Feeling sad. Any success stories with children with adhd doing well at school?

[InnitTogether]

I met with DS2's (year 4) class teacher yesterday. She wanted to warn me in advance of parents evening next week that ds2 is struggling this year. He made bugger all progress last year, but I had hoped that a change of teacher might help.

Well, so far it hasn't. He is still at the same levels he was at the end of year 2. Writing is illegible, sentences very short, the odd full stop, produces very little work. Reading seems ok, but he rushes so much he misses the meaning sometimes. Maths is patchy. Sometimes he knows some tables, other times can't answer 10+2. She gives him lots of prompts, makes sure he understands the task etc. I think she is pretty good tbh. But he just isn't learning much.

He is a fidget and a chair rocker, but it is more than than. The lessons just aren't going in .

Can anyone cheer me up with stories of similar children for whom it all came together as they got older? Please? I am really beginning to worry for him

Not children but an adult. One of my best friends...he and I went to drama college together and he found any academic work very difficult...also lectures were a struggle. But he managed...he got his degree mainly because most of the work was practical, dancing, acting etc.

he had struggled at school and had a wild youth until he found acting aged 18...he blossomed then.

He was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 28 after he'd been acting professionally for 5 years.

He's now the principal of a successful drama school in London. He's a good earner and in a happy relationship.

I haven't got any experience of this as a parent but I have from a teacher's point of view. I once taught a lovely boy (first time when he was in year 2), clearly ADHD and at the time when I first taught him just really struggling generally with school. He was capable but just could not focus at all and took to acting like the class clown to cover himself. I approached the subject with his mum who had also been worried about him but at that point didn't want to go ahead with assessments, we managed it within school as best we could e.g. instructions written down in small chunks onto a whiteboard, he could wipe off each one as he had done it, visuals etc. I moved year groups and ended up teaching him again in year 5, it was clear then that he was still struggling and had been getting into trouble more as he got older. Early on in this year he got a diagnosis and was put onto Ritalin (not every bodies choice I know). This really helped him to organise himself and focus on his work. He suddenly started to make great progress and stopped getting into trouble. He still had his lovely, funny personality. I found it lovely to watch him flourishing and achieving what he was capable of.

My friend is also on medication Jelly it helps him enormously. Not that it's right for everyone as you say.

Have you met the SENCO at this school to discuss your son?. Is there an IEP in place for him, is he already on School Action Plus?.

Has anyone ever advised you to apply for a Statement of Special Needs for your son?. I would seriously consider doing this for him asap as his additional needs at school are not being met.

www.ipsea.org.uk is a good website.

You are his best - and only - advocate here.

Thank you all for replying! At least I don't feel so lonely with it all.

Yes, we are in contact with the Senco, who is good, but busy. DS has visual and written prompts, fiddle toys, is sent to do jobs when he needs to move etc. They are good are praising him and noticing his strengths (pe for example, and singing) I think the school are handling him pretty well tbh. It is just the learning that is the problem!

The people that diagnosed him were not keen to try medication as we tend to manage his home behaviour quite well and he doesn't have outbursts at school, so they didn't think he really needed it. Plus he is rather short and small (which is odd as both dh and I are pretty tall), so we are anxious not to compromise his physical growth by gving meds.

I just wish there was another avenue instead of meds.

So no-one has seemingly suggested applying for a Statement from the LEA?.

You need to think longer term as well, secondary school is not all that many years off now. How would he manage in such an environment?.

No, no suggestion of a statement. He is not bottom of the class, just one ot two sub levels below average and not making progress. He did ok in infants because I think his natural 'smarts' compensated for his adhd. I think the cracks are beginning to show now though. I think the Senco would laugh if I suggested statementing - a friend of mine whose child has downs syndrome was recently refused a statement from our LA so they are pretty rare round our way.

As for secondary - I have no idea what he'll be like in a couple of years. His adhd has improved in some ways as he matures, so it is hard to know.

