Proposed Statement - can they say this?

[Sahkoora]

Just reading through DS's proposed statement and noticed something I wanted to check. I have a brilliant advocate who is going to go through it all with me next week and make sure everything is suitable and above board, but this struck me as odd:

"lf DS has been aggressive, he must always apologise and accept his consequence. At times if he is sent home from school, that he experiences this as an unpleasant event and not one which he would wish to repeat."

Surely they are talking about illegal exclusion here? DS has been frequently sent home from school, but they usually make a pretense that he is ill before they ask me to come and get him.

No tribunal panel could possibly let that go through, not even one with a dodgy judge (sadly there are a few).

Oh, I don't know, AC would probably think it was absolutely fine.

Sure, but you'd have no problems raising to the next level on the basis that the judge was insane.

Or whatever the legal term for that is [hconfused]

thlconfused

I give up.....

I've seen it tactfully described as "not entirely well" ...

Wednesbury unreasonable is the legal phrase you're looking for

Sahkoora, I don't think it matters that the EP said it on her report anyway. OK, maybe it would benefit your son to be more compliant with reasonable adult direction. It certainly would my DS. But the fact remains that despite my having tried to get him to 'accept adult authority' via all the normal methods, because he has ASD-type special needs he doesn't get it quite the way NT kids do. And the more anxious he gets, the more he will seek to control the situation and the less compliant he will be!

So if a goal is to get your DS more compliant with adult requests at school, what strategies need to be in place with regard to keeping him calm, understanding what's coming next, avoiding unexpected change, etc etc? And how can they develop his social skills and understanding to the stage where he can understand that the adults at school are there to keep him safe and help him learn, and he therefore needs to co operate? The episode you described going into school sounds like the total opposite by the way.

Sorry for the long waffle. Have you read the Explosive Child by Ross Greene? It explains very well in the introductory chapter that kids generally want to do well if they can. Therefore most kids will be pretty compliant most of the time if we guide them in the behaviour we consider acceptable, sometimes backed up with rewards and consequences. If a kid (like your DS and mine)currently lacks the skills to do what's being asked of them, the answer isn't ever more of the same. It's working out what skills are lacking and helping to develop them!

Sorry, epic post. Hope it helps!