Am I overreacting?

[Perchkin]

My DS age 5 has ASD, SPD and possibly ADHD. He is however incredibly bright and way ahead of his peers intellectually.

There have been a number of issues this year at school and my DS has become so anxious that he stopped eating at the end of last half of term and this half of term developed a bladder problem (constantly needing to go to the toilet). I have felt unhappy about the lack of communication from the school, the failure to implement his OT sensory diet etc. I feel I have to constantly police what has gone on in the day and remind them of what they should be doing on a regular basis.

Having had meetings with the head teacher, the SENCO and his class teachers on numerous occasions it had got to the point where I was going to put my concerns in writing - but had put off doing so in the hope that things would improve and I also didn't want to end up with a bad relationship between me and the school.

However today my DS told me "Miss x hurts me when she is angry”. I questioned him some more and it would appear that he is being physically manhandled when he gets upset/has a melt down. DS tells me that he is physically put outside the room or physically picked up and moved to somewhere else in the room (of the teachers choosing) when he gets upset or has a melt down. Today it was because he got upset about a book he had brought in from home to share with the class - “I wanted to read the book I had brought to the class, but Miss x read it instead”. To physically restrain and manhandle my DS over such an incident seems way out of proportion.

I am utterly furious and have written a letter of complaint demanding an explanation. Am I overreacting here?
I am so upset for my DS :(

Not overreacting.

When DS is in meltdown or near to, he cannot be touched. It scares him and physically hurts him to be touched when he's in that state.

School need telling.

Yes my DS is sensory defensive too so I doubt very much that they are using so much force as to hurt him.
However this is having a huge effect on his self esteem and I can see absolutely no reason why a child who is protesting that he wants to read a story ends up physically removed from the room. All they need to do is talk to him about it.........or even, heavens forbid, let him read the story to the class as he wanted too??

He has an EP, OT and SALT involved. However I am failing to see any of their suggestions being implemented. His current class teachers just don't seem to "get him" and I think see him as a problem rather than the cute, funny, and very very clever little boy (with issues) that he is.

The school has a Senco who I feel is not monitoring the situation. I am only finding out about things by quizzing my son (or his classmates) daily as to whether he has done his OT exercises etc that day.

When DS is in meltdown or near to, he cannot be touched. It scares him and physically hurts him to be touched when he's in that state

Ditto Holycow :(.

It is extremely rare that he ever needs to be removed from a situation because things have got out of hand (I think I last had to do this about 2 years ago). I am utterly mortified that this has been going on in school this term. If he is causing a scene (and in the case he told me about today it could easily have been dealt with without a scene) than all you have to do is tell him to go somewhere else to make the fuss and he will comply :(.

No wonder he is so very anxious about school.

Thank you Polter.
He is at a private school. Does this make a difference?

I have made the EP and SALT aware. Unfortunately his OT is away until January. I was thinking of arranging a meeting for all professionals, SENCO, class teachers and myself next term.

Right now I can't see away forward short of changing schools.

Thank you Polter I didn't know about them. You are all a mine of such useful information on this board :).