Advice on how to handle a meeting with the school

[hillian]

I've got my first ever meeting with a school's learning support department and I'd really value any advice about to handle it/ what to expect from it?

Some background:
DS1 is in year 7 and was privately diagnosed a year ago with dysgraphia and Auditory Processing Disorder. He's also exceptionally clever. So he has dual or multiple exceptionality (DME).

The outcome is that, for now, he still exceeds "national expectations" but not as well as he could do. He is also hypercritical of himself and sometimes gives himself a bit of a kicking for his shortcomings (which is very upsetting to see).

The secondary is outstanding, according to OFSTED, and according to reputation (and OFSTED) report, the learning support department is very good.

Some people have to me, that DS is doing so well that the school will not help him until he falls behind. Others have said to me that he has a disability that legally cannot be ignored.

The secondary school has recently tested him and tomorrow is about communicating the results to us (his parents).

I want to be told that they'll help him with his handwriting and getting his ideas down on paper, irrespective of his current levels of attainment. Am I setting my hopes too high?? What should I expect?

He was diagnosed late because the gap between what he seemed to verbally know and be able to work out and what he was putting down on paper only started to get really wide maybe two years ago. Then we thought it was just a blip, then we started to look into it, the dysgraphia was suspected, then it was confirmed etc, etc. Its now blatantly obvious.

I didn't share the report with the the primary school as he was in his last year and the SENCO was a bit of a dragon who would rather fight than tacitly accept that she'd missed something. So, I waited until he got to secondary school and I approached the learning support department direct.

anyone??

Sadly, when he is exceeding "national expectations", getting additional support or accommodations from the school may prove challenging.

The best thing I can suggest is that you go into the meeting with a clear thought of what ideal support for your DS would look like, and negotiate from that point. I doubt you'll get everything you want for him, but starting there, you'll at least know what the "perfect package" includes. Put emphasis on his mental and emotional well-being, as you say he is so critical of his own challenges.

Think about technological support, too - word prediction software, computer access, that sort of thing - as he ages, the demands that will be placed on him will only increase. One thing that will help to support your case is having him answer two questions on the same subject. The first, hand written, without assistance, and the second, typed, ideally with the supports you would like to see (there is a piece of software called Word Q that you can download and trial for 30 days for free).

Time his work, and present it to explain that the dysgraphia is a direct hindrance to his success, and see if they are receptive...

I wish you the best.

Thank you. I understand that there is a limited budget and resources have to be allocated as best they can, for the overall good.

Its just I was hoping that DS would get some handwriting support and maybe be taught to touch-type at school as he refuses at home (because he finds it difficult).

He is really clever - off the scale on some tests - but it just seems to contribute to his feelings of low self-esteem. Its as though he uses his analytical ability to construct arguments with which bully himself for his weaknesses.

I'm actually quite worried for him because the older he gets, the less he is willing to allow us to help pick him up when he's knocked himself down.

Depending on high school , may still be offered things like handwriting / computer if handwriting is unreadable , no matter how clever someone is . As teachers need to be able to read his work .
Senco is there for all children who require support not just those who are behind . A lot depends on the school , as struggling children will take priority , as limited resources .
I would discuss how your child is a bit of a perfectionist and , how they can help him deal with his feeling when things go wrong . As some school have councillors on staff for deal with all types of problems .
Write down what you like to ask , school support kids in lots of ways not just academically . If you don't ask you never going to know .

his handwriting is just about legible, as long as the reader is prepared to guess at the odd word here and there. I wouldn't like to have to read several pages of it though.

However, its if you ask him a question and here the difference in the verbal answer to the written one that you can see that his writing doesn't show anything if the breadth if his knowledge or his vocabulary. I really hope that the teacher has spotted that and is willing to help.

Feeling nervous about the meeting now ...!