i have just collected ds2 school records from school

[thriftychic]

and the report about the incident he had in ict is in there. i posted here and had lots of help with the drama that was ds2 being internally excluded from school due to having shoved a teacher . i had asked several times for some proper information as to what had actually happened . i got nothing . so as advised by ipsea requested his entire school records.
the report from the ict teacher states 'physical contact was made albeit not aggressively'
it is all just as ds2 described to me , he was telling me the truth . so , why did the assistant head give him an internal exclusion that he couldnt cope with ? why did he make us go through ds2 being suicidal and missing 2 weeks of school . ds2 came home with a test paper yesterday he had scored 1 out of 60 , because he wasnt there when they were doing that stuff and is now behind .
i am so all over again

i was told over and over that it was a serious incident that they cannot allow aggressive behaviour , they need to show the staff that they take it seriously . HE WAS NOT EVEN BLOODY AGGRESSIVE.

sorry getting carried away now

Take notes.

Make a list of 'contentious' things that give conflicting pictures and write them bullet point by bucket point to the school asking for them to be explained in detail in order for you to consider raising a formal complaint.

(Often threats of complaints are more effective than actual).

You need written communication on each point. To help you identify what you need evidence on, imagine you are no longer around and your Ds comes across his records, you will want him to see both the truth of things and also that you had his back.

thanks starlight
i just cannot understand how the class teacher can say he wasnt aggressive but then the assistant head is phoning me to say he has had a full statement from the teacher and that ds2 shoved her and is to be excluded.

why would he do that ?
how can they justify excluding a boy with asd that hasnt been intentionally aggressive when the only teacher present at the time even writes that he wasnt aggressive ???

Thrifty, I can see how upset you are and devestated on behalf of your son. This board is full of stories like this though so though you are right to be angry and tearful, you are not alone and it isn't as personal as it might feel. It's what schools do and what they get away with.
Be systematic and determined and demand answers. Not to get back at them, but to pull together the evidence to move forward to a brighter future.

i know youre right but i am angry that anyone has to go through this crap. i read stuff on here and i just feel so annoyed that they get away with it and sorry that we are made to suffer when most have suffered enough already.
its the way of the world i know but i read that statement and my jaw hit the floor !

thanks polter , i am tempted to pitch up there tomorrow and demand to see the assistant head , he is v v good at avoiding me but surely he owes me an explanation ?

No. They owe you an explanation in writing.

Demanding it verbally allows you to de-stress but it isn't very effective at helping you to move forward. If you want to you can hand him a letter and say 'This is a letter in response to what I found in the school records. I am requesting a proper inquiry into the processes and handling of issues to the detriment of my son's education'. and expect a proper written response.

I had an arsehole of a head at dd's last school, who predictably got promoted to an even bigger school before I got my complaint in (and this was a special school too!) But we had a lot of this - baseless exclusions. My approach would have been to tie them in knots with all the inconsistencies in the various stories, had I had the time. As it happens, we used the exclusions to prove to the LEA that school wasn't meeting needs and moved too. But I feel your pain. It's such an awful use of our time to have to do this stuff. I ended up feeling like a complete victim, so God only knows how he made my child feel! The damage incompetent teachers do is criminal in my opinion. They can completely screw up lives and families.

Do you have someone from an asd support group who could back you up?(sorry, don't know back story). It might put the wind up them.

Besides the issue of records, and getting some redress for having this on his school record (plus the satisfaction of putting a rocket up those in the wrong), having achieved that - do you feel this is a school you can continue to work with? Or for various reasons do you have to make this school work?

i will do it in writing , thanks for reminding me why i should , sometimes all logic goes out the window when i am outraged !
there really isnt much option for another school unfortunately , although i am still looking at what little there is around here before i completely give up on the idea of moving him .
not really anyone to back me up , the woman at camhs keeps making out like the school are rubbish , that shes got my back etc and then as soon as theres a meeting with us all at school shes crap , seems to have a total personality change .

Parent partnership any good locally?

I just found they'd listen to almost anyone over a mere parent....

By 'they' I mean school

Adding my voice too to those saying do it in writing Thrifty.

That way you create a record,

They learn that if something similialr happens again, they'll get gried again - so they'll try to avoid it. That's a good outcome.

School files are difficult things to read. I was in tears reading DS's at the abuse he suffered - all kndly documented by school

Sorry to hear that wetaugust - it's heartbreaking, and when school don't 'get' what you're upset about it compounds it

Any progress thriftychic?

hi , ds2 has been at home feeling ill so i havent managed to get any kind of letter together yet , hopefully do it over the weekend . sorry to hear your ds suffered wetaugust