"I think the Senco would laugh if I suggested statementing - a friend of mine whose child has downs syndrome was recently refused a statement from our LA so they are pretty rare round our way".

The SENCO has not done her job if she has not suggested you apply for a statement.

LEAs often refuse statements on spurious grounds like you've quoted; I hope your friend appealed their crass decision. Unless you yourself apply for a statement you will not know whether you will eventually obtain one or otherwise.

All the children without exception that I know of with ADHD have statements.

Your son is struggling now and is not making progress. He will continue to struggle without more support given in school. Statements are also used for social and communication needs as well as academic needs. A statement is a way of obtaining that extra support and it is also a legal safeguard as well.

I could have written your post OP. My DS is 11 now and basically I cant see any major improvements with him academically in the last few years. He has ADHD (inattentive type)

He is on medication as it greatly helps him contol his emotions and also does allow him to have some attention during the day.

We had no issues with his behaviour at all so we really tried meds just to help him with school work but we believe it helps him even with things he loves, like football. Takes away most of his impulsivity.

We were also told that he wouldnt succeed in obtaining a statement so therefore didnt apply for one.He also had/has speech and language issues. His senco was great in his previous school and he got great additional support.

My main aim for him is (at the moment) is to get him through his school years as easily and as happily as he can.

I am reading with interest all the other replies that you have received.

^^ What Attila said.

You should be seriously considering applying for a Statement. The fact that the girl with DS got turned down is irrelevant as some LAs do not assess for a Statement without a fight. You need to give them a fight.

Anyone who tells you that you won't get a Statemnet is lying to you.

My ADHD-er is now in her 4th year of med school.
Mediated aged 6-14 yrs. Came of it, then went back on it and now is still medicated at nearly 22 yrs old.. Ritalin plus other stuff as she has a few other issues too.

Without the meds her attention span was (and still is) gnat like.. her behaviour was never really the main issue. She still doesn't need sleep, and is a whirling dervish but a juniour doctor in a year's time that has to be a good thing :D

Please apply for a Statement, and meds might also really be helpful ..not for everyone I know.. but might be worth a shot!

Don't know if this counts, since he was never diagnosed with ADHD ( But that was probably more to do with ADHD being underdiagnosed at the time, he had all the traits), but I have a very positive story about a family friend.

He had a lot of problems consentrating the first years of school, kept running out of class etc, but all seemed to improve at about age 10.

He went on to do about average in secondary school, didn't need any extra help anymore, then did A-levels and higher education.

Today he is married, has kids, a full time skilled job, a part time job and fosters troubled teens.

Still have insane amounts of energy ( as the list above testifies to )

*medicated
*off it
*junior
I must look at the page then typing..I can spell, honest!

Thanks again.
Medication seems popular then! Maybe I need to do some more research then? My instinct is no, especially because of side effects. I hate the thought of drugging ds - it smacks of controlling him to be compliant. I am not sure if he would even agree to take it .

Getting a statement. I am just about this. I just don't think we could garner sufficient evidence to get one given what I know. Not only did my friend get turned down, but also another little boy who at 6 can't talk, is only doing half days, and while on register in year 2 spends his school day in reception. I just don't think DS would get one given that he is in the classroom, and functioning - just not fulflling potential or learning at the pace I think he should be capable of.

Then there is the hope that things will come with time. But what if they don't? Jeez, I hate this.

Innit my son was diagnosed aged 7. Infants and years 3,4,& 5 have been a mare really. Little progress, lots of fidgeting and teachers who just didn't get the measure of him. He arrived in year 6 this term and it's been brilliant. He's grown up over the Summer, can talk more about how he feels and the difficulties he has at school (not a bad kid at home) and I think this has really helped him. His teacher is a bit good! Her t/a's are amazing and he's made progress already in the short time he's been in their class. His on SA+ (had statement refused, another story) and his IEP has far more effective additions in place than he's had in the last 3 years. He feels successful and knows he's making progress ... a win, win scenario. I'm hoping and preying it continues as getting him ready for senior school has always frightened the hell out of me. He isn't medicated as I do not believe the cons would out weigh the pros for him personally. I honestly think my son's prognosis is going to be good, no academic genius by any means, but successful in his own unique way. Good luck

Another medication success story here.

