What to ask for in an IEP

[Levantine]

My DS1 who has a dx of asd/ADHD was last year opting out of all activities in the classroom and being left to read in his own a lot of the time. Then he would come home and say he was useless, wanted to die, hit me etc. Camhs got involved and came to school and drew up a plan of action with them. He still has no IEP

This year he has a wonderful teacher who has got him engaged with all class activities. He has even started writing.

So. Tomorrrow I have parents evening and Senco will be there too. The class teacher is doing everything I could hope for, and his TA is fab too.

Ds still gets anxious though, strangled me again today and tried to run out of school. I am just at a loss to know what to ask them for given that he is achieving academically and is happy enough (seemingly) at school - he is actually quite popular

Any ideas?

It sounds like he needs work on identifying his anxiety levels and developing coping strategies that are appropriate.

Thanks starlight, I think you're right. Any ideas for making targets SMART? or should I not worry about that? was trying to reply earlier but kept struggling to load the message as the site kept crashing!

I think you need to find out about what makes him anxious in school.

You need to keep a record of his anxious behaviours at home. Describe them in a log and do an ABC chart. You should be able to google them.

School should also keep one for a couple of weeks for behaviours like trying to run out of school and others. The purpose is to identify the nature of his anxiety.

At home we are doing a scale for ds for him to monitor his anxiety and frustration. It has 1-10 on it going from green to red. We give him examples of number 10 (the world explodes) and 1 (he has a bruised bit in his piece of fruit) and get ds to rate most of his anxieties at around level 3 or 4 (i.e. he makes a mistake in his drawing and has to start again, someone pushes in front of him in a queue).

We are not placing a value on 3 or 4 or denying his experiences of them as being unbearable, but trying to give him a sense of proportion to rationalise them a bit better iyswim.

However, I would be wary of suggesting his IEP states he must be on scale 3 or 4 80% of the time however as it can cause adults to get anxious and tell him to 'not be silly' if its ever on an 8. What that would need is a discussion about what an 8 should really be if 10 is the world exploding iyswim.

But consistent 'use' of an anxiety scale might be a reasonable target.

Once you have done that, you can teach appropriate responses to a level 3 or 4, such as a 'tut', and you can have fun with practising the level 10 which is screaming and jumping around.

YOu can then move on to an action for each level 3 or 4, such as 'telling a teacher, telling the boy off for queue jumping, asking for a different piece of fruit or simply eating round the bruised bit etc etc.

Ooh I do like your anxiety levels thing Star, eg 1 for a bruised bit on fruit and 10 the word explodes! Very useful tool for self-managing anxiety which I hadn't heard of before

Starlight, thank you. I have been meaning to do that at home since reading about them somewhere else on here. So what I am thinking is that yet again I will have to push for more professional involvement. When I first went all bright and chirpy to talk to the SENCO I left in tears and it was only when CAMHS came with me to school and made pretty much the same suggestiosn that I had (couresy of mumnset natch) that they took me seriously.

So my explanation of the above is going to do FA I think. I am feeling really nervous now. DH woud have gone but he was up late last night choosing music for ihis dad's funeral which is on Monday

Sorry, I know I sound defeatist, but it is so hard to explain to them what he needs when he seems fine most of the time at school. Perhaps if I get them to start really doing ABC when he hurts other children that would be a start

Because basically, if I suggest what Starlight did - which sounds excellent, I don't think they will do it.

Okay, so explain what you want, and then offer to make the resources.

His IEP can be that he uses his 'scale' simply for 1 session a day (perhaps a session where he is generally less anxious so that he can be supported in recognising 1s and 2s. The target can be that he is able to show an adult where on the scale he is 5 times during that session and you can create a tick box with number that said adult can tick. Agree a starting date and that the tick box will come home each day. If they like they can have two running consecutively so that they have their own records too!?

You can do the ground work for the scale (and tell them you will) of teaching him how to use it, and you will provide the scale, and the tick boxes and the frigging IEP if you have to. Make sure they understand you will make certain it happens by doing it yourself support them wholeheartedly in this.

The class teacher might be onside!?

If they say they can't do it, ask them what the barriers are and suggest you brainstorm together to overcome them FFS!!

I can do that. And I do really like his teacher and think she will be on board, so am hopeful that it might not be too bad

Just to update. Our new fantastic teacher is implementing all the recommendations made by CAMHS last year, so there was no battle. Our school is phasing out IEPs in favour of provision maps. No idea if that is a positive step, I would guess not. He is getting some weekly one to one with the SLT and the Senco said he could have art therapy if he needed it, but actually I am not sure that is right for him.

So what I take from all this is that getting CAMHS- involved last year did make a real difference. It was right at the end of term so I had no idea if school had taken it seriously but it seems they have.

Thank you starlight for reminding me of those techniques as I had been meaning to explore them at home and will keep them up my sleeve