Ok, so today I broke my own rule and kept Dd3 at home when she refused to go to school, the Senco is worried and thinks we should involve camhs :-(

[Ineedmorepatience]

Sorry for such a long title but so much is happening.

Dd3 hasnt settled back at school this term. She is terrified of being in yr 6 because that means she has to go to secondary school soon.

She hates her new teacher, who shouts and is really not very nice.

She says she is depressed and told the senco the other day that she cant go to secondary.

She flatly refused to go to school today, I just couldnt send her, she is so sad

We saw the senco after school and she suggested seeing the GP and contactimg CAMHS to see if they will see her without a rereferral, They diagnosed her Asd and said they could help with anxiety but we havent needed them up to now.

The senco also suggested that she might need a smaller secondary but she has no statement and we are only in the catchment for one school.

She also said she is very worried about Dd3 and feels that she is close to falling apart.

I really dont know where to start and have to work at least part time so cant HE.

You dont have to answer this, I just needed to let it out

So sorry it's so hard for you at the moment. As a secondary SENCO I would visit home/primary to star building a relationship with your dd and set up a long-term transition programme...any chance of your SENCO trying this? An Ed Psych might be a better person to help your dd with her anxieties if CAMHS haven't been able to do this. I hope things are better for you soon.

They diagnosed her with autism without meeting or speaking to her?

Would flexi-schooling suit your daughter? Could she manage a few hours/days so you can work. If she knows she'll be HE for a chunk of every week she might have the inner resources to cope with time at school.

Why don't you at least apply for a statement. Even if you get the SENCO on board by saying that the only way to get a smaller school is to get a statement?

No wisps we had 12 months of going backwards and forwards, they were very thorough but Dd3 was very settled in a new school when she was diagnosed so they didnt feel they could offer her anything.

Thankyou luv I am seeing the senco at the potential new secondary next week.

I am torn between dragging transition out too long and not stressing her even more at the moment. Meeting the senco on neutral ground is a great idea though.

Yes lougle I think I will be doing that, even if we get turned down at least we will be doing something!

velvet I am going to look at reducing her timetable I think. My Dp works shifts and I mainly work mornings so we can probably go down to half time if need be.

Thankyou

Thankyou polter Dd3 is doing a program at school about anxiety but I will look at the books for at home.

I am not sure what to do with regard to extra visits as we went this week to look round and it totally freaked her out

The sen department at the potential new school is really good and the school itself has a good reputation. Her primary is a feeder school and they already go there quite often.

I knew she was going to be stressed out by this but once again I underestimated the level of reaction

I think we might go for the reduced timetable for a few weks to give her chance to regroup!

I feel really sad though, that my lovely Dd who was so happy all summer has been reduced to hiding under her duvet and refusing to go to school and cubs which she loves, in just 3 weeks!!

So worrying for you. The one positive is that she seems able to tell you at least some of her anxieties. Is it anything particular about the local secondary do you think or just the fear of leaving primary. It is tough that she has to contend with a teacher she doesn't like as well as the fear of what comes next. CAMHS are supporting my two although getting through to the actual, constructive help takes a long time so worth getting a re-referral as soon as you can. Take care.

Thanks one it is much appreciated. She hasnt been able to tell me reasons why she is so scared but yes you are right it is a break through that she has been able to at least say that moving schools is what is frightening her.

The new Teacher is really not very nice and its not just Dd3 that is having problems, I have been egging the other parents on to have a moan so its not just me!

I am goimg to contact CAMHS on Monday and see what they say.