How much ongoing communication is reasonable to expect from school?

[cardboardcactus]

Hi, I wanted to ask people how much ongoing communication they think is reasonable to expect from school? My DS is 9 with AS, which was diagnosed 10 months ago. He's in year 5, on SA+ and I'm finally going to draft the statutory assessment request this weekend. I have on paper all the support the school intends to put in place which includes sensory breaks, sessions with a learning mentor who will work with him 1:1 on certain issues, etc. I met with the class teacher 2 weeks ago and the sensory breaks have not been out in place, they were working on it. Also according to DS he has had only one session with the learning mentor, although he might have forgotten. I'd like regular feedback on those sessions, ie what issues they addressed, as I feel it would be useful for us to know at home. I asked yesterday but was told I'd find out more on target day in a couple of weeks. I feel I want much more feedback in general- still don't even know if sensory breaks have been implemented- especially as DS is having a tough time in school at the moment both in terms of school work and socially (often sits on his own during break time coz he's 'not allowed' by certain kids to join in their games). I get no feedback re this at all and they're doing nothing about it. School refusal is starting to happen again, he's clearly very unhappy at school. Just wondered- what is reasonable to expect, and how much regular communication do you get from school?

A wee bump coz I'm desperate to know if I'm just a demanding cow or not!!

I would say you are being a demanding cow cardboard, why shouldn't you be given this information?

Saying that....IME it was either home/school book which only seemed to outline anything negative so I asked if we could correspond by email...which CT only wanted to do weekly because she was too busy (which was understandable) which then got intercepted by the HT as me sending long weekly emails and asking questions about Ds's support basically badgering the CT , this was then changed to meetings arranged in school time and now it is a chat with CT before or after school in front of ds other parents and peers which again isn't ideal.

In a nut shell the school don't want to communicate, and the only time they give me any information about what goes on inside school with Ds is if they occassionally drop themselves in it and have to cover their arses. The only information we have is what Ds tells us and we have been told to disregard anything Ds says by the EP.

I now use Ds's behavior at home as a sign that all is not well, from experience if he is reasonably relaxed when he comes out of school all is well (we hope!)...if his anxiety levels rise and last longer than 1 week I arrange a meeting with the school, so far this year all has been ok and I'm hoping to see lots of improvement in his school work on the upcoming parents evening If not I will be wanting to know why (whether my 10 minute slot runs into an hour or not).

Oh crap! that should say NOT being a demanding cow!!!

Sorry!!

Thanks, okthatsweird, I must admit I was a little taken aback at first, then realised what you meant! Yeah I'm just totally frustrated by the lack of communication. DS is not in a good place at the moment regarding school and it's at times like this that i think communication is really important. If successful strategies were in place and he was getting on fine then of course i wouldn't feel the need for so much info. But that is far from the case and i have the feeling that many of the strategies they agreed to they're not even doing, but they refuse to communicate about it. Grrrrr!

Errr yeah...again sorry about that Send off the statutory assessment request, then see what happens. You could always send a letter in about your concerns to the SENCO copying in the HT and request a meeting to discuss communication and why it is even more important right now....something clearly is not as it should be.

I have noticed that CT's seem to call the shots in my Ds's school, and HT backs up what they do or don't want to do. They just don't seem to realize the effect this has on Ds and the snow ball effect it has on other things too.

It is frustrating when you want to help and you can see the change in your Dc. The way I see it is if a school were doing what was agreed they would be only too happy to communicate this with us (unless it's my Ds's school because it's a secret ) and see us parents as a part of their team rather than a PITA.

Send the letters cardboard

For all the faults of my sons last school I have to say they were great at communication.

We had a home-school behaviour book - although this varied in efficiency depending on the teacher and got a bit negative at times.

The SEN TA was posted on the door every morning so I could pass on information - especially if the boys were particularly stressed or worried about something.

If there was a problem at school she either rang me or came and found me in the playground usually before the boys were let out.

The HT also manned the entrance gate into school most mornings meaning we could have an informal chat if needed (could also arrange a private meeting if needed to be more formal). It was a very large school but I think she knew every child and their parents by name & not just the troublemakers like mine.

Thanks oneineight, that sounds like very good practice. Can I ask how old are your boys? My DS is 9 and not sure if you just get less info as they get older, although with sen I know different rules apply. I know I'll never get as much as I want, coz ideally I want to be a fly on the wall! But I feel l'm being fobbed of as a difficult parent for asking for more.

Mine are ten - we didn't really need much communication before Year 4 for them but then due to lots of behavioural issues it was essential. I don't think ds2 would have survived most of Year 5 without it. I agree with you though I would love to be a fly on the wall to see exactly what is happening in the classroom.