I've finally got DD2's SALT report

[lougle]

I've sent a reply to the SALT, Paed and SENCO.

Basically, in a nutshell, all the things I say about DD2 were observed during the assessment, but they were deemed insignificant because school don't report difficulties.

Not necessarily unfounded Lougle. It doesn't have to happen for them to worry.

I remember school asking ds 'what do you worry about'. His list 'my mum shouting' and 'my mum crying' and 'my mum getting angry'. According to ds it looks like im an angry, shouty, crying mum!

I asked ds 'do I get angry a lot', ds 'no you never get angry, but I worry in case you do'! Same of shouting and crying (apparently he had seen me cry once when the cat died!)

I so wish I could send you my private SALT for an afternoon. She just 'gets' dd2 (the only one who does) and has been a total gamechanger for dd2 and her progress. Still it took dd2 till she started crying during spelling tests until school started recognizing problems with anxiety. Finally school are right on board but I've had to shell out for private reports to get this far. It is very wrong.

Maria, I've bookmarked that, thank you.

Claw - unfounded perhaps gives the wrong inference. I meant unfounded as in 'not based on fact', not 'unjustified'.

Handy, you're a sweetheart. I'll get there one day. I need to get a backbone, that's what.

You've got a backbone. You'll see.......

You've been quick and thorough and at some point you'll simply demand that someone at least looks at what you are seeing because once sentence and a risk of a is uncomfortable for you but your dd simply cannot do it for herself.

Sorry. That looked a little guilt inducing and I didn't mean that.

What I meant was that you will find the courage to do whatever you need to do for your dd and when you have done so once it gets easier.

It didn't induce any guilt that wasn't already there

I just feel for her. She was actually hyperventilating yesterday, because she had designed a booklet and worked so hard; then realised that the front cover was on the back and the back cover was on the front.

Once I explained it to her, she was distraught. There was a title, which would be on the wrong side of the page. I ended up photocopying it, then cutting the page in half, cutting off the title, sticking it all in the right place and photocopying it again, so that everything was in the right place.

I said to her 'sweetheart, you're breathing too hard. You'll get dizzy.' She said 'I'm really trying to calm down.'

She sounds so like my Dd3 lougle, she is really struggling at school now, in fact today I have posted the parental request for SA.

Most of her problems are caused by misunderstanding situations or things said by teachers. She has even gone so far as school refusal this term which we have always managed to avoid (just).

She has just gone into yr 6 and everything is falling apart.

You have to go with your guts on this lougle. Keep pushing the proffs and dont let them fob you off. Dd3 wasnt dx'ed until 9 but it was worth it in the long run.

Good luck

Oh well done you

You're amazing to stick your neck out for your DD like that. She really needs it.

I will see what this email brings. Even if it prompts the SENCO to chat with her teacher, it will be a start.

Good luck and be kind to yourself.

I recommend a diary of quirks and anxieties, the one I did was the thing that finally got me taken serioisly. Also there is lots of info out there now about girls being missed and under diagnosed. Us parents are finding it but the proffs are not and they often need a helping hand

tbh I would prioritise getting the money for an assessment by Margo. Not only does she specialise in girls and pragmatic disorder but she uses the CCC and she is authorised to use DISCO.

DS1 never had to do the ADOS or go for a second opinion at somewhere like Lorna Wing. NHS back up his diagnosis now.

A strange thing seems to happen when you consult someone like Margo or Daphne Keen and you are able to see your child through their eyes and even after years of 'all DC do that', dismissal and disbelief it is suddenly staring-you-in-the-face bloody obvious. Never underestimate how important this is.

I hear you, Keep. She's 160 miles away from me. What sort of price does she charge?

I believe margo travels. Lougle Would you qualify for legal aid?

Because if you do you coukd request a SA, appeal refusal and get Margo on legal aid.

Hmm....let me google.

It would seem not

DH earns a low wage, but because we have children we get tax credits. Our gross income is within the threshold, but our 'disposable' income is above the threshold, because we get the tax credit uplift for DD1 due to DLA.

Anyway, I doubt I would feel comfortable using legal aid when I know that DD2 is not (at this time) eligible for a SA.

Have PM'd you Margo's costs.

Thank you, all received.

Earlier today I was taking them to school and I said 'come on, we're late'. Now late, in my book, is 'I might struggle to get a parking place and we may not be there for the doors opening.' Late as a technicality is 'the door has closed again.'

DD2 said 'oh do we have to go through the office? Our teachers may mark us absent, DD3.'

As we were driving along DD2 said 'oh we're really absent now!'

She's obviously conflated 'absent' with 'late'.

It's just not normal to do that, surely?

Lougle, with all these things it absolutely IS normal, in some cases. I can imagine dd (5) doing that kind of thing.

And that's what makes it so hard and is why you need to keep a record.

In the same way that all children 'stim' to an extent, it's the ones who have a particular pattern to it or recurring behaviours wrt it that need investigating.

This might be a cute one-off, but we know it is actually a part of a bigger picture.

Feeling your pain there, Lougle. People are always at pains to explain away the things dd2 does/says. In isolation they seem like a one-off or 'hangover' from her previous difficulties. As Starlight says it's part of a bigger picture. As dd2's Paed says, it's the specific differences in the use and interpretation of language.