Am I being too pushy?

[lifeisajumprope]

Hi all

I need someone to tell me if I am turning into "that" parent. I have now been waiting for the SENCO to contact me for over a week...

I have requested various policies from the school and they have not been forth-coming.

DS tells keeps telling me that he wants to leave because he gets into trouble when he is being good and doesn't understand why. I've asked him why he doesn't ask the teacher to help him understand and he tells me because he will be told he should know why.

DS was punished last week for an incident a teacher didn't witness: a boy hit him, he went to tell the teacher, the hitting boy told teacher DS was the one who hit him...DS was punished - this isn't the first time this kind of thing happens...DS always seems to get punished but when similar things are done to him the other child is just told not to do it again. DS is getting increasing frustrated with what he sees (and what I am beginning to possibly see) as a disparity between how he is punished and how others are punished. OTOH DS can sometimes completely get the wrong end of the stick and misunderstand things....

Right now I'm a bit fed up of all this waiting...I've been telling them for over a year that DS old school felt something was going on...this school were all in a flap at the beginning of last year because DS was "so behind" and yet magically, after I come in to school with documentation from DR and highlighting that a professional is flagging issues DS is suddenly "right where he should be"...

I do not think he is getting the support he needs and I'm fed up of waiting......is a over a week a reasonable time to start making noises that I haven't heard from the SeNCO (considering that almost nothing has been done to address DS needs except for Ready To Learn since I went in there over 2 months ago)

Link to my initial thread in SN

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs_chat/1901014-How-do-I-help-my-child

Have you thought about doing it by email? That way you have a paper trail.

He is being failed here by his current school and I would now consider also moving him to a different school. He should be on School Action Plus with an accompanying IEP; these people to date have seemingly not done either.

I would also ask the GP to refer your son to a developmental paed (not a community one) and apply too for a Statement of special needs from the LEA in question. All this may seem a bit daunting but you are basically his best - and only - advocate here. No-one else is in a better position than you to fight for him, this is also because no-one else will do so.

I do g think your being pushy, at all. In fact I think you have got lots more room to push.

If they are not on board then I agree. Change schools and get new school on board.

Don't **

In my experience, she who shouts loudest gets heard...shouting nicely of course...

Atilla - is a SSN from the LEA the same as statutory assessment? Because the head told me I'd already bypassed the Ed Psyche by going to my own Dr and getting a referral and even if I hadn't he wouldn't' have been seen because they are only "allowed" 4 Ed Psyche evaluations a year...

DO I just go back to the Dr and say I want a different referral? The community paed has gotten him referred to OT (appointment in Dec) Orthotics (Appointment next week) and SALT (still waiting to hear from them at all)...I wonder if he is also Dyslexic since we can have massive melt downs with reading and he is crap at comprehension....

I agree just apply for statutory assessment yourself. That is the only process which has a statutory timescale and carries a right of appeal. Anything else is in effect just voluntary and you can be fobbed off.

IPSEA has a draft letter on its website.

You don't need to show your child definitely needs a statement, you just need to prove he might and an assessment can be a way of finding out if he does or doesn't need extra support and what sort of support.

It can also be a way of opening the back door to health assessments and EP assessments as if they turn you down for statutory assessment (which they probably will if school is not supportive) you then appeal. The Local Authority cannot defend the case at tribunal without evidence - they will then have to get NHS, EP etc to see your child to get evidence all is fine.

Statutory assessment is a good way of making sure referrals and assessments get done and the school also have to prove they have everything in hand.

Agnes - thank you. I've been to have a look at the sample letter.

Do I need to have a diagnosis though? DS has a vague ADHD with other stuff mixed in (which is why she has made referrals - and she says he doesn't fit neatly into a box, whatever that means) or do I literally list the things we struggle with and then list school as brushing me off, failing to action after a meeting with the HT, being told he can't possibly have ADHD because he can sit on a chair and waiting over a week for SENCO to contact me.

When we get turned down where is the best place I can get info on tribunals and how much one will cost?

Should I get letters from other people such as his old school teacher who first flagged problems and his after-school activities leaders who have noticed things and ssend these in with the initial request to the LEA?

At this stage all you have to do is send the IPSEA letter.
The LA will then collect info from you, school and other agencies.
The LA then has to decide within 6 weeks whether to do the assessment or not.
info here
You really just need to say what your child's difficulties are and that you think not making appropriate progress
You don't need a diagnosis. You can say a detailed assessment is needed to find out why he is having difficulties learning / falling behind peers.
You can include other evidence.
At this point I would't stick the knife into school. Wait and see what they say you can always rebut it later. Give school the opportunity to do the right thing and acknowledge there are difficulties.
If you start out criticising school and that info is shared with the school then you can guarantee the school are more likely to say there is no problem and they are doing everything wonderfully.
At this stage I would just tell school you feel an assessment is necessary to get to the bottom of why he is having difficulties.
If you go on Dept of Education website you can download a parents guide to statutory assessment, the SEN Code of Practice and the SEN toolkit.
If you look at SENCOP it will set out the type of difficulties so its not just academic, its social, understanding social rules, behaviour etc etc.
So even if his academic scores are fine that doesn't mean his behaviour is age appropriate.
I would keep it factual, you can mention misunderstanding things, bullying, behaviour etc and how that is affected learning.