Possible assessment for dd5 sorry this is long

[duckiedaddles]

Dd is just 5 and has just started in reception. We have a meeting with SENCO and her teacher on Friday. Concerns were raised at her pre school about her lack of interest in socialising and the SEN teacher who came to see her then (at 3) said she didn't have any concerns, that she was extremely bright and under stimulated by the setting, and that it was clear she could interact with other children appropriately if she wanted to.
Dd went to nursery last year at the school she is now at. The same concerns were raised but they didn't get anyone external in to look at her.
I have just had a call from SENCO saying DD had been refusing go outside when told to after lunch, was trying to get back to the classroom and was standing in the noisy lunch hall with her hands over her ears. She was taken to the nurture room where she instantly cheered up and settled in to play.
I know they are going to suggest she is assessed for possible ASD, which I don't have a problem with. Be quite glad in a way as has been going on for so long I have almost made myself ill with it. I just don't really know what to expect from the whole process. I also wonder if it is worth getting a private assessment done?
She is definitely interesting. Seems completely uninterested in other children to play with. Plays well with adults, board games etc, spends a lot of time playing alone, taught herself to read and reads voraciously with excellent comprehension. Has never done lining up or sorting, keeping to even a basic routine us a problem for her and she is impossible to discipline as she doesn't seem to give a hoot about authority. She is very funny, enjoys words and wordplay, but does sometimes seem one step removed from reality and often has to be physically touched if she is playing or reading and I need to get her to answer a question.
My gut feeling is that she will change a lot over the next two years while her social skills catch up with her academic intellect. Tbh I don't really know why I'm posting, just wondering if anyone is in a is,air boat or has any useful things to ask of the SENCO/tips re the process. Thanks and sorry for rambling.

That's really helpful, thank you. I will try and keep a diary of all kinds of behaviour. That's also really helpful re a developmental paediatrician, had been wondering whether or not to go down the gp route but I think I might have a chat with them as well now.

Hi duckie I have a Dd who is 11 and has a diagnosis of Asd, she presents like Aspergers though.

She wasnt diagnosed until age 9 because the school didnt agree with my concerns.

Her quirks didnt really become a problem until she went to school and the dining hall was a massive problem for her.

I think if the school are voicing concerns it would be worth followimg it uo.

I agree with keeping a diary, ours was really helpful.

Good luck

Thank you INeed. Sounds v similar in that at home DD is just a bit quirky, endearingly, sometimes frustratingly so. All the adults I know are totally surprised when I mention my/school's concerns, saying oh she's just really bright and bored, she'll snap out of it. I will definitely follow through any school suggestions just to see if there is a reason for all this. Thanks again.