Help me with this nightmare.....

[helpmepls]

OK, have name-changed but am regular poster...

Life for many of us is a nightmare but it is getting beyond a joke for me. I just need to get some perspective.

I am facing:

(i) my third Tribunal in three years
(ii) my third LGO complaint in three years
(iii) the knowledge that there will inevitably be a fourth Tribunal after the LA names a school for secondary in Feb

I have had:

(i) To threaten judicial review three times this year and got legal aid on every occasion but I have had to take it to the limit before the LA backs down
(ii) DS1 out of school for six months so far with no help. I have been left to support him on my own even though everyone (save for the LA) agrees he should not be in school
(iii) To pay for a tutor for my son because the LA has failed him
(iv) To stop work so many times this year by income has more than halved

This year's Tribunal for DS1 is now listed for DS2's birthday and it is a week before our 20th wedding anniversary.

Now, DH's firm is being taken over which shakes his job security.

So, even though we have a lawyer acting pro bono and a leading barrister prepared to do the hearing for £750, we can't afford to pay for the fees for a barrister and any 'expert' that we will have to instruct to prove the bleeding obvious - DS can't manage with school.

I am now getting to the stage where I wake up in the morning and feel ok for about 2 minutes and then I remember what is happening and how I can't escape it.

I have to be upbeat and positive for everyone's sake but fighting all this seems like a bottomless pit for my money and I just want to run away.

Help!

I agree he has the right to an eduation - that's beyound doubt.

But I think part of the problem is that a permanent solution will need to be identified at some point.

It may be that you see home ed by LA funded tutors as a temporary solution but do you know and are the LA aware of how long would that solution would be required for, before a permanent solution was found - as there does not seem to be any out-of-home provision currently available that could be considered on a permanent basis.

And moving him from a home ed situation to an out-of-home placement will be a very risky undertaking at some point n the future.

So what you're asking for is a tempoarary solution (LA funded home ed) that will last for x months/years while a permanent solution (which doesn't seem to exist) is sought.

That's going to be difficult to get LA and Tribunal to agree to.

I don't think that just because the situatio is complex that there is 'no answer'. It may not be the answer you want but there must be some solution to this dilema.

Wet said "I don't think that just because the situatio is complex that there is 'no answer'. It may not be the answer you want but there must be some solution to this dilema."

I think she's right. If you're who I think you might be, our ds's are similar (I've changed names) and had to compromise.

Is there someone in RL you can talk to?

Thanks. I do appreciate your responses

But it is really not about compromise when there is nowhere to put him. Compromise would be easy.

There is nothing on the table, nothing to discuss or debate. There is either force him back to school when everyone agrees that shouldn't happen or this.

The latter is an option I can only accommodate because I have effectively stopped working so it's not like I am clinging to some tutor package dream. There is no one to compromise with.

Also, how can anyone say what the long term solution will be for him?

I have spent 5 years since he started school picking him up, squashing him back into school, fighting for more provision but none of it works.

Maybe the opposite to long term planning is needed - flexibility. In an increasingly rigid and inflexible system. Yes, that is really going to go down well.

I can't pretend there is a school for him when there is not. I can't pretend I've found another answer for him when I have not.

So, whichever way you look it costs money we haven't got again, until the next time.

Have you taken advice from an independent EP as to what sort of educational provision he needs?

My ds is 11 and in Y6. He has AS plus other co-morbids. Despite being on the gifted and talented register, he has spent the last year part-time in a separate room with an LSA as he is unable to access the classroom. He has had no teaching for at least 2 of the last 3 years.

Up until a year ago, I was convinced he could stay in ms if only he received the right amount of classroom support and therapies. I fought and fought and appealed to tribunal for what I thought he needed.

I commissioned OT and SLT reports and the scales fell from my eyes when I saw scores that were in the negatives percentile-wise. These reports also convinced his ms school he needed a SS. An indy EP report confirmed he needed an AS-specialist SS.

SS is by no means ideal but the only chance ds has of accessing any education. I could hs him, but he needs the structure and routine of going to school as home is home and school is school. So I found an indy school that would accept him, but it's a secondary school and will exceptionally accept him from the Summer term, transitioning from the Spring term.

All well and good, but he will still be left cooking and gaming for 6 months pt in his current school . Luckily my LA has seen sense and agreed to place ds at the indy, before the hearing.

So this is my compromise; your ds and your situation will be different. This is my solution for now, it may not be the right one, but it's the only one for me at the moment.

Thanks - he has a team of people supporting him and we have had all the testing done. This is what we have fought for over the last 3 years. At least two of those therapists are 'independent'

I think independent reports will tell you largely what you want to hear. If you were looking at Indy SS anyway, they will tell you if this is a good idea any clearly you felt your son needs school so this just confirmed mainstream wasn't a good idea.

I don't need to spent £1500 to be told that to be honest. My experience is that parents have to pay it to prove what they already know.

The school are 'onside'. I'm not so sure. They may have been helpful, but they're missing a trick now, as arrangement have changed.

He is still technically on-roll. That is likely to mean they are getting his AWPU + a notional share of delegated SEN funding. But this is mainly profit: he costs them v. little. If ds has a statement (presume he does) he is supernumerary anyway, so they're able to fill his empty place with another pupil, for whom they would get another AWPU.

I think he ought to be having 'alternative provision', with absences coded as 'educated offsite' and it's the school's responsibility to fund this, with any necessary top-up from the LA if costs are excessive. See this for 2013-14 arrangements. Like they do for a PRU, or a y10 pupil going offsite to a vocational or college course.

There is statutory guidance in alternative provision which makes it the responsibility of the LA.

Further, the statement is the responsibility of the LA and if the provision cannot be delivered because of a change of circumstances, it is only the LA that can change the statement.

Currently, they refuse to do so.

Their argument, unsupported by anyone, is that he MUST be reintegrated and they want to drag school into this as evidence of reintegration, however lame, e.g. School are sending out a TA so we are moving in the right direction.

School has stuck to its guns. This child needs to be somewhere else as this is affecting his health and everyone agrees an alternative placement must be sought. They have written this.

The LA just refuse to deal with the issue which has left it back with school.