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DD2 school photo arrived. Anyone else's look like this?

17 replies

ClutchingPearls · 04/10/2013 09:40

DD2 has social and coordination problems currently waiting for community paed for autism/dispraxia. School are reluctant at this age to get involved Hmm but have knowledged her issues to a more minor extent so far.

She is in Reception, last night she came home clutching her school photo.

She was unable to recognise herself and thought one of the sample pictures might be her. She isn't looking at or anywhere near the camera, her expression is confused. She's sat hugging herself, lop sided. So either she's been made to sit like that to stop flailing arms/movement or she's scared. And to top it off she has a red mark on her face from where she's obviously hit herself.

I've never seen such a sad picture of her. I know I should get over myself and be thankful she's there and they've managed to get a photo but frankly I would have preferred them not to have taken it or not printed it. I'm in tears about it, every other parent was smugly showing thiers off and I had to hide DD2s, I don't want to hide her I want to be proud, I am proud of her. But that photo just sumed up her school experience up to now.

Am I the only one to have a photo like this?

I was glad she doesn't recognise herself, I've rung the photo company who have agreed for either me submitting a photo that they will print up identical to the school ones or go back in and take a "natural" shot of her.

OP posts:
claw2 · 04/10/2013 10:57

All of ds's school photos, even the ones I have taken on his first day, he is looking uncomfortable. The only one I have of him in school uniform where he looks comfortable and has a true smile on his face, is one of him holding an eagle during an animal visit to school.

But ds is like this in general, in most photos he looks uncomfortable, no natural looking ones, unless he is unaware that the photo is being taken.

Is repeating the process again a good idea if your dd finds it uncomfortable?

2boysnamedR · 04/10/2013 11:02

Oh that does sound sad :0( my sons photos capture him - clothes a mess and trousers falling down but he is happy in them. I always have to cross fingers it's done before lunch or he would be covered in food too!

Strongecoffeeismydrug · 04/10/2013 11:31

When ds started at as add resource I was disgusted with the school photo they sent home! It was just a whole head close up, he had actual tears rolling down his cheeks and he was so distressed he had his eyes closed and his eats covered!!
The staff even had a laugh about how bad it was!! Hmm.
I would rather them have sent nothing Hmm but I kept the sample and sent it to his SEN caseworker to prove how they couldn't meet his needs. He was moved to a special school not long after and his new school photo is displayed on the room wall showing his beautiful smile, his mischievous personalety and he is clutching his favourite teddy GrinGrinGrinGrinGrin

pannetone · 04/10/2013 11:33

ClutchingPearls school photos of DD who has selective mutism and HFA always have a 'rabbit caught in the headlights' look about them.(And no way have we ever got a smile.) I don't want to display (or buy) a picture which shows how anxious she is at school. I have bought the whole class ones, which at our school they take in the summer term, because DD likes to have the photo and how she is looking isn't so noticeable in a group!

Your idea of submitting a photo that the company will print up sounds fine - were you planning to take it off her in her school uniform at home? Then she would have a starting school photo. As claw2 says I'm not sure getting the photo company to come in and take a 'natural' shot of her will work - sadly with DD you might have to wait a long time to capture a relaxed, natural pose in school.

bigbluebus · 04/10/2013 13:07

Over the years I have had many photos of DD through school where I thought "not much effort went into that, I could have done better myself". DD is in a wheelchair and turns her head a lot or falls asleep when bored/hot and we have had pictures of her looking the other way or with her eyes shut. The have nearly all been from a well know national school photography franchise and are not cheap. We just don't buy them if they are crap and if we want a picture for Christmas/posterity then we take it ourselves.

This year said company was not able to get into her school until Nov which school felt was too late to reap the rewards of a %age of the takings for people to get their pictures in time for Christmas, so they used another company - a proper sole trader photographer. We had 2 sample pictures home and in one she is actually looking at the camera with her eyes open and is a good picture of her. We have ordered it for the 1st time in years.

