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Could you read this description of DS?

13 replies

AltogetherAndrews · 01/11/2013 18:51

Hi, I have posted about this before, when he was younger, but was wondering if any of you would read this, and tell me if it sounds familiar? I'm a bit concerned, but not hugely, however, if there is something there, then maybe I should pursue it. I don't know.

Ds is 5, in Primary 1. He is lovely and bright, but these are the traits that worry me:

He cannot cope with loud noise, particularly when there is a crowd, so school sports days in the gym, school concerts and parties. He gets hysterical, and wants to leave immediately. When he was younger, he disliked singing, except mine. When at play group, he would stick his fingers in his ears and say stop singing when the group were doing nursery rhymes. Also not great about hair dryers, hand dryers and Hoover. He is fine with other noises though.

Seems particularly fascinated by some textures.

He can generally cope with changes in routine, but can have huge meltdowns when he is disappointed, which can go on for a long time!

Poor fine motor skills, he has been referred to occupational therapy by the school over his handwriting. His drawing skills are far worse than 3 year old dd.

Obsessive interest in trains, which is showing no signs of weakening. He would rather have an adult train magazine than a childrens comic. Has other interests too though.

He memorises dialogue from the tv and books that we read him, and then uses them in conversation. His speach can be quite mannered and adult. A friend asked us why he has an English accent, despite being Scottish! He often fakes laughter, and is more likely to speak to adults.

He's not good at playing with other children. The nursery referred him to speech and language as they said he shows no sign of playing with others, and queried his level of understanding. At nursery, for the whole two years, he was quiet, didn't join in, and didn't follow any routines. The Salt found that his understanding was actually well above his age, but that he didn't initiate any conversation. He does play with his sister, and not just alongside her, and is just recently starting to talk to others at school. He makes good eye contact, and is affectionate. He seems to understand others emotions.

Sorry that was long!

OP posts:
jellyrolly · 01/11/2013 19:09

Hi AltogetherAndrews, I'm not sure what you are asking here.

If your DS is being seen by an OT and SALT, what is their feedback to you?

AltogetherAndrews · 01/11/2013 20:14

Hi. I suppose I'm asking if I should be worried? Some of the time I think that maybe he has Aspergers.

The Salt said there were no issues for them to deal with, but asked to refer him on to Psychology department, and some other team who offer support with social interaction, but that was in the spring, and I haven't heard anything. The OT have him on a waiting list, but haven't seen him yet.

I suppose I want to know if the things I've mentioned mean I should chase up the psychology referal. Or whether I'm worrying over nothing?

OP posts:
Parietal · 01/11/2013 20:22

If you are worried, chase the referral.

jellyrolly · 01/11/2013 20:41

I'm very much in favour of assessment and would chase it up myself. It is such a huge and complicated area and all the different experts will inform you in different ways. It is worrying and takes a really long time but, in my opinion, is the right thing to do.

I have one NT son and one Aspergers son and I would say I have the privilege of knowing my little Aspie much much better as a person because of all his reports and assessments. I used to think I was a bad parent because I didn't understand him but thanks to the teams of experts I actually do understand him a bit now.

Your DS sounds like a great little personality, I love the English accent.

2boysnamedR · 01/11/2013 20:47

Yes chase the referrals worried or not. If you have been worthy of referral then he should be seen. Let the professionals do the worrying for you. A lot of things you say reminds me of my nt oldest son who is very academic but it's a part if a bigger picture. Your son seems to be having some social problems so there's no harm seeking some help for him. It can't hurt. Social stuff sent a big deal to younger kids but it gets harder work when they get older so think its like a insurance policy - there if you need it later

AltogetherAndrews · 01/11/2013 21:07

He is a great personality, he makes us all laugh such a lot!

Thanks for all the advice. I think I will chase up the referral, part of my uncertainty is because DH isn't keen. He worries about him being labelled, and doesn't see any problem. He gets quite defensive when the school raise issues, because one of his older sons was diagnosed as epileptic during primary school, and was ostracised in the small village we were living in at the time. But I want to do the right thing for Ds.

Thing is, most of these things are traits I see in other family members, but with Ds, they are just much more so, if that makes sense. So I don't know if DH is right, and there is nothing to worry about. But I think you are right, and I should let professionals make that decision.

2boys it's when he is older I worry about. He is happy now, but if he is still struggling as a teenager, he'll need help.

OP posts:
jellyrolly · 01/11/2013 21:24

My DH was difficult to start with, different reasons - he is a teacher and sees the worst (and best) in children's behaviour. I felt like I was being as patient with him as with DS, he gradually came to his own understanding. Typical man, he listened to the professionals but not to me! In the end he said himself, it's the labelling that will help our DS through school in the best way possible.

Anyway, the point is you are worrying so why not start the process and see where it leads. Many children have some traits but not enough to require a diagnosis.

LuvMyBoyz · 01/11/2013 21:27

Yes. Get everything you can in place now for when he's older. I am a secondary SENCO and have known two late-diagnosis pupils with ASD who have needed alternative provision whereas all those who came to us with a diagnosis are coping well. Pupils who manage in the family-like ethos of primary school are put under immense pressure by the business-like ethos of secondary school and fail so fast it's hard to work out what's happening.

AltogetherAndrews · 01/11/2013 21:36

Right. Am going to do it. He has a parent's night next week, so I'll get the school's feedback, and then I'll chase up the referrals.

I think I need to remind DH that a diagnosis, if he gets one, doesn't change who he is. And we don't live in the little village anymore, so the issues DSS had, shouldn't happen.

Thanks to you all!

OP posts:
LuvMyBoyz · 01/11/2013 21:42

Let us know how you get on. Best wishes.

2boysnamedR · 01/11/2013 22:40

Well even if did get some of dx you don't have to share that with the world. If you was starting hrt for example you might want to talk about it - or not. It's really anyone's business and school have no right to discus it with the world.

But it might yet all come good so don't think too much about diagnosis, just start with the referrals - good luck!

AltogetherAndrews · 02/11/2013 00:10

Thanks x

OP posts:
PolterGoose · 02/11/2013 09:25

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