Transfer to special school

[BlueStiltonCheese]

I've just namechanged for this, as I am not ready to tell everyone in RL about it yet, and a lot of people know my regular username, so if you recognise me, please don't out me..

I had a meeting at ds2's school today, with the headmistress and SN teacher. They want me to transfer ds2 to the special school.

At the moment, he is in a SN unit attached to a mainstream school, in reception. He has some mobility issues, and problems with fine motor skills, extremely limited speech (perhaps 6-7 words total). He understands what is said to him, however, and responds to it.

They said to me today that they thought ds2 would be better off in the special school, where he could get better support and more specialised help.

I really am in 2 minds about this. I am more in favour of integration - I don't like the idea of shutting SN children away from society. I believe that contact with the other children can help him to progress. But I can also see what they mean about the extra help where it's needed.

Has anyone else had experience of transferring a child from MS to special school? Any advice??

I haven't had a transfer but I love dd2 sp sch and I wouldn't swap for the world she isn't shut away she has a perfect tailor made education for her

My daughter moved from a unit attached to a MS primary school to a SS and I wish we'd done it years earlier.

Have you been to visit the SS?

Ds started off in SS so I don't know personally, but obviously I've spoken to other parents at school who have transferred and they say they feel like a weight has lifted. The parents of one little boy in ds's class were almost in tears as they told me how wonderful it was to see him actually included in all the activities, at his MS school he was often left out, especially with outings etc.
Ds certainly isn't shut away, it seems he is never in school the amount of time they spend out and about! There is a MS school right next door and integration is encouraged where appropriate, eg watching each other's school plays or joining in some lessons (ds's class often goes to join in PE or art lessons at the MS). They have a festival every summer which means both schools work together.

Thankyou for those replies, that's encouraging.

I have been to see the SS, but not during school hours. The facilities seem fine, but it's hard to judge the school based on a look around a mostly empty building! Perhaps I should ring them tomorrow morning and ask about going in.

In our case, the SS is not near a MS school, it is in a completely different district (and actually it would make the logistics of getting them to school on time a bit awkward, as I have two other children, but I'm sure we could work something out), so there would be no integration like you describe, Pixel, which is a shame, as I think that sounds great!

To be honest the first time I visited the first special school proposed for dd (she has been to a few) I came away in tears. Some of the children seemed to have such huge issues and I was just a complete wimp about it. Plus I couldn't 'see' dd there.

However, as others have said, it became a school where her education was tailored to her needs. And the teachers never once spoke to me as though anything she did was a 'problem', which was how it had seemed in mainstream. During her time there she thrived and was very happy.

Just be easy on yourself is what I'm saying I suppose. I was very upset at having the option of inclusion taken away, but it's really not like that in so many ways. It's a process for us as parents though. Not always easy.

DD1 has always been at special school, but went there after MS preschool. It was revolutionary - I didn't have to drive everything to do with her provision for the very first time. For the first time they had solutions to suit her.

If the school is more than 2 miles away, you will get transport.

Re. Integration, DD1 was not integrated in MS Preschool. She was the girl with SN. Every trip, every activity had to be considered with a 'how will we manage this with DD1?'. In SS, they have tailored plans that cover every eventuality and all the children are valued as individuals.

I can only speak regarding dd2 but she went to a mainstream pre school and she has got on much better socially at her sp sch .she now names children in her class .at mainstream she was always on the edge

Ds was in a resource attached to a mainstream school as the thought of him needing special school( I visited one and over my dead body were the words I used) was not what I wanted.
He lasted one year in the resource when it all became obvious his needs wernt being met.
I revisited the same special school and realised the kids were more like ds than I dare to admit to my self previously( I was partly in denial).
Ds is now on his second year at the ss and he's come on leaps and bounds but more importantly he's happy and he fits in.
I regret not moving him earlier but I wanted him to fit in with normal(horrid word) kids and do normal kid things, I thought being with only special needs kids would make him worse somehow.
My son hated his previous schools but now loves his teachers and he's finally talking about his peers and calls them all his friends

Yes, ring the school and go and look round with the children there. Also, are there any other special schools you could look round. My daughter attends a SS in a neighbouring LEA and IMHO it is much better for her than any local provision.

Transport provision seems to vary between authorities but do make enquiries to see if your son could access it.

Good luck!

Have you considered a dual/split placement? I'm not sure how or if these things actually work but it might be something you want to look into?

Ds moved from ms to unit attached to ms and is now in ss.

He was miserable in ms, was always the odd one out and although they included him in outings etc, they did not adapt the curriculum to his needs at all, despite having full time 1 to 1.

Time spent in the unit was useful as it catered to ASD children. He had weekly individual SALt, music therapy etc. However, the children at the unit were not integrated into ms at all, they were not included in trips, school plays, or sports day.