I guess it is more upsetting for you as it is her Reception class photo so it kind of marks an occasion but I'm glad to hear that the photography firm have offered you a solution. If you have a decentish camera and can set something up at home, I think you will get a better picture as your DD will be more relaxed and you can take as long as you like and snap as many times as you like until you get something you are pleased with then pay about 4 times the price to get it printed up as you would have done if you'd used Snapfish

Jacksterbear · 04/10/2013 13:29

Oh, that's sad, OP. Sad. DS missed his last school photo as he was too anxious to take part and had a giant meltdown. I agree you might well get a better (and much cheaper!) shot if you do it at home, when you can pick a "good" moment!

Jacksterbear · 04/10/2013 15:49

P.s. that wasn't meant in a "just be grateful you got a photo at all" kind of way!

MedusaIsHavingaBadHairday · 04/10/2013 17:38

I have NEVER bought a school photo for all the reasons above :/
DS2 can't smile naturally.. he tries to copy (now he is a teen) what he thinks is the right face shape..and it's awful.

I got the first ever real natural smile on my phone the other day... (his Dad was prodding him to make him laugh). He's 16.....

LuvMyBoyz · 04/10/2013 22:15

And us Medusa...ds is17 and we have bought our first ever school photo because he actually has a natural smile instead of the toothy grin he puts on for the camera. It was one of 6 proofs (!) so at long last the photographer actually recognised a false smile and kept going until ds relaxed a bit.

MariaBoredOfLurking · 04/10/2013 22:26

Get the company to do a nice one, as you said, for the wall. But buy the duff one as well. It'll be worth its weight in provision if you ever end up at Tribunal and they ask for a photo.

MariaBoredOfLurking · 04/10/2013 22:28

And sorry Sad DS1 is well into KS2 now but I still cry every time the photos come home

sneezecakesmum · 05/10/2013 20:24

DGS has cp and his first nursery photo made him look like something from a pre war medical book...I won't elaborate Angry Needless to say we didn't bother to order.

The last one at nursery they made an effort to engage him with bubbles and the photo is adorable! It's totally possible to engage even the most reluctant child if the photographer makes the effort. Sometimes they don't even think of the effect it will have on the parents.

FriskyHenderson · 05/10/2013 20:31

We have a selection of crap ones and try to care so much. There's many with his "fake smile" which quite frankly is the same expression he makes as he's pooing (not that the photographer knows that), a few scowls, two siblings ones where they are crying because he's just punched them. Mind you DD's reception photo looks like she's terrified the camera is going to steal her soul - she's hiding behind her hands Hmm

Last year we dressed them up in uniform at home and got a friend to take some nice ones.

sickofsocalledexperts · 05/10/2013 20:50

At my boy's special school this year the photographer took such care and effort, with toys and fun items on top of the camera etc, plus one of those rapid-click mechanisms that paparazzi use to capture every millisecond even when the subject is moving - he pulled out all the stops such that every single parent got a smiling, looking into camera, sitting still photo (and it is a school for very severely autistic kids). I believe some photo shoots took up to half an hour, but he just would not give up on getting a decent ohoto. I would highly recommend that every special school hire him - name is hugh thompson.

ouryve · 05/10/2013 21:52

We were given a picture of DS1's class at the harvest festival, yesterday. (I didn't even know that had happened, because DS1 didn't want me to, but that's another matter!). DS1 is at the back, looking at his feet.

CheeseToasty · 06/10/2013 20:28

Our school did photo's last week and if we wanted a sibling one we had to go in with them in the morning. After quite a few attempts and a long que of impatiant parents and children the photographer said he would photoshop them, taking the smile from an earlier picture...he ment it too.

bochead · 06/10/2013 22:00

DS refused point blank to take part in the class photo last year. Happily trotted off for yet another day in internal exclusion for it too.

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