More help/handholding please

[DinkyMole]

I posted last week about my son, 9yrs, just diagnosed with ASD.

He's been excluded again. This is twice in two weeks, and one narrowly averted.

The behavioural specialist went in, asked him to come out of class to talk, he did so. When she said about the last exclusion he said "Why don't you ask everybody else", they know" and went back in the classroom. The story gets fuzzy at this part - DS says he ran round the classroom "to calm down" and he kicked a bin. Obviously this is unacceptable. He has a "safe place" but the behavioural specialist had shut the classroom door so he couldn't get out to it. Then she went and got the headmaster, DS calms down enough to continue "teaching" the class (he teacher asked him to do this), then the headmaster comes back with the behavioural specialist and pulls him (literally) out of the classroom. Headmaster says he was asked first, DS says he just came in and took him out of the room.

They drag him across the school to headmasters office, where he's exploding and shouting and throwing, kicking things, tipping up a chair and waving a plastic pole around.

I arrive, DS is shouting I need to get out I need to get out. I've never seen him this terrified in my life. I try and calm him, no success. He escapes, I chase him to his classroom where he's hidden behind the bin and start to calm him. He settles, still crying. His TA helps, is calm and soothes him.

Headmaster walks in, DS scared again starts shouting "get out get out", I try and calm him and ask the headmaster to leave us to it. DS still scared saying headmaster can't come in, TA says she'll go and ask headmaster to leave us a while. Two minutes later (if that) headmaster comes in, son explodes again and headmaster is saying things like "if you keep doing this you'll have to go to a different school"

I said please can you leave us and he refused, so I said I'll have to take him home then as I can't calm him with you in here. Headmaster says "if you take him, he'll be excluded for two days". For what, I ask - "err, well, he threatened me".

I just take him out.

Now headmaster and behavioural specialist are saying that they had already decided to exclude him. This had not been mentioned. Exclusion was IF I removed him from the site. Apparently son has hit the behavioral specialist. He says he did not "hit", he "pushed and pulled" to get them out of the way of the door.

Behavioural specialist says this is definitely an exclusion, that this isn't his ASD and that even a special school wouldn't tolerate this behaviour.

I don't understand how it's got this bad again. I don't understand why they wouldn't just leave him to go to his calm down place and then come back when he's calmed down.

Headmaster is adamant that DS must conform like every other child. I have explained to DS where he has been naughty and he agrees it was wrong.

I don't know what to do. Our county doesn't have statements although SENCO is looking in to EHP(?). CAMHS referred to but not yet involved. Ed Psych not available as school are funding behavioural specialist instead (we can't have both).

School are clearly hell bent on expelling him and I'm sat here feeling like I cannot put my son in that position again.

Most of the time this type of scenario happens because the child's needs at school are not being met by school.

They could well be treading on shaky ground here in a legal sense re the exclusion.

Have a look at this link re exclusions:-
www.ipsea.org.uk/Apps/Content/html/?fid=52

Statements are still around and are still being issued; certainly do not wait any longer. I would apply for such a document now and personally to the LEA, again use the template letter on IPSEA's website www.ipsea.org.uk to help you. This should also trigger EP involvement.

I would also contact IPSEA as well.

If you are in England your county do have Statements!

You can apply for one today.

Have tried calling IPSEA but can't get hold of them and can't see how to book a call online.

Have downloaded the Explosive Child and have been reading that. Printed off the excerpt from Lost at School and given that to SENCO.

It feels like one more episode next week and he'll be expelled, after having the best start to the year he's ever had.

The SENCO said they're being phased out and they've never been the same as the rest of England in this county (Nottm) but either way she's working on it.

I just don't see how he gets excluded when the school are handling it so badly. All he needs is a space to go and calm down when he's getting upset/angry and they keep failing this one bit.

I'm honestly beginning to wonder if I'm one of "those" mothers

Here is the template letter Attila is referring to.

I'll copy it below:

"

Dear Sir or Madam,

(child’s name) (date of birth)

Request for formal assessment

I am writing as the parent of the above child to request an assessment of his special educational needs under the 1996 Education Act.

(child’s name) attends ..................... school.

I believe that (child’s name)'s special educational needs are as follows:

 

 

My reasons for believing that the school cannot on their own make the provision required to meet my child’s needs are:

 

 

 

I understand that you are required by law to reply to this request within six weeks and that if you refuse I will be able to appeal to the Special Educational Needs Tribunal.

Yours sincerely,"

You can use that, then send it to the Chief Education Officer/Director of Education at your LA.

