How to make the case for home schooling?

[Laceyshoes]

Hi, I'm just wondering if anyone on here has home educated their autistic child and, if so, did you have any opposition from family over it and how did you deal with that?

My 3 year old DS is being investigated for possible ASD. His differences are very obvious to other children (though not to his dad or any other family members ). I've seen the way that other children react to him - bafflement and derision seem to be the most frequent reactions and he's even had this from one of his older cousins.

At the moment, he's at preschool three afternoons a week and he loves it there despite not interacting with the other children. It's a very gentle environment and as the staff-child ratio is so high, bullying is not an issue. However, I'm petrified of what's going to happen to him when he starts school properly.

I have ADD and probable aspergers and my schooldays were beyond horrific from reception onwards. I know DS is not me and that his experiences will not necessarily be the same as mine BUT my history means that I've got no illusions about the way a child who stands out in the wrong way will be targeted and excluded.

Reading threads on here about the bullying that some DC with special needs are going through has made me think that if DS goes to a mainstream school, it will be over my dead body. There are a couple of special schools in our area but I'm presuming that they're oversubscribed and probably cater more towards the DC who have the most severe impairments.

Anyway, I know that DH will not countenance the idea of DS being home schooled but as I've said, I feel very strongly that DS will struggle badly in mainstream school and I don't want to put him through it in the first place. Even if the bullying meant that DH came round to my viewpoint, it would require DS to suffer considerably first.

How do I make my case? I'm guessing it will be easier to do once DS has a diagnosis and DH can no longer claim that he's a typically developing child who is just a bit shy and slow to talk. Preschool staff and health visitor back up my beliefs about DS's likely condition 100% btw, so it really isn't just in my head!

Have you posted on the Home Education board on Mumsnet? If not, I advise that...they're very good there. Also look at the Education Otherwise site if you've not already done so.

In my experience the thiing which makes most people suspicious or derisive of Home Education is the "socialisation" aspect. Comments like "But they won't make any friends" and "Who will they play with?" are the usual.

The fact is that school is a very unnatural environment anyway...it's only been the norm for about 113 years...which isn't a lot at all!

Sticking 30 kids in one room to learn together just because they're the same age is not the be all and end all of education.

I suggest that you ask DH to look at some of the case studies on the Education Otherwise site...and also do some research locally...there will be some home education groups..or at least one which meet regularly to socialise. You will find children with ASD and other issues in those groups and children without any issues at all.

And tell him Katy Perry was home educated. normalising it will help your case...I worked at the BBC for a time and in my team of 10 creatives, 2 had been home educated. HE is a very good way to learn for creative thinkers.

And tell him HE is on the up...more and more parents are choosing it due to overcrowded schools and a general shift towards more creative thinking about education.

The options for home ed have increased over the last couple of decades.

1. MOST areas now have a home ed group that meets at least weekly.
2. Fewer formerly "middle-class" parents can afford upwards of £3k per term for private schools, yet want their kids to have a "traditional" education.
3. State education has for many, become incompatible with personal beliefs as the curriculum becomes ever more rigid. What moral values do you want your child to learn? Your own or the prevailing political parties?
4. Many believe that the current state education system is failing way too many kids as the numbers of school leavers who are functionally illiterate and innumerate increases every year.
5. State education has become increasingly "sausage factory" in it's approach at a time when the wider working world has become more flexible. never before have school leavers had to be as inventive & creative to get on the career ladder, yet the standard state education has due to the increasing grip of regulation, politicians personal pet projects and the NC become narrower and narrower in it's focus. For instance there is only one approved way to teach reading, which is crap for the 10% of kids who would do better with a different pedagogy.
6. None of the nations current leadership got there via the state NC, all were educated outside the state system. State education is designed to produce worker drones, not the leaders of tomorrow in its current format.
7. If your child does need extra intervention such as SALT, it may be quicker and easier to source it directly, rather than through the state system. The cost of "school" for these kids isn't in fact free, by the time you account for loss of wages for attending lots of meetings, potential Tribunal expenses etc it'll take to hold the state system to account.
8. Home ed doesn't have to be forever! You can switch between the two "systems" as it suits your child and family circumstances. For instance if I had my time again, I wouldn't have sent my son to school till he was 7, (a common age in Europe for formal schooling to start anyway).
9. It's now possible to team up with others for specialist tuition in foreign languages, or to do high school online etc. Technology has moved the educational goal posts, just as it permanently altered the adult working world.

Education otherwise has some great case studies and arguments for home ed on it's site. SN is only part of the picture.

Thanks so much jitney and bochead. I hadn't actually realised there was a home ed section on mumsnet! Will have a look to see if there are any threads about similar issues and will check Education Otherwise out too

I agree that school is an unnatural way to learn to socialise and definitely feel that it doesn't suit all children. Trouble is, that is a very minority view and my DH is extremely conventional. Still, I have nearly two years to come up with some convincing arguments Might leave Katy Perry out of it though as he can't stand her!

Oh, and online learning and joint tuition of some subjects sounds like a great idea especially as DC get older.

There are also some very good home ed yahoo groups. Some of these groups are nationwide - others are local. Also, if you are on twitter, there's lots of home ed tweeters tweeting away their experiences of home education.

I also found this blog Ross Mountney's Notebook absolutely invaluable and a major resource for me.

I home ed'ed for exactly a year. It was a challenging but immensely rewarding year for me. I wrote about some of our home ed'ing exploits here: School Trip Friday