is this woman talking total rubbish ?

[thriftychic]

since ds2 got an internal exclusion at school a new woman has appeared in the mix , she is supposed to be the one who can put things in place to help him .
yesterday and today ds2 has refused to go to school because he doesnt want to do PE ./ he is actually really impossible , i know , he says he doesnt have a valid reason he just doesnt like it , its pointless (this is what he is like with lots of things) according to him he doesnt do what he doesnt wanna do .
anyway , i have had him refusing school on and off for ages and have done my absolute best . I have suffered him tormenting me , raging and crying because i wont allow his xbox whilst he should be at school . i have tried not to let the school refusing pay off but also tried to fix the problems at school and be understanding .
i have talked to him , i have talked to school.
this bloody woman has just phoned me , i have told her why hes at home again today and she has just told me that there could be consequences such as a fine . that they cannot help him if he isnt in school . that its priority to get him back in school asap ( like i dont want that!)
this is the same bloody school that wouldnt allow him in his lessons 2 weeks ago until he agreed to go in the isolation room for his so called bad behaviour.
this woman clearly knows nothing about him . she also told me that i had to contact additional needs myself
saw camhs yesterday and they think i shouldnt be having to keep doing what ive been doing , basically trying to fix school AND home . so they are going to call a meeting with all concerned together instead of me keep getting fobbed off with just this person and that person and never the ones needed all in one room.
sorry to rant on but really , am i seriously accountable by law ? am i really able to get fined when theres just nothig else i can possibly do ?

You can put it in writing to this silly woman and the SN officer at the LA that due to the schools failure to support your child properly over a prolonged period you would like to call an emergency statement review.

If you don't have a statement - apply for one fast!

then you can call IPSEA for what to say in the meeting to discuss the schools lack of support. (NB they can be putting in 100 week of TA time etc, but if it's the WRONG support or methods they are using then they are still failing to meet his needs).

I'm investigating trying to get inline school on DS's statement as it's amazing both how much more he's learning and how much less stressful our family life is now caring carrots are not busting a gut to upset him on a daily basis like they were at school. Just a thought for you.

OR look at other schooling options.

thankyou bochead

not coping brilliantly with ds2 behaviour today , think i have pmt he has been switching kettle on to boil , taking batteries out of everything , hid his brothers bus pass this morning to make him miss the bus , emptied the bookcase , anything he can do to wind me up . He is really sad inside i know but when he causes me to burn the food and then sits there laughing at me in a horrible snide way i feel like walking out its not easy to take from a big 14 year old .
i know he will be crying later though saying why does he make everyones life a misery and wanting to be dead and all the usual not knowing what to do with himself as hes such a freak etc etc etc
things were improving until school decided to exclude him .

I really feel for you thrifty your ds sounds so typical of a child whose needs are not being met at school. I know you know this but he is desperately trying to communicate this to you.

Tbh, I feel sad for both of you, in fact your whole family and hate to say it but I think things could get worse for you all

I cant remember if you have applied for a statutory assessment but if you havent please do. There is a letter on the IPSEA website.

Good luck

The LA would be on very dodgy ground throwing the law at you as it will highlight their failures more than your and I bet they would never go through with it.

I would be so confident of this fact that I woukd put the threats in writing quoting the name of the person who said stuff and asking if you have understood correctly. I bet they retract as it coukd be used later for a discrimination claim.