Choosing a primary school for DS - confused!

[Ahhhcantthinkofagoodname]

Hi everyone, another post from me as we try to work out what will happen to DS, who will be 4 in the summer, when he starts school in sept next year. He has severe verbal dysprqxia and mild ASD and plan A is that he goes to a mainstream school with speech and language unit. Plan B is he gets a statement and goes to one of the 3 local primary schools (when we choose which one we think is best for him), Plan C is no statement and most likely we will be assigned to the one on our doorstep (but may possibly just sneak into one of the other ones if we put them above our nearest one on the forms).

So we are trying to work out which of the 3 local ones will be best. The default one is on our doorstep. Pluses are amazing SENCO and staff and great facilities, but they apparently have some behavioural problems and the reception intake is two classes of 30 which all seem to mingle together, ie 60 4 year olds running around, a bit mental really! Thn there are the two churchy ones which have amazing reputations and outstanding ofsteds and are much more "middle class". We are nit at all religious but really liked church school 1 as it is a small school and had a lovely feel to it. However DH has just returned from a meeting with the head and SENCO (we asked ot meet senco but head rocked up too). Bizarrely they spent 45 minutes trying to discourage him from choosing this school for DS. Said he would get very little support for his speech difficulties as the TAs are rushed off their feet trying to deal with the kids that have (undiagnosed) ASD. They said he would struggle at playtimes as they only have one staff member for 90 kids. All very confusing, what is going on here, ie what is their agenda? Do they not want kids with SENs cos of funding, or reputation? Or is it they don't like people playing the SEN card to get into the church school? Part of me thinks we should walk away now if that's their attitude to kids with SENs but I was really impressed when I went on the tour last week.

Any insight or advice would be much appreciated.

From my limited experience, I would say that a positive SENCO and head would outweigh the class size. At the end of the day you are looking for people who you can work with to get the best for your child. Outstanding schools can be very inflexible, and try to make things difficult for families who do not, for any reason, fit the norm. The church school were trying to warn you off, their attitude won't change if your child is given a place.

Thanks sunnymeg, I guess you confirmed what we thought. Isn't it rubbish and unfair though....

Yes it's unfair. It's all about results and these school view our/my child as a weed. They don't want her in their perfectly manicured gardens.

If you have not already applied for a statement I would make the application both personally and now. Use IPSEA's website as there are letters on there you can use www.ipsea.org.uk. He ideally should go into school with a Statement.

The ethos of the school is vitally important, you after all will need to be involved to a certain extent with these people.

I would avoid the church schools like the plague, they've already warned you off and their attitude will not change at all. They are generally also not that helpful when dealing with children with any SEN. Quite apart from that issue you are also not religious (a big minus point when it comes to such schools). I would walk away from the church schools now because the relationship really has already broken down.

Thanks both...
Yes we've already applied for SA, now 7 weeks later, still waiting to see if LA will proceed. Appeal has already gone in in response to their "no but we'll reassess when we have some more info (that it's our responsibility to get)" letter we received at the end of last week.
Big thank you to everyone here that has given help and advice...

We're in the same boat as you. Our first choice school is the one that is furthest away, great Inclusion Manager, enthusiastic and procactive and most of all reassuring that DS would be supported with or without a statement. (We are going to County Panel on 16/12 with our request for Statutory Assessment). The two schools that are closest to us are federated, so 1 Inclusion Manager for both schools and it took us 10 days to get any kind of response to our request for a meeting, 10 days of emailing and calling, 10 days of worrying ourselves sick. Eventually we got a curt email saying "thank you for your messages, I believe you have been informed that there is an Open Day on Thursday, I will be available to speak with you then".

Well, don't put yourself out, will you, love!!!

Good luck with your appeal. If it were me, I would go with whoever can reassure you the most that your child will be supported.

God how rude. Church school 1 were like that initially then pretended to be all helpful but actually were jut trying to help us make the decision not to choose them.

Church school 2 and our local school both had SENCOs who were happy to meet us at the end of the tour.

Yes I think you are right with your last comment, and taking attilas advice too, we should go with the school on the doorstep even though it doesn't seem to be as desirable as the church schools for most people.

Good luck with your SA application.