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Don't know what to do and when

7 replies

Skylar123 · 09/11/2013 22:46

I'm really hoping for some help as I have read so much valuable info on here in the past.
Ds has dx of hfa. Always been behind at school, clingy, hates school , social struggles at play times. Constant vists to senco since nursery knowing something was a miss (prior to knowing dx) senco dismissed said all was well Ds was fine in school and just a little shy, behind due to him being a boy and youngest in class and so on. Dx to date is private only. Nhs ADOS is feb. He also has had private educational assessments back in April. All handed to the school and discussed in length. School senco still reluctant to address any issues. Frequently reminds me that Ds levels are rising and that he is not severely below par. He was at lower part of level 1's end of year 2. With a level 2 in reading. He was referred to learning support lady when he was in year 1 but school stopped using her in year 2 and his teacher did it instead. All seemed to change end of last academic year in July. A letter was received from our county council to the school stating Ds had asd and should the school need any services they should contact them. Finally being taken seriously and Ds has some extra help at school, not on a one to one basis. Had a card system and a TA to watch over him, IEP in place manly to address the social issues and referral to ASD Salt and autism outreach, no sign yet. I took a breath of relief. However I don't trust the school as I have had to fight and fight to get the littlest things such as an IEP. Also Ds levels seem to be rising and rising and I just don't know if they are fobbing me off or not.
However Ds has always been very reluctant to go into school but last week it got so bad that he refused to leave the house it was very traumatic. It is always a struggle and a slow process getting him to school but he usually always goes in the end and on time. Last week he took a backwards step and was in bits begging me not to send him there and telling me he couldn't cope and why do I keep making him do it. He said he just needed a day to think. Bless him. In the end I have up trying to get him
In I called the school and told them the truth they were very good and the senco called me back to say leave him at home and don't mention school again to him for now and suggested a meeting Monday morning with Ds and me. Now my worry is...should I see this incident with Ds as a sign that all is not well and that I shouldn't sit back and relax and let the school get on with it and I need to push for more or should I be happy with what they are already doing and am i expecting to much, what more could they or should they do? How can I help my Ds please advise me if you can or tell me to stop being ungrateful for what we already have been offered. Thank you

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bochead · 09/11/2013 23:00

Write directly to the LA & apply for a statement. School will continue to fob you off otherwise.

The IPSEA website gives great guidance on how to do this.

wetaugust · 09/11/2013 23:21

I totally agree with Bochead.

By keeping him at home you are conveniently solving school's 'problem' of how to manage him and are also sending the signal to him that if he chooses to refuse to go he can stay at home - not good.

Skylar123 · 09/11/2013 23:23

Thanks bowhead but do you think I am really in a position to request a SA. I wouldn't know why I was requesting it, i mean i know Ds needs more or just something more specific for his needs actually but i don't know how to state my case. I have had a look at ipsea, I will do it again and read the sen cop to help me.

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Skylar123 · 09/11/2013 23:25

Do you think I did the wrong thing and I should have forced him in? I've never let him stay off before and he tries everything in the book.

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Skylar123 · 09/11/2013 23:26

Sorry bochead bad typo on your name! Embarrassed now.

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Skylar123 · 09/11/2013 23:29

Also as far as school tell me he is good boy in class no problems with behaviour or anything like that. I've never had any bad behaviour reports on him ever so I do believe this is true. He is a lovely boy.

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Skylar123 · 09/11/2013 23:33

Although saying that I happened to help out at a sch trip last June and I was very shocked. My Ds was being wound up by a known troublemaker in his class and they finally came to blows but as both this boy and my Ds were in my group and I was minding them only I saw the incident. My Ds got so fed up with his goading that he actually thumped him one. I couldn't believe it . I was dumbstruck. He is aggressive at home sometimes but never with others unless it is his cousin and they are both as bad as each other when they want to be. I spoke to the TA about it and she seperate do them and said yes those two clash. I was a bit confused by it all as I had always been told my Ds was an angel by school.

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