DS never tells me about school. Transpires been beaten up...unusual reaction?

[mrsbaffled]

My Ds1(9, borderline AS) has never been forthcoming about what goes on at school.
Today I had a phone call after school from his best friend's mum, informing me that DS was involved in an incident at lunch time today. It really upset the girl watching and DS and the girl reported it to a teacher (which is good).

However, once I found out about it and confronted DS he seemed really vague about it. Firstly not knowing what I was talking about, then being hazy on the details. It is like it didn't phase him at all. I don't think he was hiding it from me, or lying about it in any way. He genuinely has no idea why it happened, then forgot about it.
I am worried as he seemed so matter of fact about it. Either because he doesn't realise he has been wronged, or because it is a 'normal' thing for him, ie a regular occurrence. He says not, though. (This is the second incident I know of....the first was far worse and I made a lot of noise about it. I am more concerned about DS's reaction, or lack of it, than the fact the incident occurred)

Is this an AS sort of thing?

Yes, I think so. I have to trick ds into telling me things. He hates non-truths more than anything so I tell him that I think a specific thing happened at school and I get a correction (if it is important to him).

DS is notoriously bad at reporting though. When he does, instigated by him, it is reliable. If I ask questions, I get replies designed to end the conversation as quickly as possible, almost like whatever it is he has to say to make me go away and so it isn't reliable at all and often contradictory.

It's more that he doesn't want to talk about it.

Language is difficult for him. Very difficult. I sometimes wonder that getting into a scrap at school isn't the peak of his misery but the dissecting of it afterwards by insistent adults. Still, he has to practice because how else will he learn to navigate his way out of a police cell he has found himself in accidently.

My DS can be rather like this - he compartmentalises and because it was unpleasant and stressful I think he 'puts it away'. THere was an incident where a group of older kids were mimicking and laughing at my DS, he was very upset and his friends took him to see the headteacher who sorted it all out. First I knew was that one of his friend's mums called to ask if DS was OK. He hadn't said anything and once I asked about it he was very vague, said he didn't want to talk about it, etc etc. He absolutely hates 'being grilled' about anything that has happened in one of his life 'spaces' when he is in a different one. It's like what happens in school, stays in school. My DS is Aspie.