Dyspraxia advice please

[NynaevesSister]

Are there groups or threads on MN for this? Just had a diagnosis for son who is 8 and just looking for help/advice.

Hi,I hope you don't mind me posting but my son is 7 and has also just been diagnosed with Dyspraxia.Sometimes it's nice to "swap" stories?

This is an old thread but it has a few useful links in it - a good starting point. If you use Advanced Search you'll find hundreds of threads about Dyspraxia - it's top right on my laptop, and it's on the phone app as well.

Two of my DSs are Dyspraxic (one Verbal Dyspraxia) - both doing really well now. Is there anything specific you'd like to know about?

Hi Hassled,my big issues with Ds are around demand avoidance (I have to constantly remind him to do basic things like,go to the toilet,brush his teeth,drink,eat) thankfully he sleeps like a log.It's so draining.He will not even attempt to do some of the exercises that have been recommended by school and OT.He has extremely low self esteem and keeps talking about killing himself.(He also has a social communication disorder and we a re waiting referral for Aspergers).It's so upsetting but I just don't know what to do.
He is at a private school which is big on pastoral care.He is very happy there but now in Juniors he is struggling hugely with his peers.Academically he seems to be holding his own,gets the same work as the rest of the class.
We have alot of problems with anger,aggression.I'm told that is typical with Dyspraxic children,have you found that to be the case?My big worry is that I can't get him to do anything liek swimming,karate-he's just not interested.Do I force him?

Sorry for the big long ranty post,as you can see I'm at the end of my tether.

Blimey - you have a lot going on. You say the pastoral care is good at school - but what about actual Special Educational support? Are they helping with things like handwriting etc?

And the demand avoidance - you're careful not to overload him with instructions? So never "get your shoes then find your coat"; just one thing at a time.

I've never really had the anger issues - yes to lack of self-esteem but the diagnosis really helped with that. Just having the label was great - DS2 could see that none of the difficulties he had were his "fault". He'd been quite disruptive in school before that - afterwards it was just "this is what I have and I can't help it" - his attitude changed for the better. Do you talk to him much about his diagnosis? This is a good book for kids.

I don't think you should force him to do the sort of activities which use the gross motor skills he'll struggle with, but if you can find something, anything, which he is good at that will help, I think. What does he like? Is there any obvious club/group which could come out of that?

Good luck!

Hassled,I was so relieved to see someone had replied I felt like crying!
I do try very hard with the instructions,I need to try harder!
Re school,he gets support with writing,gross/fine motor skills and social stuff like social stories and starting conversations and such like.
He seems to cope ok at school but we have alot of problems at home.He soils himeslf most days but jusst can't get the hang of cleaning himself so I end up doing it which I know prob isn't the right thing to do.
He is very bright (so I'm told),has an "exceptional reading ability according to the ed psych.
He is not disruptive at school but concentration is an issue esp if he's tired.
He does Beavers which he loves.I find this extrordinary given his difficulties socially but we encourage it.He knows he has dyspraxia,I told him because of the self esteem issues.It has helped but we're still getting the "I'm going to kill myself" which is so worrying.
He has many Aspergers traits but we are waiting for a referrral to Specialist centre.

Thanks so much for your advice,please keep it coming.

We've known that son has problems with core strength and motor skills for a while. Recommended through a friend, I started him at trampolining club at our local sports centre. The exercises they do are also the same ones the OT has recommended. Getting him to do the exercises at home is next to impossible. This is a fab 'cheat' that works for him as he loves trampolining.

For balance exercises I have got him a two wheel scooter. We take this to school and to start with it was mostly me just pulling him. The mere fact of having to stay upright on it was enough. I know I got some strange looks but hey ho! Now he can scoot along on his own. This has been a great boost for him.

We've been seeing ed psych and OT since he was in reception. It hasn't been easy to figure out what was going on. This feels like him though, it explains so much. Am grateful the school hasn't just waited for a diagnosis but has been putting in place a lot of intervention.

Now though I need to know how to help him deal with the emotions especially the anger. And the constant refusal to go to school.

Having the diagnosis will help a lot there. He just wasn't understanding why he was being told off. And also it helps understand the crazy he has inside, which is how he has described it for years.

Bump in the hope that someone with more experience of the anger and aggression issues comes along.