ASD and running off

[zen1]

I just wondered whether anyone had any strategies that had helped with getting DC to understand not to run off in a public place?

DS3 is nearly 5 and whenever we go anywhere, he likes to run miles ahead of everyone else. I am finding it hard to keep up with him (particularly when loaded with school bags!). He usually does stop at roads, but I am always anxious that he may not. He is at his worst in supermarkets and will not stay put even for a few seconds. He thinks it's funny to run away and can be anywhere within the supermarket within a matter of minutes. I don't drive so we are out and about quite a lot.

His understanding is good and he knows it is "naughty" to run away, but he still does it even though he intellectually understands the consequences (e.g removal of his Thomas trains, which he reminds me to do when we get home). Various 'helpful' relatives have suggested reins, but this would cause a complete meltdown and he wouldn't move at all.

Dd3 was a nightmare for running off when she was younger, I had to actually teach her to stop, whereas children without ASD seem to learn to stop naturally.

We played a game where she was allowed to run on ahead but when I shouted "Stop" she had to freeze like a statue until I said go again.

I had to play it with her at first so she got the idea and it took a while before she was reliable.

I had used reins from when she started walking so carried on putting them on but tucked the strap in while she practised stopping.

She was about 90% reliable by the time she was 6 but we still had some heart stopping moments. I bought her a back pack with a chest strap and a handle but no strap on it for if we went by busy roads or places like shopping centres.

Funny really now she is 11 and never moves from my side and is permenantly dangling on my arm

Good luck

Thank you, Ineed. I never put reins on him when he was younger because he has hypermobility so didn't walk until 2.6, so introducing them now would not go down well with him! The stopping game is a good idea - I will try it on the school run tomorrow .

I think part of his problem is that he likes to be ahead of everyone, so hates to be behind slow walkers and even pushes ahead of everyone in the bus queue because he can't bear not being first on. If I try and restrain him he kicks off.

Yes Dd3 is like that, she cant stand not being at the front. I found that by allowing her to be infront but stop when I called it gave her some control but not too much.

Dd3 is also hypermobile in all her joints but I didnt find out until she was 8!! I always wondered why she was constantly falling over
I dont know how she managed to walk to be honest.

Good luck with the "Stop" game

I need to regain some control over DS (he falls over far more than average, but it doesn't stop him running ).

We get 2 buses to school, and whichever way I play it, I get stares: If I don't restrain him, he pushes in front of everyone and people are thinking "bad mother"; if I do restrain him he screams and has a meltdown and I get the "bad mother" stares for that. Luckily Ds1 and Ds2 do queue properly.

Both my two were runners, sometimes in opposite direction, which was fun! They get to about 7 and it all gets much more controllable - still do it from time to time but they have a lot more sense and come back if I call them.

One thing that helped was having games where I would say how far they could run to - to the lamp post and back, to the end of the wall and back. That way they could still run, but they knew what the limits were. If they ran out of sight, it meant I would have to hold their hand (quite firmly if need be) for a couple of minutes. If they walk next to me they get lots of praise and my full attention even if they're obsessing about whatever the latest thing is

I ended up with a major buggy. - too big for the normal size ones but too much of a handful not to be strapped into something

Mine have the Little Life backpacks with the strap (mostly for DD1 (8) but DD2 (5) wanted one too lol). Dont use them all the time but try to preempt when she might get overwhelmed. For example we are off to a huge fireworks fireworks display/ funfair tonight so will be taking hers.
I much prefer the occasional strange look to living in fear of her bolting! She lives wearing hers as she can pretend to be a pony/unicorn so thats half the battle haha.

We use landmarks...run to the next lamp post, run to the red car, run to the gate of the park and wait etc. Lots of praise for doing it right. If its walking along roadsides, dangerous places and DS manages well then an extra treat is in order.

This only works if you get them listening in the first place. Shouting instructions once he's started running does not generally work for DS.

it depends on why they are running. if its panic or anxiety this is not likley to work so well.

We used to use lamp posts and such too. "You can run to"... this or that point and it seemed to help. Also in supermarkets I give DS a mission - find the bread and bring a loaf back of the usual type. He still runs everywhere, but generally does come back!

I heard an interesting thing on the radio with a book written by an autistic teenager (I am sorry I cannot remember the title) which explained that they ran off and got lost because they were always so uncomfortable and looking for somewhere more comfortable - if you are intending to go somewhere better you don't need to remember the way back! Doesn't actually help much in practical terms, but really helped me understand why DS might run off so much.

Thanks for all the suggestions. I'll definitely try the 'landmark' strategy to see if it makes a difference if I give him something to run to. I'd like to try the backpacks, but DS hates anything being attached to him (won't even wear a coat), so I can't imagine him leaving the house at all if I strap something on him. JKB185, was the book 'The Reason I Jump'? I have read that and remember the chapter about running off!

eatyourveg I admit there have been times recently when I've wished I had a buggy with me (stopped using one just before the summer holidays).

I actually rang the NAS about this today and they suggested trying to think about what causes the behaviour, or what happens immediately before he runs off, but the truth is there is nothing that preempts it. It's just something he always does.