd help me make his birthday cake for tomorrow (he will be 7). I tell her not to tell ds and its a surprise (big mistake) as she tells him and of course he also wants to make a cake. I say we can make fairy cakes so we start doing it and dd says she wants to do it as well. ds adamently refuses to let her help. dd starts screaming. I let her put a tiny bit of icing on the cake and ds throws a huge wobbly and starts screaming and now they are both screaming together!
I can't win - I can't let them do things separately because they are now able to tell each other about it and I can't let them do things together. I wonder if its worth doing the bloody baking in the first place but they enjoy it and learn from it.
By the way the reason I didn't let ds do his own cake in the first place is because he'd just want to eat it immediately and then we'd have to make another one tomorrow and I want to enjoy the day not be baking yet again.
Sorry rant over, just wondered how other people cope with their NT kids. I get so when people go on about how well their kids play together.