I'm furious... need to calm down

[minionmadness]

Ds (ASD) is in YR1... He has 20 hrs of TA support. Both CT and TA are very experienced in their roles.

Since ds has started school we have had a very detailed home/school diary in place. Obviously some personal stuff in there, alongside very detailed reports of his anxieties. Basically a good read! For these reasons only CT and TA are authorised to see/write in this book when in classroom. this rule also applies to his literacy/maths books too.

Last night his diary didn't come home in book bag... I presumed it had been forgotten, so put a note in book bag. Imagine my horror when I arrive at classroom this morning and one of the mums come rushing over, gushing that said diary had been put in her dd's bag!

I am furious that a random mum (a very nosy one at that) has most definitely read this diary from start to finish and will undoubtedly divulge information to anyone who will listen given the chance.

I appreciate mistakes happen but I so furious that I feel like making a formal complaint so at least this doesn't happen again.

What would you do?

oh goodness I would be so angry as well. my son goes into a taxi each morning and there was some concern that he may read the diary - I bought a small bag which you put a plastic clip on so you can see if the bag has been tampered with - maybe that may be an idea so god forbid the bag/book goes into the wrong bag you would know if its been opened as the clip would have been removed.

The bag with a clip is a good idea. I would have been furious too.

I would make a formal complaint and ask them to put procedures in place to make sure this won't happen again.

Unfortunately, the damage in this case had already been done.

and on your behalf. I would be livid too.

Appreciate that it must be annoying but how can you make a formal complaint?
The child may have picked it up by mistake?
Sorry I don't quite get what you are worried about? Is it that you think the mother may use the information in a malicious way?

troutsprout - I'm concerned that a supposedly confidential diary ended up in some other child's book bag when there are rules in place as to who should have access to said diary. It is confidential and should be treated as such.

The child who ended up with it sits at the other side of the class to ds, so fail to see how she could have picked it up

I suppose I could be making too big a deal here... I just liken it to my personal diary being read by someone I only saw on a daily basis, but didn't really know. This woman knows more about my ds than she should because of someone's careless mistake.

I would be really upset by this too. Tbh it's one of the reasons I don't write too much in there, anything really personal I would say in person to CT or TA. On days ds isn't collected by or is going home to a friends house I don't send the book in.

I would be furious too. I can also see how it may have happened, my Ds often comes home with other kids belongings and vice versa. however they need to take more care with something so personal and make sure it doesn't happen again.

I totally understand why you are so angry and upset. Complain to the headteacher. I know schools/nurseries where home school diaries are treated v differently to normal stuff in school bags because of the confidential nature of the contents. Complain. Complain.

Ask school to speak to the Mum maybe?

What a horrible situation to be in.

Thank you...

I am reassured that most replies agree that I was right to be furious. I have calmed down but I am still very upset.

The irony is that when ds was in foundation we have a very different book to the normal school ones that went back and forth to school in a separate bag. The teacher in YR1 convinced me to use a normal book and assured me that there wouldn't be any issues.

At the moment I feel I ought to complain... I appreciate some home/school diaries are just "ds had a good day" etc., but ds's one was very detailed on both parts, as we use the information to see patterns of behaviour and anxiousness. Therefor some of the info was very personal, which is why I am upset.

An example of this being that last week I had a throat infection and lost my voice so I sounded quite different which affected ds on two counts. Firstly he counted cope with my funny voice and didn't want me to speak and secondly he really thought I was going to die... to the point that he woke several times through last week in a very distressed state to check if I was still alive. It truly has been a very difficult week for him. All of this was in the diary to show his levels of anxiety. This is why I am so upset.

Anyhow, I will sleep on it and see how I feel tomorrow.

I'm thinking the very same... Polter

I would be furious too they really should have taken better care of such a personal diary. I would complain as you do need to make sure it doesn't happen again. DD came home a couple of times in infants without her diary and I did wonder if it had gone in another child's bag by mistake but there was nothing too personal written in it so I wasn't that bothered. I totally understand where you are coming from as I would not like parents of children in DD's class to know such in depth details about my DD.