Ds has just started at SS and he seems happy - not sure about the academic side though. However, because there are so many more children in the school, as compared to the unit, they are more involved in whole school activities such as school plays, sports day, and there is talk of residential trips etc. Ds is very excited about it all.

you see i struggle with this too.
At the moment my dc is happy going to school,has a relationship with his 1-1 full time TA, likes the social involvement and progress has been made. But the school HT Senco and ep both say a ss would be best -class sizes are small etc etc.
It's a real dilemma, and one i'm also walking through now..i think the decision would be a whole lot easier if dc was miserable at ms to be honest.

DD was in mainstream until mid year 3. As she went up each year her issues which were relatively mildly affecting her in reception, became more and more obvious as her peers left her behind developmentally and academically. By year 3 she became stressed out about school and was learning nothing as far as I could see. She moved to an indi SS which is well suited to her level of difficulty and I can not fault the move. She has much smaller peer groups but there is a lovely atmosphere there and the children mix across the age ranges well. We still make an effort to meet up with local children who she knew in the previous school so from that point of view she does not feel excluded from mainstream life so to speak. There is a big chance between the years as they get older and I think you need to consider this as well as how things are now, and weigh up what options are likely to be available later if you don't take up the SS now.

My little son is so much happier in his SS. He started in September after two years in ms. He is talking more, he sings all the time and the happy little boy I knew for the first 3 years of his life has come back. His difficulties are the same, but he is fully able to join in with what is going on. For me, the level of expertise from the staff, no more hideous school runs feeing like social outcasts. Life is just better.

I would like to add to be careful that the special school is relevant to your child's needs and they have the right experience. Our experience of moving from MS to SS has been awful and Dd is now out of school pending tribunal.

My dd (AS with complex presentation) was 13 though when she moved and it was the LA that moved her. MS was not working but the special school didn't seem right however reassurances were made etc etc etc. They have totally ignored her statement and her ASC needs. They have failed to educate her to her level, been giving her phonics work when she has a reading/spelling age of 17!! This has made dd feel like they think she's stupid and added even more to her anxieties.

We do believe that special school is the right place for dd (academically above average but PSHE skills at age of 7 year old) but not the one she was placed in who's idea of inclusion is that "they expect these children (ASC children) to fit in with the school and not the school fit in with them" (the words of the Head)! The year she did there has caused depression and self harming.

As its an ofsted outstanding special school we are having great difficulties in getting anyone to listen to us and the chair of governors has skirted over our complaints and not actually answered them! They are trying to make out we are lying but evidence does prove otherwise.

I'd echo what sazale said - the 'fit' is vital, and of course there are also good and bad special schools just as with mainstream. See as many as is viable

I think it is vital you see the school with children in it and their interaction. These are the children who will be your child's friends and role models. Our experience of looking round an excellent SS was positive, but we felt we wanted DGS to at least try in MS.

DGS (5) has severe physical problems and just a few words but he loves his MS school and is included in everything. The children love him too and all want to sit with him. He is learning alongside others as best he can and lots of input and equipment have gone in. I know it will change in the future and things may not go so well, but this integration is good for everyone. There are other SN children in the school who all do well. It's an ofsted outstanding and is a phenomenal school.

Its a really difficult decision.

Thankyou for all the encouraging messages. It's really helful to hear about other people's experiences.

I went to visit the special school this morning, while classes were on. One child reminded me a lot of my own ds2 in the way he moved and reacted, which made me think that perhaps ds2 would be able to fit in. The teacher who showed me round explained that they don't just keep all the children in one year group in one classroom - it depends on the specific needs of the individual child as to what happens exactly.

It isn't an easy decision to make, and I don't want to rush into it, but you have certainly given me something to think about - perhaps ds2 would feel more included there.

Everyone up thread has nailed it - particularly the importance of the right fit - and how it works or doesn't work for their DCs. Both mine are in indi SS, and the only thing I'd add to the pot is this - the SS placements have helped me as a person too.

Once my kids were placed at SS, I didn't dread pick-up any more. Through the school, I'm now in touch in RL with a bunch of parents who walk in my shoes every day, who've had very similar experiences, hopes, readjustments, betrayals, bursts of pride and joy, surreal wtf moments etc etc.

It's not something I looked for with the SS placement - you're thinking about the kids to the exclusion of all else, aren't you? But it's unexpectedly enriched my life, that's for sure.

Obviously, this isn't a given with any SS - cliques happen anywhere, distance can make it difficult, and not every school encourages this sort of thing. But I think it's worth mentioning, because if you're in a better place mentally and socially, the chances are that it'll rub off on your kids too, SN or NT...

Positive experience for us too. Equally used the words 'over my dead body' spent most of my first visit in tears saying 'she's not coming here' thought it was the end of the world......took about 2 weeks after she started for me to realise not only was it the best place for her but we should have done it sooner. No more 1:1 outside the classroom, no more being the odd one out....and as for progress - unbelievable. Still took me a while to adjust mentally with it all, yet now find actually its a lot easier with people who meet dd for the first time to just say 'she's goes to a SS' rather than some lengthy explanation if the issues. We are lucky and have a good SS that really makes sure the kids get out and about a lot and mix in with community events which helps. The key is to find the right SS for their needs - some are better than others and some will have 'specialisms' good luck x