SN, new baby, don't think I'm coping well

[sammythemummy]

Iv been very emotional today, Im actually in tears as Im writing this. My dd1 is staying at my parents house (10 min walk from me) as Iv been over doing things lately so my mum volunteered to look after her until iv got a routine with the baby. I am grateful as not many people have this much support from their family, but why do I feel so sad?

Actually I know its becuse iv not been able to do activities surrounding her language, not been outdoor with her and Iv just realised that I won't be able to afford her private SLT wih the new baby and winter coming (energy bills). I feel like im letting her down and shes not progressing.

How do you all cope with?

You can only do so much sammy. if your LO is happy with her grandparents for a while then make the most of it. Sort the baby out and get yourself to a place where you can manage both.

Equally if you can let others have the baby for short times and spend some quality one on one time with your
Dd, then everyones a winner.

Be kind to yourself, you can pick the therapies back up when you can.

Good luck with the scrummy new born

How old is dd1 and what are her difficulties?

Hi Sammy,

My dd is 3.5 and has a chromosome disorder. Her baby brother is now nearly one. I found it so hard in the first few months - it really felt that I wad letting dd down. We went from spending hours playing together and doing speech and physio etc every day to her being way too acquainted with cbeebies. I felt horribly horribly guilty. But, gradually I got balance back. Putting the little one in a carrier helped - I could then still chase her round soft play etc. It does get easier - and they benefit so much from eachother now - he has really helped with her speech. Just wanted to say hang in there - it does get easier. Just focussing on surviving for now is ok. Congratulations on your baby too :-)

Could you keep the private salt going but cut down a bit on frequency? I felt that really helped me stay on track with dd with what little time I did have focussed on her - and the salt also reassured me I was basically doing ok which helped my state of mind apart from anything else. My heart goes out to you it is a wonderful but difficult time I think even for those with toddlers who don't have SN.

I'm sorry things are so tough. Try not to look at it as the 'big picture'. Just take the next few weeks and go from there.

Thanks polter Im having some pudding now and it does help. Star her biggest challenge is speech and lang, but does have social issues as well, shes 3.6.

Bryzoan thats exactly how I feel, although I do remind myself, as lougle said of the "bigger picture". She really loves her sister now, she will cuddle her when shes crying and say "shhh baby, stop crying" with a really worried look lol.

I suppose I need to give mysef time to feel better physically so I can be out and about again.

Ineed, baby seems to be permanently attached to the boob, so for now Ill have to work around her naps. Thanks :)

Just saw this Sammy. Hugs.

While you settle with the baby, just give her therapy a break. In a few days you will feel better and then you can work out a 1-1 routine with your DD1

its not easy having a dc with sn and a new baby, though I do comfort myself with the fact that just having this new little person in our home is helping to bring my ds on. He is 4 with gdd and having gone back to basics and spending most of my time on the floor singing nursery rhymes and reading books I have seen improvements in him. So no practical help but just to let you know the chaos of family life can be quite good - just think of it as alternative therapy. Mess does get to me after a bit though. I do have a box of first and then activities next to me for when I'm breast feeding though.

Thanks everyone,

I do feel better now and feel less guilty. Still no SALT, but we are finding time to play together again.

zzzz & hedgyhoggy shes talking more now the baby has arrived so I know the new addition will help her with both her speech and her social skills. Kind of wish I had her long before so they had a smaller age gap.

zzzz her speech is coming on slowly, so shes on 2/3 wordish sentences, but most of the times she sticks her jargon in between words, so she'll say "uncle, dont go laptop, ok?", but what she means is "uncle, dont go on the laptop, ok?"
I have no idea as to why she cant say the on in between :s