After school club difficulties, need help with a plan please

[claw2]

Apologises for my multiple threads today, this is my 3rd. I have a meeting tomorrow with school. Although CAMHS will be attending, and social worker (to end her involvement). I find, I am expected to come up with all the answers. CAMHS and social worker will no doubt be happy to sit and nod at progress and not add anything meaningful about ds's difficulties!

I signed ds up for after school club one day a week (climbing). My thinking was so school could be fun and enjoyable, if ds was doing something he enjoyed there and not all negative.

1st week, I arrive at 5pm to pick ds up to find him in tears in the reception area. Receptionist told me had hadn't joined in, got very upset at the start and had to be removed. He had been sitting in the office for an hour an half.

I spoke to TA and offered to go with ds to after school club to settle him and then I could slowly withdraw, rather than ds just giving up. He said that wouldn't be necessary and he thought ds would need some support and he would sort this out.

2nd week, having not heard what had been 'sorted' I turned up at 3.30 to again offer my support if something hadn't been sorted. Ds approached his TA about after school club and was told it had been cancelled. Lucky I did turn up then to take ds home!

3rd week, I turned up again at 3.30 to find ds in tears and refusing to go to club. TA was telling ds that he would go with him for the first 10 minutes and ds was having none of it.

Anyhow I explained to TA that ds needed time to process things and offering at the last minute to go with ds, AFTER ds had become upset wasn't going to work. I asked him to prepare a plan, setting out exactly what will happen so I can prepare ds and then ds might not get so upset and join in.

He probably wont. If done correctly ds could enjoy climbing club. Do I give up and just not bother sending ds or be proactive and put forward suggestions, if TA doesn't come up with a plan?

(sorry that was long)

If you really want to get rid of social worker forever, ask them to fund a carer 'so DS can access after-school activities like his peers'

Local offer

Noooooo! at the moment they are not providing any services and have absolutely no role to play and do nothing but to pay a home visit every now and then and say hello and goodbye. They have been nothing but a hindrance (not this particular SW, she is lovely, but useless) I don't want to give them an excuse to stay involved, she will be saying goodbye at the meeting, even though that would probably would send her packing, if it backfires, I couldn't bare it!

School seem very reluctant to accept my offer of help, even though they are offering none of their own apart from 10 minutes. Yet, they are happy for me to sign up to help out on school trips and other events, whats the difference?

The difference is that other parents do that too...
Machiavellian way to solve problem wd be to set up a parent help rota for club & volunteer lots

Btw, I've lost your link book thread & had couple of ideas. Basically that since the recent awful case, i think schools are now terrified of taking any parents word for it re allergies/ food phobias/odd diets etc. so maybe don't be hard on them for that bit, esp as ds's school file will likely still have some old adverse comments about 'mum'.

. OTs might be too hard to get hold of and not respected enough for their (not inconsiderable) medical knowledge. Think you need school nurse or dietician (or your GP,
failing that) to write out your common sense plan on headed paper & fax it to the head, so school feel their backside is covered as they are 'taking medical advice'

Oh well had the meeting with school, they are going to put a written 'plan' into place for after half term to give ds access to climbing club. Which will also include giving ds 5 extra minutes to get changed, so the club hasn't already started and he has missed the instructions of what to do/expected and also increased TA involvement. So I cant complain, poor TA his giving up his time after school to help ds.

Social worker is now closing her case (yippee!) and written in the minutes of last meeting 'The meeting ended with SW making commendations to Claw2 for her painstaking effort in supporting miniclaw2 to receive his statement which enabled him to get at place at xxxxx school and SS will formally end their involvement with this family as there are absolutely no concerns with Claw2 parenting'

I think that is as close to an apology for all the shit they have caused that I am going to get!

More useful than an apology

You could always get it tattood on your a*se so you could moon at everyone who made life unnecessarily difficult....

my arse would have to be quite big to fit that on, you know me too well!

You know, you could tattoo it in tiny letters, so they have to get good and close to see it...

Beemom

I know I shouldn't complain Polter as they are now dealing with it. Just a shame, that ds has to fall flat BEFORE they do something. Just makes it much harder in the long run.

Ds was looking forward to club initially, he now doesn't want to go.