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Autism and animals I'm so worried

14 replies

Izzywizzy75 · 06/10/2013 21:57

My Ds has HFA dx. He is 7. Recently we got a kitten as I thought he would be able to bond with her and havr some other company and both my dc's were really keen.he adores her most of the time and they sit together often he cuddles her for long periods. It's quite touching. He is besotted with her and needs to know where she is at all times. He will always insist she is with him. The kitten is not afraid of my Ds. However some times he doesn't like her around and will close her out of a room and worryingly he keeps picking her up by her neck and dangling her, or swinging her by her neck. He squeezes her so tight she makes a awful squeeling nice. I'm very concerned that he is doing these horrible things to her I keep telling him it's not nice and that nobody must ever hurt an animal like nobody must ever hurt him or anyone else. He just seems to not take it in and changes the subject. I've read some awful stuff about what children who hurt animals become, my child has never been abused. Anyone else have anything like this. I'm really worried that he may seriously hurt the kitten. He doesn't seem to realise it is wrong. He is not bothered by me saying she will have to go to another home or that he may kill her. I know he loves her though. Is it the hfa or is there something really serious going on. I should never have googled it.

OP posts:
zzzzz · 06/10/2013 22:15

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ifcatshadthumbs · 06/10/2013 22:29

I agree with zzzz, your son should not be left alone with the kitten it's madness that you are allowing it to continue.

You either need to strictly supervise all interaction with the kitten or re home it.

coppertop · 06/10/2013 22:43

Kittens tend to be very unpredictable. You never quite know when they're going to sit quietly or leap out at you ninja-style with their claws ready. If you're a child who likes things to be 'just so' then it can be very unsettling.

If the kitten is being hurt then it's not fair to let this continue. It's not only unfair to the animal. but also to your ds. Sometimes loving a pet just isn't enough.

Mummyoftheyear · 06/10/2013 22:49

I'd rehome the kitten immediately.

Izzywizzy75 · 06/10/2013 22:51

My Ds is never alone with the kitten and I am not letting it happen. I'm going to take her back - thanks for your helpful comments

OP posts:
zzzzz · 06/10/2013 23:00

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defineme · 06/10/2013 23:04

Hi, my ds has asd and we've had kittens....I wouldn't rehome straight away. It sounds like they have a precious bond already.

Obviously supervise closely.

He needs to be taught how to shoo him away without hurting him and needs to be made aware that he could kill the cat and what that actually means. I would acknowledge the cat can be irritating too and then take him through how to deal with that.

The posters responding seem to think hfa kids can't learn stuff, which is absolute nonsense. lots of hfa kids have pets too.

You know how your ds learns best.my ds gets stuff by being repeatedly taken through stuff step by step. Eg every time he seemed to get to the point he has had enough I would take him through the routine of how to shoo it away and we'd practise at other times too. I would lodge the routine firmly in his head. Social stories, people in authority telling him like the vet, how to handle kittens videos on youtube--whatever you think might work.

I think you're being a little hysterical. Serial killers may well start with animals, but they've not usually had loving childhoods and they are very very rare.

Lots of kids are rough with pets, siblings and so on...they just need to be taught the right way. Your ds may take longer, doesn't mean he won't get there.

zzzzz · 06/10/2013 23:08

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

coppertop · 06/10/2013 23:12

"The posters responding seem to think hfa kids can't learn stuff, which is absolute nonsense. lots of hfa kids have pets too."

Um, you do realise that we have children with HFA too?

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 06/10/2013 23:16

No one is saying he can't learn - just that he can't learn with a tiny kitten right now. It is putting the kitten in far too much danger. Sadly :(

defineme · 06/10/2013 23:29

Yes I did realise that, I'm sorry I was hasty in my words about other posters, in a rush to offer my very differing opinion and was offensive instead..sorry again.

I was just imagining my ds having a bond with an animal and then it being taken away...The op says she is supervising and it's not happening because of that, so I thought the send it back now was hastyand adding fuel to the op who has been letting her thoughts about 'something really serious' going on run away with her.

We do have very extreme situations in my house sometimes, and I have often thought there is no answer, and then eventually something turns up and we work our way around it..I was hoping for the kitten, op and her ds that this would be one of those.

coppertop · 06/10/2013 23:36

If the worst were to happen, and there later came a time when he did understand that his actions were the cause of it, this too could cause further issues for him.

When he's ready for a pet, an older cat might be a better option. It was far easier to relax around our cat when he'd gone past the kitten stage. He had an established routine and you could usually tell where he was going to be and what he was likely to be doing at any given time. A bit like ds really

coppertop · 06/10/2013 23:37

X-posted.

No offence taken here, defineme. :)

claw2 · 07/10/2013 07:38

We have cats and dogs, usually ds is very loving and gentle with them and regards them as his best friends. However, at one point he did take his frustration out on the puppy on one occasion.

I told ds that if he did it again, the animals would have to be rehomed. Of course hfa kids can learn, but not at the expense of animals.

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