He's done several schools already. He needs more help from a mainstream that has a specialist resource unit on site?
Why can't he spend time in that unit rather than 85% of his time in mainstream? Would he cope better if he spent 50% in the onsite unit where he knows everyone rather than being shipped off to a place that can't meet his academic needs anyway.
This sounds like a convenient solution for the LA, but not one that'll bring huge social or emotional skills benefits to the child tbh. Can't a member of the special school staff come and train his mainstream staff or yourselves in the emotional skills training he needs?
Do you qualify for the Caudwell charities ABA funding. This would allow you to access £2k worth of specialist ABA help (the equivalent of an hour a week specialist help and advice for a year). That might be enough to enable yourselves and school to deliver the support he needs. or could you fund something similar yourselves?
Social skills and emotional skills are behavioral - I'm puzzled by your resistance to this "label". Are you trying to avoid your child being ultimately shunted into an unsuitable (for your child) EBSD school or summat? Emotional literacy is something most kids on the spectrum struggle with.
Is there a "through school" that will be able to offer what he needs in another county? Can you move house to access it?
You don't sound 100% comfortable with what is being proposed for perfectly logical reasons. Your gut instinct as a Mum seems to be saying that your kid is being set up to be short changed YET AGAIN.
Mumsnet SN board is famous for helping you to think outside the narrow confines of "LA think" and to come up with inventive, creative solutions for even the most seemingly tricky cases. Often there is no right answer, just a best endeavors attempt that is a helluva lot better than the standard solution likely to be offered by the average LA. There are a lot of us whose kids do not fit the standard LA SS or mainstream provision here. It's a hard place to be, but the benefit of so much real life experience is VERY useful.
I'm a bit suprised at your response to Wet's well meaning comments. Often we hear things on here, that at first glance can be hard to hear, but that in hindsight turn out to be incredibly useful. This is the one place where you won't be treated like "just a Mum" who doesn't know their own child. That can be incredibly empowering if you take it in the spirit it's intended.