DS2 has been on medication since Y3.

Now in Y7 in mainstream school, really happy and getting on well.

About once or twice a term in primary school he forgot to take it. He didn't realise he had forgotten , but the teachers could tell by 9am. Without it, school is an uphill struggle for him and he learns very little.

He is also small for his age, but his growth is being monitored. He takes the medication after a big breakfast, has a small lunch, then eats a big meal in the evening after the appetite suppression has worn off.

Medication is not a step we took lightly. We trialled the methylphenidate after two years of waiting for him to "grow out of it", trying supplements, dietary changes & various behaviour modification strategies.

Thanks to you both. Bringing hope . Glad to hear that your DS's are both now doing well, that really helps. One with meds, one without. MadameSin can I ask why you chose not to medicate?
ThreeBeeOneGee can I ask how your DS feels about taking the meds?
Thank you

Sorry, just realised you were asking about academic progress too. He got level 5s and 6s in his KS2 SATs and is making good progress academically.

He still has ADHD, but with treatment, school intervention (junior and secondary schools both great) and increased maturity, is coping dramatically better compared to the debacle that was Foundation/KS1.

That is so great to hear Three. I want there to be a way of turning things around for DS.

He was willing to try taking the methylphenidate for 6 weeks, which is all I was prepared to commit to at the time. Once he realised how much of a difference it made, without doping him or dampening his quirky spirit, he was very happy to continue taking it, as it transformed school from a nightmare into an enjoyable learning experience.

The other side effect was that he was subsequently diagnosed with Aspergers. The untreated ADHD had masked this and made it difficult to spot, which meant that he'd been trying to function with both of these differences. The ADHD is now manageable with the medication, and the diagnosis of the Aspergers has led to more understanding and tolerance of his idiosyncracies.

Five weeks at a strict, formal secondary; no detentions yet and a son who loves school!

Well done you and your DS . A trial run sounds like a positive plan then. Maybe toes in the water?

Playing devils advocate here a mo....

I completely understand reluctance to medicate..the idea is scary.. however it's not a once only life time decision!

I can only talk about Ritalin as it is what works for DD1, but I also work with children in SS with ADHD, ASD etc so have a fair bit of experience of a variety of meds over many years.

Generally side effects are mild. Some children have reduced appetite so potentially can be smaller and lighter than their peers..however they are monitored. DD1 was always very light but is 5 ft 9 so if it stunted her height, heaven knows how tall she would have been

She was 6 when she trialled them..and she realised that SHE felt better...she could concentrate, no one got cross with her at school. She decided at 14 to see if she could manage without (and also had 'holidays') from meds when not at school. However as a young adult she actually saw the adult MH team and went back on them because, as she can now articulate beautifully, without them she is unable to filter out all the external stimuli that bombards us all the time and she can't perform to the best of ehr own abilities.
She has absolutely no doubt that had we not taken that leap of faith ..to try and give her a way to manage herself, she would not be now in medical school.

Maturity has helped to a degree, but age 6 or now, nearly 22 she still has, and will always have, ADHD and using meds to control it is no different to controlling any other medical condition!

INNIT the paediatrician that diagnosed my ds didn't feel his level of needs warranted meds - he definitely doesn't need them outside of school. I have thought about trials, but to be honest, I have been too scared of long term effects to go ahead. His current teacher has frowned on it, so I guess she reaffirmed my feelings. I love to hear how well other kids are doing on their meds, and it's great they are happy and able to achieve. We tend to hear the horror stories and they are the ones that stick in our minds, sadly. It's such a personal choice and I often wonder if I'm doing ds an injustice, but my gut feeling says no. DH has suggested we trial to see if it accelerates his academic progress, but I don't place as much importance on that side of his progress as I do being confident and happy, which he now seems to be.