Dinky you've got to stop believing that rubbish. Seriously 'never been the same as the rest of England.'!!!! They may never have followed the law as closely as some other LAs, but they can't exempt themselves from it.

DS's dad wrote to the LA about a statement. They didn't reply to him they sent information to the school saying that they would have to apply for an EHC plan instead as that's what they do now. We are a pilot area for this. This is in motion already but the school are still determined to exclude on a weekly basis.

So sorry this has happened. I can only guess how you and ds feel (although a veteran of similar exclusions from panicked behaviour set off by adult catalysts that should have known when to back off). Its good that you have written down what has happened. My son can behave and look terrified when trapped or dragged/pushed in similar circumstances and can hurt people in his panic if they are unwise enough to precipitate his panic. He needs to left untouched to become calm and feel safe again.

I wonder if a brief document ( passport) would help. Start with the important positives about your sons likes. then something along the lines of, 'If I get distressed- I need to be left quietly ( or whatever helps) I do not like to be touched, pushed or pulled.
Try to get through to Ipsea's exclusion line. I am not much good with advice but it is clear that the HT and behaviour specialist could do with (how do I put this politely) some support in understanding ASD. Of course some behaviour is unacceptable, but it sounds as if things only went pear shaped once physical force was used by the adults.

The LAW of a nation applies to the whole nation, not just those who pick and choose whether or not to follow it ffs!

Use the IPSEA website to apply for a statement - the exclusions are all the evidence you need to get one. The exclusions basically means that school are demonstrating they lack the resources to cope with your child - mention these in your letter as the LA WILL take them seriously if nothing else. (exclusions spoil their stats lol!)

Also book a phone appointment with IPSEA with illegal exclusions - they are brilliant as I discovered from personal experience when my son was 5/6.

If your child doesn't have a diagnosis then take a trip to the GP to ask for an appointment with a developmental pead, & an OT explaining what's happened at school. This may or may not lead anywhere but you need to know if your child does have any underlying issues causing this behavior and this is the first step to finding out.

If your child does have a diagnosis then don't be scared to ask if the behavioral specialist has any expertise in that specific disability. 123 magic is a waste of time for a kid with ASD/sensory issues like mine, whereas other strategies have been extremely effective. You need to be sure that the behavioral specialist is the RIGHT expert to help the school. To me it sounds as if the school aren't funding the correct expert but rather the one who will sign off on their own agenda. Why haven't they called in an Ed Pysch? I'd be asking too see the behavioral specialist's qualifications (eg a masters degree in Autism at a minimum!).

I'm concerned that you said "they drag him"- does he have sensory issues? did the person who held him have appropriate restraint training? I'd want answers from the school about this as physical restraint for a child with sensory issues could be considered a form of torture.

Thank you. We asked for a passport last time and they said there was no need as they have "static staff" who all know DS and when new staff come in they are briefed on his needs. Behavioural specialist clearly wasn't part of this. I need to insist on this.

Meeting with them on Friday. I am dreading it because I think it was appalling the way they acted and I know they'll sit there all smug like they did nothing wrong. This is the same head that suggested Ritalin last week.

Will keep trying IPSEA. Thanks again.

Add in a paragraph to that letter saying that you want to apply for a Statutory Assessment and that you are aware that they are an EHCP pathfinder but you want to be assessed under current criteria.

Bochead - the behavioural specialist was pretty keen to tell my partner (who came with me to school) that the restraint had been the "approved method". But yes, he cannot stand being touched. He will often say "you're hurting me" even when you're barely touching him (something headteacher loves to point out). Haven't had clear explanation on why he needed to be restrained (apart from "being a nuisance"). Also can't understand trapping him in an office with the two people who had set off the episode. That's what made it so much worse - he needs to "get out". Partly my fault, I've always taught him to get away from anything/anyone he might hurt. He knows to go somewhere safe and just calm down alone and then come back.

Ritalin is not for ASD, even if it were that's for you and a medic to decide not him

Print him off an ASD factsheet from the NAS and mention disability discrimination.

www.ipsea.org.uk/How-we-can-help/Advice-Line.aspx

The above is the link to IPSEA's call back service.

Thought it was Notts who were treating you so abysmally; they are not known as a LEA for playing by the rules of this nation. And they can still issue statements; they are not above the law here at all.

Re the behaviour specialist I think this person has already displayed his/her credentials.

Surely if the dc has a designated quiet space and was prevented from accessing the only people at fault are the school?

Dinky I really feel for you. I hope IPSEA can give you the help you need.

Also try SOSSEN? (legal advice I believe)