So, finally had NHS ADOS and 3di

[Handywoman]

dd2 now diagnosed officially with ASD by Consultant Paed following multidisciplinary assessment today.

I have been so stressed in the last 24hrs but when I got there the lovely Paed was very reassuring and told me 'we are just here to draw everything together and move on', she warned me that people will always question her diagnosis but for her there is no doubt. Specialist ASD SALT (who is just un-be-flippin-lievably knowledgeable re girls on the spectrum) observed dd2 in school on Monday and saw all her little ways plus a few extra I had not seen before!

I am so relieved especially after having a 'borderline' private assessment in the summer. It all feels very surreal but a huge relief. I went back to work this afternoon (missed lunch) but just scoffed a curry and am now having a cup of tea – dd2 still has some homework to do for private SALT tomorrow – no chance, I am exhausted!! dd2 has zero idea, happy to play a few games then go back to school – right now she has wrapped a bandage from her pudsey bear round the door handle and is currently swinging on it repeatedly – plus ca change!!!

Hooray!!!!!

Yeah fine, totally fine, on my second one of these and once dd1 is dropped off at choir I will be starting on the

Oh my word, that's....amazing. I'm so glad you have an answer now. You'll not have to say 'my DD is undx, but.....' again.

Thanks guys. I hope this spurs you on, Lougle as my dd2 whose use and interpretation of language is eerily similar to yours is quite subtle, and wears a hearing aid for conductive hearing loss. If I can get there then it can be done!!!

That's great news handy. People will always want their opinion. You know the truth and that's all that matter. :)

YAY!!! Well done Handy, I know how hard it can be to get girls a dx but Dd3 has benefitted so much from her dx. I dont care about the people who doubt it anymore, if they cant see Asd in my Dd3 then they dont know nuffin

I am glad you know where you are now, Handy. We feel most odd with our borderline 'diagnosis'.

Thanks. I am already seeing dd2 and her anxiety and train-track mind in action, and thinking 'ho hum' instead of 'wtf' so nice! And the helps.

Tis a marvellous thing. Next stop: when/how to let dd2 know. We already have picture books about Aspergers but that's not her diagnosis.

It's strange...I came home from DD2's parents evening last night and had a real dilemma over what to tell her. In the end I opted for

"Mrs X is really pleased with you and has set you targets to make sure you do your finger spaces and Capital letters only at the beginning of sentences or for Names, etc. She did say that she thought perhaps you worry about things a bit."

This morning was the first morning that DD2 was very anxious about school but didn't grin at her teacher when she asked her if she was ok. She looked quite solemnly at her and said quietly 'I have a tummy ache'.

I was wondering if the acknowledgement that she worries from the teacher was enough to let her show it.

It will be interesting to see if you get more obvious ASD behaviours once you acknowledge the reason for them? Then perhaps some of the anxiety will be lessened, because she doesn't have to hide it and 'cope'? Or is that barmy thinking??

I think maybe your dd2 is a bit better than mine at theory of mind type stuff. Whereas your dd2's rigidity is a bit more explicit than mine. My dd2 won't be integrating feelings about herself with the world any time soon, I don't think...

Yay! loved that you scoffed a curry..lol

F*ck it poor dd2 has had a terrible day at school, I literally had to scoop her up in tears. Cancelled session with private SALT. Found a note in home-school communication book saying she's been upset and worried about having an Asperger Brain (the term we used looking at the Kathy Hoopman picture books). I was going to take dd2 out for hot choc instead of SALT, am definitely going to have to tell dd2 she has a diagnosis. GULP. Feel terrible I didn't explain more yesterday but i was dealing with my own feelings. That is what you call a balls up Wish me luck.

aww poor dd2 handy but I suspect as she gets older she will be able to understand her dx better. Im happy for you though, although its still difficult to know your child has x difficulty

Oh Handy -this is just a little bump in the road.

Oh Polter, Lougle, sammy thank you, thank you...just got back from cafe rouge. I very concisely told dd2 exactly who those people were yesterday, that they did lots of tests and that they all agreed dd2 was very clever and lovely and that the reason the Paed gave me a hugs was to say 'well done for having such a clever daughter. dd2 found this amusing and seemed to take it on board. Then I told her that she does indeed have an 'Asperger Brain' and that is a normal brain that makes it difficult to write down your ideas at school and makes you worry a bit more. dd2 then looked all around the room, avoiding eye contact and started saying 'donkey' repeatedly. Then our chat diverted to who had left the least hot choc in the cup. I guess it will be an ahem, 'ongoing dialogue' haha was never gonna be an open-and-shut convo I guess.

Thanks for the link Polter will check it out.

If it's any consolation, we've had a bump in the road too. I told DD2 about the SENCO's great idea of having an extra snack and she completely dissolved. She said that everyone would crowded her and that they would stare and she is just too shy. That's why she doesn't want to be around other people.

She whispered that her life is just getting trickier and trickier as she grows, and that she needs help with just everything

Oh no Lougle wish we could commiserate together in a mini G&C, here, have one of these

Handy, I'd so love it if we were local...in fact all of you.

Today, she had her raisins instead of her class snack because she thought she could only have one thing.

I've asked her to at least give the new idea a try. I told her the others will only be looking because they'd like to do it too.

I had to resist crying hard when she whispered that to me. It's true, I can't deny it. Especially when her little sister comes home and announces that she's Mary in the Year R nativity!

Heartbreaking to hear her whisper that, Lougle. TA to take her off for a snack/down time - that's a great idea Polter.

Handy I just wanted to say that Dd3 did start to show alot more autistic traits after I had told her about her dx, at first I was worried that she was really stressed but now I think it is that she doesnt feel like she has to hold it in all the time anymore.

She still holds it in at school but not at home and often not when we are out, anymore. I love the fact that she has embraced her differences and now feeos comfortable with who she is, with close family and friends at least.

lougle sorry your Dd is struggling there was an article on the radio today about some more research that has been done on undiagnosed girls. I found a written piece in an Australian newspaper, I cant do links on the tablet so will copy and paste it into a new thread