Bombshell dropped

[sciencefan]

My child had a day at a new school recently and the head announced she thought they had learning difficulties. She mentioned spectrum. I asked her if she thought my child had autism. She said we are all on the spectrum at some level. She doesn't know if my child behaves as they did because of an innate genetic issue or because they have learnt behaviour.

Current situation is my child is at their second school due to older siblings being bullied and has spent the last two years in the class below their age due to the right class being full.

Our current school is assessing him to see if he is capable of moving up but the head has not replied to our email asking if a decision as been made yet. The suggestion they made a few weeks ago is not what we want to do (stay in current class then move to year 6 and do it twice).

My child keeps saying they are bored at school and we feel they are capable of much more, their behaviour can be silly because they are not being stretched and they are totally demotivated due to being in the wrong year. The teachers moan my child rushes his work but I wonder if that is because they are finding it so easy and the teacher could maybe give them more to do.

So, school who don't get back to us until we chase it.
We don't want to do what they suggest.
They seem unwilling to move DC into the right class as they say it is full (school can choose class sizes.)
Seem to not believe our DC is capable of more.
Need to work out if DC does have LD.
Taster school said DC was a year behind but did not seem to grasp they would be when they are being taught a year behind .

I expect I may be told maybe my DC is not as clever as we think but I would dispute that when I have done new work with him at home and he has got it immediately and my older child has just scored 98.8% in their 11+ test.

It will be really obvious this is "me" if you know me so I would ask that you respect the difficult and upsetting situation we are in and keep this private to the forum. Thank you very much.

I've read all the post and the only thing I don't understand is what has your older child's score got to do with anything .Surely that is two separate issues and it has nothing to do with it.

What age is your child and what year is he or she in at the moment? Is the head who suggested LD / spectrum at the second (current) school or at a third school you are considering moving your DC to?

I don't think the head should be using words like 'spectrum' after one day at the school (have I understood that correctly? It was after one day only?).

Could you suggest a compromise? DC stays in current year group but starts doing some work with the year above to see how they get on?

I'm not going to tell you your child isn't as bright as you think, but there does seem to be a big disconnect between what you are saying (picks things up quickly) and what the school is saying (possible LD). Do you know why this might be? Does your child struggle socially / behaviourally which might be why their talents are not being recognised?

wakeup - I wanted to make the point that I have other children who have done very well so I don't feel there is a reason to think this child wouldn't either. Having got his report he is certainly doing very well.

tumbletumble My DC is in year 3 and should be in year 4. It was the head of the potential (but definitely not now) new school.

Yes, just one day. She said he was engaged when he was doing the work. Her problem seemed to be she asked my child a question and the answered it and she didn't feel they were at the level for a certain subject their current school said they are.

Thank you for the suggestion of asking for more work. I have made a note and will ask.

I would agree my dc is immature emotionally and we have been trying to help them with that with no support from school at all.

With the greatest respect, its quite possible to have one very bright child and one nowhere-near-as-bright child, or one with LDs. It can come as a bit of a shock when this is made clear, because everyone tends to assume that their children will be largely similar intellectually, and if one is very bright, it can be hard to accept that another is much much less able, or even intellectually disabled in some way.

I would leave your 11 year old's abilities out of the equation entirely (although it is fabulous!).

Focus on what your younger son can or can't do. Is this an independent school, and are you in the UK? Can you push for a meeting with the SENCO, and get some indication of exactly HOW the school feels your son may have LDs? Is he behind the Y3s in his actual class, or simply behind the Y4s in his age cohort? Does the school use NC levels and if so, what level is your son working at, and what level should he be working at?

Could you go and speak to the class teacher, have a look at some of your son's books and get her/him to explain exactly how he is not on a par with the rest of the class? What is his reading age? Is that on a par with the class? Does he struggle with things like handwriting, which may affect his ability to complete work alongside the rest of the class?