It's Full Time - and we played the 90 minutes !

[mrsforgetful]

Well actually we only managed 75 minutes....but the assessment was finished 'early' due to 'riots' !!

There were 2 members of staff- not psychologists/paeds etc- so the purpose of this meeting was to 'see what we need'.

The highlight for me was their suprise that our school SENCO is also the Head (this has annoyed me since the year dot!) They agreed this would cause extra stress when you have to raise the issue that you don't think a school is doing all they can for a SEN child.

DS2 'tornadoed' through the door into the compact room- ans spotted paper and pens - then shouted 'drawing'- and drew a house!!!!!! I did not see this and when i was giving them the pile of letters/documents/drawings etc to 'back up my case'- i showed them the pictures of the houses he has been drawing for months- and that's when the aassesser showed me his drawing!

There wasn't much in the way of autie behaviour - mainly due to the compact room- he would have been 'worse' if the room was larger- he played with lego- and build many models od 'digimon'- so that showed his obsession with digimon nicely

They listened to what strategies i have devised and DH actually admitted he hears me telling him my interprtations of ds2's 'odd' behaviour....so he isn't just watching TV!!!

They commented at one point that parenting any 3 boys is difficult but when there are added needs it is much harder- so hoping that means they 'noticed'!!!!

Ofcourse they aren't the ones to diagnose- so i didn't go in there expecting a DX...they reckon they will contact school (grrrrrrrrr!) and the paed - also will see about organising a home observation (YIPEE!!!!! Christmas come early!)

Also due to the confined space noise levels got a bit high and they asked if it was like this at home-so again feel they had seen 'something'

Also raised the issue of my husbands 'struggles' with the whole ASD subject and are trying to find 'something' suitable for us as a couple as well as family as support- dh then said he wouldn't be able to get time off- they pointed out that they hadn't specified a time- so knew he was backing out!!!! They were quite sweet about it and promised him this would not be 'marriage guidance' in disguise - but more like him hearing from professionals all the stuff about ASD that i tell him- so eventually in theory i'd 'reduce' my research in ASD....and in time reduce the 'earpounding' i give him telling him all about it- as i'd not be desparately tring to explain it all! Makes sense to me!

The SADDEST bit was when they were asking thomas about school (checking out my moans!!!!) and he went from being cheeky and silly to hanging his head really low in his lap- he wouldn't look up. Body language !!!!

They reckon that they can offer us additional support from there and also hope to get an ED Psyc sorted...they were suprised that so far there has been no other 'professional' invited into school other than the paed and ds1 has had the SALT once and the Autism Outreach teacher once- so hopefully more will come our way- though i know the waiting list is long- but to be on it will mean i am being taken seriously!

DH has 'told' me to stop this essaY!!!! He can't believe i'm still 'at it'! (he's not seen my Meg posts ...has he Davros/Coppertop!!!)

glad it was such a positive experience .... brilliant

Oi MrsF, lucky I read all the posts here or I would have misssed this! I thought some idiot had strayed into the wrong section, then realisation slowly dawned on me about the title. Sounds like it was a positive experience and you sound quite "up". Those things can really make you feel like sh~t even when they're good. Poor boy hanging his head about school. Let's hope something TANGIBLE comes out of it. Well done, doesn't sound like you were intimidated or jibbering at all

FIngers crossed MrsF that you'll start to get the help needed...... ROund one to you I hope

Yipeeee! Well done, MrsF. I've been waiting all afternoon to find out what happened but had visitors so couldn't get near MN.

It sounds so positive. It looks as though they are finally taking you seriously. I hope ds1 starts getting some real help at school. Poor little thing.

It sounds as though you were really well prepared. They (the assessors) didn't stand a chance against MIGHTY MEG FORGETFUL!

Well done - am very proud that eventually you got yourself heard!

Hope that the outcome is positive!!

glad for you too mrsf

I feel drained and am now going through every shred of the meeting in my head trying to be sure that i didn't 'hear what I wanted to hear' and keep checking with dh- the boys are all back to school tomorrow- so i am dreading the possible and yet inevitable 'sighting of the HEAD!!!'

I am so stressed with it all at the moment that i am ready to reply to her with' YOU have no idea how hard it is to be a good parent to my boys,get them to school on time and then deal with 'The Fall Out ' and 'Meltdowns' at home following their day at school. '

Ofcourse i shan't say it!

Another thing that the clinic said was that the teacher should have been offering to speak in the classroom after school ideally weekly for no more than 10 mins- and for her to describe incidents and for me to 'offer' my 'expert' explanation and strategies- she said that it is terrible that the teacher has been discussing things in the class at registration with me (infront children) and after school infront parents.

I feel less high now...but as davros says it can still make you feel rubbish- yet can be positive.

I got very angry twice- and didn't cry! (usually anger causes tears)

If 'nothing' comes of this (or if its 18mt wait) then after easter i am going to start taking ds2 to see our g.p every 2 weeks- she is happy to see him in order to build a picture of him- and if she feels it is warented she says she will refer us direct to the District hospital - and the BEST bit about that is the main paed/specialist for Asperger's- has Asperger's himself!

I feel at the moment i have 'lots of fingers in many pots' so i must not 'give up'- though at this moment i feel that the meeting today was still not quite 'the right people' to speed things up- though by nature i am very impatient and want everything NOW!! (AS??? Ringing any bells ....my boys certainly cannot tolerate waiting...! - still DH says thats becuse i don't like it either....like he says they talk alot because i don't shut up....like he says they are disorganised/clumsy/'1-job-at-a-time' etc...get my point!!!)

Mrs F - did you post at 11.11.11 deliberately?
Glad it went as well as it could have done today - and understand how utterly exhausted you will feel now. Hope you had a stiff drink this evening!

Interesting point MrsF, that anger brings tears. I take every opportunity to remind professionals (when I see them apart from our own appts) that, often, when parents "behave angry" they "feel upset" and they should remember this. Ho ho about the Paed being an Aspie, I think mine is too or I think he may have secret OCD or something, he's a bit odd anyway

Great news MrsF, sorry it had to take so much out of you, but it sounds as if it'll all be worth it.

JMB1964.....OH MY GOD!!!! that is sooooooo spooky!!!! I swear on my kids lives that i have ALWAYS (as long as i can remember ) had a genuine 'bad' feeling about 11.11....i have been known to avoid looking at digital clocks incase its 11.11 and if i do notice it i will not feel ok till its 11.12- if driving i have even held my breath till it changes!!! (see davros....i will get on famously with the paed ...if we get to see him!!!)

This is symbolic 'new start' for me....as after writing that post i got up this morning feeling much stronger and have decided to keep the image of ds1 with chin on his chest when asked about school firmly in my mind should i bump into the Head/SENCO !!!

So 11.11 has got a 'feel good factor' now!!!

(however IF anything bad should ever happen with 11.11 featured....then i AM TOTALLY TO BLAME!!!! )

p.s .....NOW can you all see why i feel Cr@zy!!!!?

Mrs F - at least you've got the ball rolling now. Sounds like you got a lot out of the meeting and hopefully see some professionals soon. I find that a bit odd - how can they know what you need if they aren't qualified?

Anyway I found my ds also quite well behaved at his first assessment due to the small room and interesting tasks. However after 30 mins the paed did mention autism. I think it is more subtle signs that they are looking for. However it looks like your ds made it pretty clear that school is a problem.

The family support sounds great if your dh agrees to it.