I put this on another thread last week but no one has read or replied and I still need advice. I am totally confused. My husband wants us to get divorced and have a clean break financial agreement now that we have been separated for 2 years. I am happy with the amount of child maintenance he pays for my two children. I am concerned that I am not being considered for things like spousal maintenance which I wouldn't ordinarily care about but this is because my son is disabled and I am his main carer. He is 10 years old but goes to a special needs school. I gave up my career to have our son before we knew of his difficulties and I planned to return to work when he went to school. At the time my husband earnt just a bit more than I did and the same when we got married so started married life equally and then I supported him through our marriage as he got better jobs and entitlements while I raised the children. For the last 10 years I haven't paid a pension. Now I am a single parent because we have separated and I have next to no earning potential or future prospects as I have been out of my career for 10 years and many more to come and if I wanted to go back I would need to re train as its been so long. On top of that I can't work many hours because of my care responsibilities and the fact I need to sleep in the day as my son has wakeful, difficult nights. This means I have less earning potential now and also in my future and this has a knock on effect of having a pension. My husband is agreeing to a small sum which he says represents 50% of the pension sum for the years we were married but I feel that caring for my son will effect the rest of my working life not just those years we were married whereas it has no effect on him other than paying child maintenance but he can still improve his prospects, work when he likes, where he likes and when. He also gave me a small sum of half the equity in the house which was very small which I used to put carpets down in the social housing I am in (he stayed in the marrital home as I could not afford to as it is twice the size I need and can afford. He is now earning in excess of £50K and gets a bonus scheme annually and I can't work more than 5 hours a week because of my care responsibilities which will be ongoing as although my son is 10 he cannot communicate, is doubly incontinent, aggressive and cannot dress himself, brush his own hair, clean his teeth etc!!! He needs two carers with him out in the community. He sees his Dad once a fortnight from 6pm Friday until 6pm Saturday other than that my son goes into a children's care home once a month for 3 nights to give me a rest otherwise its all me. Any recommendations? I know that we get carers allowance and DLA for now to help but after my son goes into care/adult services (which they are already suggesting) I will be left with no career, no prospects, minimum pension and no life ... am I the only one who thinks that's unfair?
Thanks for reading