WARNING: bad day rant...

[Boobybeau]

Im fed up of the dribble, poo, chewing of everything, licking of everything the screeching, the stares from strangers, friends trying to say the right thing but getting it SO wrong, friends moaning about their perfect lives, the never ending mess everywhere, greasy hand prints all over our tv as ds thinks it looks like an iPad and treats it as such, not being able to go anywhere without another adult for reinforcement anymore, not having any time for anything as ds only does half days at school and dc2 doesn't sleep, professionals who have no idea giving me 'advice', carrying and lifting a child who is way to heavy to be carried and lifted, trying to de code why ds it having a melt down this time, having crappy hair- i used to have beautiful hair now im lucky if its clean, looking frazzled- i used to wear nice make up but now i cant work i have no money for such luxuries, never having any quality time with dh- we just seem to bicker all the time now, my lovely friend whos dc has dyslexia comparing his difficulties to my ds's- i know it much be hard for her and her dc but really they are on a whole other level and its starting to piss me off. And Im just fed up of staying strong all the bloody time and acting like all this is ok. I just put mr tumble on for the dc and shut myself in the loo and had a big cry (again) sigh, this isn't the life I had planned.

Anyone else fed up of their lot of just me being a miserable cow? I know it could be worse but it could be a lot better!

I'm sorry it feels so shit today. How old is DS? It is relentless and it sounds like it is particularly for you.

Is there anyone that can manage DS whilst you take a break?

Do you have any nice plans for the weekend?

Thank you. Ds is 4 1/2 and is gorgeous but sometimes the smallest thing tips me over the edge. today it was the constant stream of dribble that makes everything soaking wet and gross. In the evenings when DH comes in a sometimes go out but it would be nice to do something together. We don't really have any family who can help out so just gets a bit much some times. It's just a bad day and I'm feeling particularly grumpy today, ive had a few friends crying on my sholder about their 'problems' and i think thats cheesed me off to. That makes me siund like a tital bitch but i akways seem to be the one everyone coned to with their problems! The weekends here now so hopefully that will cheer me up, I just needed to rant

I'm also having a bad day
Hugs op, sometimes i feel like i'm banging my head against the wall and no-one understands x

Honk honk honk

pumpkinsweetie sorry your having a bad day to, go on have a rant about it, its quite therapeutic!
Thanks everyone, you know what it's like, I just like someone else agreeing that it is a bit shit really. My mums terrible when I talk to her, she goes all gooey and starts trying to give me advice. I no she means well but she has no idea and then starts trying to compare her cooking the odd meal for her earlerly father an doing his washing to raising a child with a disability, as if somehow me hearing her problems will help me with mine?! I'm not a grumpy person really, honest!

Same here booby my dm does similar, compares my dd (asd suspected) to me growing up and how i was naughty when it simply isn't the same or comparable.
She means well & does help on most occasions but when she says the above i just cannot listen as meltdowns and tantrums are not the same!

Made a mistake and ranted on aibu, not good, although one mnetter sent me a lovely message x

Oh honk honk booby, you know lots of us know those days, and the feeling of oh god this is not what I imagined my life would be like at this stage.

I have been fine lately but there is always something that gets you: today I had a call from a lovely private school that I put DS's name down for when he was born, when I still thought that would be the path...the message said would you still be wanting your son to do the entrance exam for our school next year. Oh dear, if only. The idea of him doing an exam...!

Remember we are all here, and understand...

Oh pumpkin aibu is volatile! Not many make it out alive, hope your ok?

thedudesmummy that phone call must have been hard, like you said, most of the time im fine but then I'll think of things that I thought we'd be doing and it gets me down. Ds started school this sept and is very lucky to be going to a great SN school but I had to watch all my mummy friends doing the typical first day at school stuff that I thought we'd be doing and it did hurt. There's a group of us that had our dc2's at around the same time and it's been very painful to watch all their older children build relationships with their baby brother/sister. They all walk nicely along side the pram and pass the sips etc... My ds is still in nappies himself and my dc2 is starting to over take her big bro now.

Hi booby I find the people trying to sympathize the hardest to bear when they make out some spurious similarity betweenbout situations and all I van think is ' you have no idea'. I don't understand why so few people get it really - they don't help they sympathize AMD go on about themselves and afterwards all I think is how does that help me, I can see how it makes them feel better but it doesn't help me.
All I can think of to help is considering respite - childcare you don't pay for that just happens regularly - we have just applied and the process of doing it jusr made me realize how badly we just need time off.

Thank you everyone.

poltergoose I think we get what we're entitled to but the support round here it is next to nothing so it's been a struggle finding out tbh. We only started claiming DLA last year and that was because another parent in a waiting room told us we should be claiming it. Not one of the 12 therapists and drs ds sees thought it was necessary to mention this to us. Anything I have found out has usually been from other parents. Because DH works and we own our property, other then careers allowance (which isn't even 1/2 what I used to earn) there's nothing else were entitled to as far as I'm aware? Don't get me wrong, I don't begrudge being there for my children one bit, I wouldnt have it any other way really but I went to Uni and i used to be quite glamorous but i can no longer afford trips to the hairdresses and alike and i feel I have more to offer then to just drive ds to and from appointments and where i then get talked down to by the professionals as they make assumptions about my intellect and parenting style. I barely have an adult conversation (or any conversation tbh as neither dc talk so it's mainly just me talking) until DH gets home from work and ive always been a really social person so I find this hard as well. I don't think my Uni friends would recognise me now! Non of my friends really understand why it's so difficult for us to get out, I think they just think I've become a bore. And don't get me started on weddings, we had one a few months ago and we had to leave early because of childcare. Dc were invited and no one understood why we didn't just bring them along

Booby I completely empathise my dd2 is 4 and at a sp sch and it's the Facebook pics that get me .l love did dearly but seeing other children reminds me how behind she is

Thanks poltergoose I never thought of us qualifying for direct payments but you are the second person today who has mentioned them to me, no ones brought it up with us before so I don't really know much about them tbh. Im not sure how ds would get on at restpite, I would worry about him so much that I don't think it would actually do me any good! I don't think we're there just yet but maybe in a few years we will need it and ds may be able to cope then.

I was talking to my mum earlier who was telling me about a friend of a friend who has just put their adult dd into a permanent home as her needs were getting too much and her siblings were suffering yarda yarda yarda... Not really what I want to hear, thanks mum. Why would she think I want to hear that?! Im trying to live in the now and i can't think about the future too much or I'll go mad!

Was thinking about this because it's become a lot better for me and realise that now I just ask how is that similar? The real friends stop short and either immediately or after some thinking go it's not similar and we have had some conversations. People who can't get over it I just sort of drop. I'm trying to get better at letting people help - take up offers of childcare, cleaning etc. Think up concrete things I can ask people ti do

The best conversation that I remember was with a friend about the transition from 1-2 children. She actually said to me 'your lucky that your ds1 is so chilled out and easy, unlike my dc'

Thanks everyone for your kindness, I've been having more down days resently then usual, not sure if it's hormonal or things are getting on top of me. How do you all manage to stay positive and shake off the crap? My dc have so much to give I love them with all my heart and I want to savour every moment, I don't want my memories of there childhood masked with my thoughts of 'what ifs' bringing me down.

Very true greener shame such support doesn't excist in RL!

Strange you should say that Booby as i spoke to the school about my dd behaviour on entrance to YR1 and i said she wasn't coping well with transistion from Reception and the answer i got was "oh well neither have the rest of the class"- Helpful not and hardly a comparision between others and those with sn!