Shall I say something...

[minionmadness]

I just returned from my NT sons swimming lesson, I take his twin brother (ASD) with me.

We sit in the gallery watching and I usually take the ipad to keep ds occupied or I would be circling the room making random noises.

Tonight I forgot the ipad as we were in a rush... ds refused to stay seated and started saying random things to the other parents, at one point he said to the lady next to us "why has that lady there (sat next to her) got a big nose"! He is always very literal and she does actually have a bigger than average nose. I feel awful typing that.

She definitely heard him... I immediately took him outside the room and talked to him.

I see this woman every week as her dd swims with ds. I just feel awful.

On one hand I know she heard him, so feel as though I need to explain the reason behind his rudeness (not that his ASD excuses it). On the other hand saying something acknowledges he said it and perhaps she would rather I didn't say anything.

Should I say anything when I see her next week?

Not for a big nose, no. I mean you can apologise for the social mistake but you don't have to share more than you want to. My dd is likely to have said similar and she is NT.

How awkward for you. I would say you've missed the boat, this time. You either have to say something to the child at the time, loud enough for the person to hear (DS, that's not polite), or say something very quickly to the person (sorry about that) and move on swiftly.

I don't think you can go to them a week later and apologise.

My (NT) 4 year old still remembers a lady I know who was very kind to her and says 'When will we go and see the lady with the big spot here ?' It doesn't matter how many times I say the lady's name, she still thinks of her as the lady with the spot.

Thanks... although I took him outside for him to calm down, I did say "That's rude ds and not nice" before I did so, so she would have heard me.

You're right... the moments for an apology has gone.

Will still feel awful when I have to face her next week with the "I know that you heard ds" written all over my face.

You know what though, it's more than likely you'll be the only one who remembers the incident.