fell to pieces....

[LilTreacle]

I know its normal to have bad days and feel like its all too much.
Today is that day, and I am struggling to stop crying.

Had a particularly demand avoidant shouty angry DS this morning and I ran out of patience and understanding and ended up sobbing that this is not what I want either, nothing about this is what I want.

He recovers swiftly after an outburst , but I don't and I am still crying two hours later.

He's been incredibly resistant and angry at home in the mornings this week, but had good time at school so trying to just accept he's getting it out of his system at home so he can cope at school....but its hard to just roll with the (metaphorical thank fully) punches today.

Not looking for solutions, just needed to get that out...no-one else to tell that would understand at this moment.

I hear you too treacle
Hope your mornings become a little easier soon

Ds (16) follows a routine in terms of self care ... It's the only way he can make sure he's done everything.
I am teaching him shopping at the moment though as I realised he had no independent supermarket skills at all... So we did sainsburys this morning as it is a non-college morning.
That threw him .

The morning is a set plan, with rewards and praise and hugs in-between the dreaded EVERYTHING that he is asked to do.

Most days he resists a bit but is persuaded to do to what is needed without a complete meltdown.

Not today, and I had a little meltdown of my own.

Its 2 weeks after dx, the dawning realisation that this is how it is and I cant fix it is just too much. Grief and fear that I wont be able to do what is needed.

Hugs and and I was similar last night we had dx last week and last night was at end of rope trying to compensate/keep the peace. There is only so much emotional energy to go round sometimes. More

thanks for the responses.....

I'll have a think about what we can do differently.

I need to be more responsive to the mood DS wakes up and support that, and try and makes things less demanding.....

I try to keep our mornings as calm as possible. Dd3 gets dressed in bed! I put her clothes on her bed roughly 20/30 minutes before I actually need her to get dressed. I tell her she needs to put her clothes on and then walk away and go in the shower. When I am finished I walk past her room and say are your clothes on. She usually growls or makes some kind of communication.

I have found tight routines and minimal discussion works best for us.

Dd3 had her dx 2 years ago and we dont get it right all of the time but we have learned more coping strategies as we have gone along.

Be kind to yourself it is very early days, keep coming on here. I have had more supoort from here than anywhere else.

Good luck

DH was a star and generated a new visual schedule with different pictures and reiterated the 'this is for you to ask and an adult to decide'.

That seems to have been all it needed......still has to do the same things to get ready, but it feel sdifferent enough to not fight against...much better this morning.

must remember not to continue to bang head on wall when the tried and tested strategy does not work any more.....