More then 1dc with ASD...

[Shellywelly1973]

Ds 8 has a dx of ASD & ADHD. He is a complex child & ended up at GOSH as local CDC didn't diagnose him. Ds has an I.Q of 136 but socially & emotionally about 3years. Has severe anxiety which manifests as aggression. He's in a SS school, class of 5. 1-1 etc...your getting the picture!

Younger ds is 5. Seemed to be doing fine. Socially & academically. He does have very poor vision. He started to 'misbehave' about 6 months ago in school. He's become very sad. Hates school. Not mixing. Throwing tantrums. Now on reduced hours etc.

School wanted Camhs involved. I called ds8 Dr...basically pushed them to see ds5. Today tbe Dr said she's concerned & it appears ds5 does have 'social & communication issues'. He will be assessed at the local CDC.

He has traits but I really hoped that was part of living with his older brother. I'm so sad at the moment. Im also scared. The system is shit. I know its shit, I've been through it. Ds8 is extreme. I always used that as a positive-iyswim! Ds5 isn't as obvious as ds8. Ds5 isn't coping in school yet I've very little hope of getting him into a ss like ds8 school.

So what im asking is- how do I do it again? How do i work this 'new' system? This section of MN kept me sane & I wish I didn't feel the need to ask for help again but to be honest I've no one to talk to about this. Dp is in denial. Family aren't interested. Im 28 weeks pregnant & struggling...

TIA.

This place is here exactly for the help and support you need, Shelly

By the time we went through the diagnostic process with DS2, a year after DS1, I was pretty much resigned to it all. Our (extended) family just does not produce NT males!

You will do it, you know you will.
As you say your younger ds is very different to your older ds so maybe the different assessment process may be better suited to him.
Shit system it maybe but you have the advantage of experience, so they wont be able to blind you with bullshit!

Totally agree with mymatemax You will do it and having gone through the system once and found how shitty it is, will make you ready and prepared to get through the system again.

I found it harder emotionally when ds3 was diagnosed than I had done with ds2 but when it came to getting the right help, it was far easier doing it second time around.

ds3 isn't as obvious as ds2 but you know what they are looking for now and you know what you need to emphasise to get the things/services/school you want.

Ah thanks!

Ourye- I was thinking there is only 1 male in my family I would consider NT! Our family was predominantly female until I had my 2ds. My sister has a ds & dd. Dn is 4 & shows traits too...my dad, brother, uncle & grandad all had/have autistic traits.

mymatemax- your right. The Dr we deal with at Camhs is a Senior Consultant. She very influential but a bit fluffy... she was talking about meetings & the E.P. I said to her that's all well & good but ultimately I asked her to help with speeding up the referral to the CDC. I said to her without a diagnosis we are dealing with a child with challenging behaviour. With a diagnosis I am fighting for the rights of an autistic child.

Thanks. I need to get my head round everything & find some other families with more than one child on the spectrum.

eatyourveg do your ds' attend the same school?

Im worried I won't be able to get ds2 the same or equal educational provision as ds1.

They both went to the same two nurseries (sn and ms shared placement) then ds2 went to a unit for asd attached to a ms primary. As ds3 was more able, he went with ds1 to our local rc ms pimary. ds2 included there once a week. I nearly put them together in the unit and had intended going for a 50/50 shared ss/ms place for ds3 but opted for full time ms because he had more role models in ms and the split nursery placement showed he performed better in a ms environment.

When it came to secondary, ds2 went to a ss and ds3 went to a small ms independent though his statement names a local ms.

It can be a hassle having them at different schools and I muddled up letter of the week and show and tell days more times than I can remember but it really is worth the hassle in order for them to get the very best provision for their particular needs. Certainly worked for us.

The statementing process is so much easier the second time around as by then I had figured out what the jargon meant and which phrases were actually euphemisms for things which signified ms or ss.

Two DSs with it. DS1 has AS, Dyspraxia and Dyslexia. DS4 has ASD and is deaf and non verbal. DS1 has a statement and is in MS. DS4 is at a Special School.