Please or to access all these features

SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Serves me right for opening my big trap! (RANT)

8 replies

hoxtonbabe · 15/10/2013 21:14

Earlier today i met with a friend whom is married, financially stable, lovely house, with 2 very bright under 5 year old daughters.

She asks about my boys and I explain the situation, that it is relentless, stressful, 2 tribunals literally being heard a month within each other, a JR, issues with little DS school and SLT, still looking for post 16 for the other and all the rest (she knows I am a lone parent, and I mean lone, not even respite on a weekend) .

What has really upset me are the gems like:

"you need to keep on top of your child's progress, you cant just leave it to the teachers" - Well if I wasn't doing that I would not now be in a position of dragging everyone to court, it is because i am keeping on top of it I am battling them all.

"You have to take time for yourself and concentrate on your life" - So I should allow my son to leave school with grades that will not even get him a job at KFC, not becasue he cant achieve those grades but becasue the LA and school have been unlawful. My DS did not choose to be born into this crappy SEN mess, I have total responsibility and when I had him I knew I would always fight tooth and nail for him no matter what, and I will continue to do this until I SEE FIT, and if that is until he is 25 then so be it.

"You need to only assign a couple of hours a day and switch off from your tribunal case" - Words fail me here, as anyone whom has been through the tribunal process with a particularly difficult LA or school will know that the amount of effort, research, etc..is incredibly time consuming, especially as you are nearing deadlines.

She also diagnosed my DS as not being on the spectrum becasue he is academically able - FFS!

If nothing else this has taught me to keep my trap shut from now on unless the person has experience or an understanding of the SEN system.

OP posts:
PolterGoose · 15/10/2013 21:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PacificDogwood · 15/10/2013 21:25

Oh, do rant - I hope it helps you a little to let off steam.

I have no experience of raising children with SN and I know how relentless I find the totally normal madness that is life with children, so truly kudos to you.
Like any good parent you are clearing doing the very best you can for your children under more than usually difficult circumstances.

Yes, keep your trap shut if you can bear it it'd kill me.
Or cut loose of unhelpful friends? Is this friend adding to your stress? Maybe you need to cool it with her?

I'll add Cake and Wine to the above flowers x.

Handywoman · 15/10/2013 21:32

Wine Thanks Cake Brew Wine

hoxtonbabe · 15/10/2013 21:37

Thank you Polter and Pacific...no more cakes please, even virtual ones, I go from one exteme to the other when things start to really kick off (thats why i have not been on here for a little while) I either do not eat for weeks on end, or I cant stop....this time its the latter and sadly it is an addiction to Macroons from Laudree and their coffee cake...I swear if the LA and school offered a box of macroons and this cake I will stop all legal action, lol

I will keep all my tales and woes to this site...at least we all understand each other and do not judge/say stupid things (well most don't)

OP posts:
RevelsRoulette · 15/10/2013 21:39

Oh gawd, don't people talk shit sometimes?
Thanks

frizzcat · 15/10/2013 21:46

Pop out and buy her a bag of carots tomorrow it sounds like the silly cow and used all hers

hoxtonbabe · 15/10/2013 21:47

I do try and put myself in their position as I think they just see it as some easy to navigate system and the LA should do the right thing if they have been breaking the law...Well yes in theory is should be that easy, but the reality is that it is not and will do everything to fight us dispite them being in the wrong...its a concept most people will not grasp or believe when we say this is the way of the SEN system, you get things like "well cant you complain to the head of the dept" or "why don't you just sit down with the headteacher and explain and they will understand and believe you" oh the best, "well once you have evidence from a professional they MUST take notice"

Can you imagine how many of us on here would never sniff the tribunals doors if all LAs actually took on board and implemented what the experts say that was favorable (or a true picture) of the child..I can only hope for such a day

OP posts:
hoxtonbabe · 15/10/2013 21:49

Grin at frizz

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page