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Your Aspie girl dealing with the Queen Bee in school.

3 replies

IslaValargeone · 03/12/2013 18:30

My dd is in year 7 of a mainstream school, she is not officially diagnosed with Aspergers but ticks all the boxes and it is something we are dealing with.
She has been HE'd through the last 4 years of primary, but has made a pretty smooth transition to high school, far better in fact than we had anticipated.
She is however struggling with one particular girl in her class who everybody seems to adore. My dd thinks she is very rude and rather a 'diva' so I don't think she treats her with quite the reverence this girl is used to. By this, I don't mean she is rude, she just doesn't get why this girl is popular. (Apparantly she is like Mackenzie from The Dork Diaries?) As a result this girl often turns on the tears and has her entourage freezing out my dd.
I have told her just to give her a wide berth, but because my dd is so bloody naive, she can't understand why this girl doesn't like her. She said to me, "I'm kind, so why doesn't she like me?" It's almost like it has become a challenge?
Is this normal? Am I overthinking things? My dd is quirky enough as it is, I don't want her to become even more isolated.

OP posts:
Ineedmorepatience · 03/12/2013 20:27

It is difficult even for NT girls when one or two girls think they are the queen bees. Dd2 who is NT but quirky used to call them the IT girls!

I think Dd3 Asd yr 6 currently will not understand nastiness Sad

Dd1 who is an undiagnosed Aspie survived secondary by making a couple of really nice friends, one of whom was a hard as nails and protected Dd1 from the IT girls!!

Dd1 was musical and sporty so was lucky to be able to get involved in plenty of acitivities. Dd3 is musical too so I will be encouraging her to join all the bands and choirs. There is also a safe haven at the secondary where she will be able to go if she needs to.

Dd2 survived it by surrounding herself with a big group of not quite IT girls and they looked out for each other.

I am sorry if this sounds harsh but watch your Dd very carefully for signs of bullying and jump in quick to get it sorted if it does happen.

Good luck Smile

Stressedtothehilt · 04/12/2013 09:02

Urghhh my dd1 has always had friendship issues. It drives me nuts. She's year 5 now and I'm dreading high school. She's Very sporty too so has opportunity to meet different people but it always seems to go wrong for various reasons! She has ADHD. I did buy a book on dealing with friendship issues which was really good. But other than that no suggestions really other than to talk to teachers and maybe ask for a change of class?

zzzzz · 04/12/2013 11:11

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