Can someone talk to me about autism and toddler girls

[Paintingapicture]

Hi, my DS is nearly 4 and dx with autism this year.

DD is 21 months and I'm starting to worry about her now.

She's so different to DS and really highlights how far behind he was. She has lots of eye contact, joint attention, pointing etc etc. She passes the mchat.

But she isn't talking. She has 4 words and one of them only came recently because we worked on it with her.

I've read that autism presents differently in girls than boys but I always assumed that would be in older children. Is that the case, or can you see these differences at a younger age? What should I be looking for?

We're going to see our (private) speech therapist this weekend. She was amazing with DS and I know she'll give me her honest opinion. While she obviously can't dx DD, I think I'm just trying to mentally prepare myself in case she thinks it might be autism again.

Any words of wisdom on this will be greatly received! Thanks.

My dd2 was diagnosed with autism at 2 years 10 months to be honest she behaved exactly like a boy with autism .

How's her language comprehension? Does she understand instructions?

Her comprehension is good. I asked her earlier where her shoes were. She shrugged with her palms up to say she didn't know, then I said they are in the kitchen and she went to get them. I followed her and she found them.

She can also do things like pat her tummy if you ask where it is, point to daddy if asked etc.

I can also do games like ask her to copy me and put my hands on my head, touch my noise, stamp my feet etc, and she'll copy easily (and seems to enjoy the game).

I do LOTS of repetition (to the point of driving myself mad with it) but at best she'll make a noise, and it's never really that close to the word I've said. Sometimes I think she just makes a noise because she realises I'm waiting for one before I'll give her whatever she's asked for.

In my dd2's case once she walked she just didn't seem to 'need' me to show her or teach her things. Would not see the context to anything. Very very self-directed, spend hours fiddling with things. Never pointed. Could make good eye contact but her eye contact deteriorated from age 2. Was OK with nouns, could point to her tummy etc. but not great understanding. Enjoyed games with a visual element e.g. peekaboo. Her first word was about 18 months and was 'NO!' (irate). Very strong willed. Terrible sleeper. Would panic when I went 'too far' from her.

Personally I would give her a bit longer with her language, she sounds like she is doing well with her understanding.

I work in early years with children from 2 yrs. A surprisingly large number of children come to us at 2 with very few words but within a few months they are doing fine and starting to build sentences.

What you could do is find out if the speech and language therapists in your area do any drop in clinics. They would be able to advise you better than anyone on here.

Good luck

I need more the drop in is a great idea for op they helped hugely with my dd2

I agree the language understanding is an extremely positive sign.

Thanks all for your replies. It feels good to be able to talk to people who don't just dismiss me with "she's still young" etc! I know she is but with her brother's dx, I'm trying to strike a balance between being watchful but not too concerned. I'm not sure I've got that balance right yet!

SALT don't do a drop in here but do run a phone helpline. I spoke to someone on that maybe a month ago. She agreed that, yes, DD is still young but with DS's dx we should be keeping an eye on her. She gave me some things to try which were all things we were doing already (mainly because we did more than words with DS), and said to get back in touch in a few months if nothing changed. Nothing has yet.

I am pleased her understanding is good. It does put my mind at ease slightly. But I'm still worrying a bit. I'm sure DS had more words at this age, and he had a significant speech delay/disorder.

Oh, and I have referred her for a hearing check, just in case.

Dd has autism.

the biggest red flag at around 18-24 months was the delayed speech AND the delayed understanding. she was not able to follow instructions . and lots of repetetive play and tantrums.

your Dd sounds lovely and I agree with the others - good understanding of language is a very good sign.

any concerns about her hearing?

Hi choc. No concerns about her hearing but I've referred for a check anyway.

I'll speak to the salt helpline again and keep an eye on her in the meantime.

Obviously I'm glad DS got his dx and we've been able to help him so much over the last 18 months, but I feel like it's taken a some of the fun away with DD. I'm so aware of red flags etc now, and I'm waiting for her to hit each milestone so I can tick it off and mentally say "phew, another one met".

Not that it means much seeing as autism is such a spectrum but the understanding is really reassuring imo. My dd is 3.10 and looks like all the professionals involved now believe her gdd is autism. Her understanding is currently not testable she won't respond to questions or commands.

Im not sure how you find ' the calm' so you can enjoy her without watching and analysing endlessly. I do try consciously to switch that off. But worry that we are falling behind in getting her assessed- although her abilities are so limited im not sure you could have assessed her much before the last few months.