Babysat for a NT child the same age as Lottie and .....

[Thomcat]

God was it weird.

I mean I know deep down how things might be if Lottie had one less chromosome but I've never really felt it punch me in the face, over something soooo small.

This litle girl is in Lotties preschool and is 6 months younger, they'll also be going onto Primary school together this Sept.

We were left on our own and were playing together for a bit before bed. It was so weird -she was having conversations with me, then we did some practice writing so she could leave her mummy a little 'I love you' letter and she was joining the dots and then we did some more practice writing so I wrote the number 3 then she copied me.

But it was the putting to bed bit that choked me really.

I said 'right come on babes, bedtime' and she just jumped up, ran upstairs and we went into the bathroom.

She took the little stool out, stood, brushed her own teeth and put herself into bed, choose the book and lay there while I read it. It was all so ....easy, so....normal!

It just felt like a punch in the face watching her calmly brushing her own teeth.

Lottie can just about brush hers but it's all so much harder. I have to carry her upstairs and into bathroom, sit her on the loo so she can brush, move all the things she'll throw, put toothpaste on brush, think of a million things to get her to brush then eventually get in there and brush them myself with tears happening now, then hold her over sink in my arms while she rinses which is more me splashing cold water over her mouth while she's tucked under my arm, then I have to stand her against me and wipe her mouth then carry her to bed.

I know this ..performance, is nothing new to all of you, and i don't really know why I'm posting other than to say...

Fucking hell, soemtimes you realise that the smallest things that you do every day, without really thinking about, really are so, so hard and exhausting.

I just sat down after and thought, bloody hell, how do we get through the day and remain sane some days?

God, sorry, what a long post over bloody teeth brushing!

aww If it helps I dont do the com[parrison thing anymore. I do always think how much harder little things are though and i worry about ds and neglecting him and things being different for him.

It is hard though love I know it is completely corny but I always think, well at least penny is happy and healthy and she has a good qualitiy of life. It doesnt really matter if she is 'normal' or not. We just all have to get used to that

I'm fio btw

Oh TC - of course you feel like that over teeth cleaning. It's the 'little' things that churn up the big stuff.

Hugs, and hugs and hugs......

yes, you do an amazing job. i don't know how you stay sane. it takes a special person to do all you do every day.
i think you probably felt worse because that little girl sounds particularly well behaved. my son doesn't have any special needs but i can tell you he doesn't go to bed like that.
last night he was supposed to be brushing his teeth, it took me 10 minutes to make him go up the stairs and then when i looked he had gone in the bathroom and smeared my lipstick all over his face. he then moaned and groaned while i tried to get it off. he's 7 btw.

alan i like your new name

lol @ TC's toothbrushy rant...rant away girl!

LOL at the name change Fio

I don't usually compare either, it's just sometimes it smacks you across the chops.
Like you I also think the 'well she's happy and healthy' thing and you know a bit of what I'm like @miss Bloody Positive Bollocks', but every now and then we all get a reality check, sometimes it's small, like this teeth bruishing business' and sometimes it's much, much bigger. Thanks for the hug though mate - and you Blu

Festiveface - that made me laugh and feel better, thanbks

TC ikwym about feeling shocked by simple things. with thomkitten, she'll develop her skills over a long time and you'll just be used to her being "different" to lottie..with another person's child you don't see so often, it must feel like a big deal. remember you don't need to always keep your chin up on here...rants/tears are all part of the deal on MN, x

Tc - I get it all the time - ahve a neice who is 2 months older than dd1 and what she is doing compared to dd1 is amazing. Even scarier - things I see dd2 being able to do. EG DD1 can't dress herself - but she helps - pull shirts down - shoes and socks help etc. DD2 at 20 months is starting to do those things. The other day I was stunned to see dd2 put on socks - properly. ( now I don't know if that is something they can/should generally be able to do at that age) BUT then I couldn't remember if dd1 could do it - so that spurred me on to work on that with her.

We get through cause our 'normal/usual' is just different to theirs. Reverse the situation and they would think the same. All the things you do with Lottie are what you always have done and will do iyswim - that is just your reality.

Sorry this is probably confusing but I hope you see what I mean.

It's hard when the baby siblings overtake. I realised with horror (and relief) the other day that ds3 (just 18 months) is far more able to communicate his wants and needs than ds1 (7). Frightening.

I find it realy difficult to be around NT children for too long (other than my own), especially ones ds1's age, even when I really like them. It sends me a bit fruitcake. Don't feel guilty about protecting yourself if it ever becomes too much TC.

How is your little one TC? Am I right in thinking she is 5m (it is another girl isnt it?) Sorry if you've mentioned this on another post but I find it hard to find time to get on here so dip in and out....