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What do I do about this?

9 replies

neverputasockinatoaster · 03/10/2013 17:23

DS is struggling at school this week. He's tired because he isn't sleeping because he's scared of the dark..... He's also struggling because the moon on a stick I was promised before the summer has not materialised and he is struggling with the lack of support.....

Today his teacher came out to see me (He's lovely, DS thinks he's ace even if the teacher is only about 12 in my eyes!). He told me about a mini meltdown DS had today. Whilst telling me he also let slip that they'd had a theatre company in today and they'd decided that DS might not cope with it so they'd found other tasks for him to do......

My issues are that 1) there was no mention of this in his home school book so he wasn't prepared in advance for it.... supposed to give us advance warning of when things are 'different' where at all possible. I very much doubt the theatre company rocked up this morning, knocked on the door and asked if they could perform.
And 2) They removed him from the activity without giving him the chance to take part....... If he'd been prepared in advance he might have enjoyed watching Treasure Island and if he didn't they could have let him sidle off to read a book......

So, do I write a letter that says I appreciate that they felt he would struggle but to point out that if they had prepared him in advance like they agreed they would he might have benefited from it.... And to remind them that they are supposed to go through the timetable for the next week with him on the friday so they can plan for any differences. And to point out that this is not the first time this term they haven't prepared him for something. And that if I know I can help with the preparing............

Or do I just seethe quietly and smile sweetly at the very lovely 12 year old that teaches my son........

OP posts:
cansu · 03/10/2013 17:50

was the meltdown related to the theatre group issue or was it about something else? If it was because he wanted to watch the performance then yes I would mention it and ask that he is prepared for it and given the chance to join in. if it wasnt then I would possibly raise it in a different way as they may have been trying to help him by providing another activity. I always look at the intention behind the action when deciding how to approach something. I sometimes get stuff wrong with my dc myself! If you think the intention was wrong then yes I might raise it.

claw2 · 03/10/2013 17:55

Write and continue to smile sweetly.

StarlightMcKenzie · 03/10/2013 18:00

Write in a neutral tone for recording purposes so if it continues you have a log. Also reiterate what was agreed.

neverputasockinatoaster · 03/10/2013 18:10

Meltdown was over the task he'd been given instead of the follow up to the theatre group. He was making a presentation and got a message on the computer screen he didn't understand........

My issue is that he might have enjoyed the theatre group and I feel he was just excluded because he might not like it and might be 'difficult'....

And dear lord yes I get things wrong with my DS all the time.

I shall write. I have to sort out a meeting to review his IBP anyway.... I've been through it with a highlighter and picked out all the things they're not doing......

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PolterGoose · 03/10/2013 19:03

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neverputasockinatoaster · 03/10/2013 20:11

maybe him meeting the performers before the performance for a heads up on what to expect, then agreeing an exit plan.

Y'see this is what we do all the time at our place...... if we have a theatre group in we gather the children together that might be a bit worried, anxious, scared and we get them to meet the actors - first in normal clothes and then in costume. One amazing chap got into his costume and make up whilst talking to one of our very insecure little girls so she saw the transformation and thus knew there was a really nice man under the 'baddie' outfit...... Then we sit the children we know might be afraid etc at the end of a row near an adult they know and trust.....

But we're only 'requires improvement' so we must be doing it wrong.... DS's school is Out standing so we should learn from them.....

Thing is DS wasn't in the least bit bothered about missing the show so it looks like I'm making a fuss over nothing......

On the plus side I have been asked to have a go at a presentation for the class about ASD.... Not specifically about DS but just this is Mrs X and she's going to talk about Asperger's as some of you may know a friend like his and this is how you can help them......

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neverputasockinatoaster · 04/10/2013 14:55

Oooops!!!Blush

I may have been a weeny bit passive aggressive in DS's home school book this morning....

I put in a bit to say he was really proud of a piece of work he'd completed...

Then I added -

Any changes we need to know about for next week? Then I can prepare DS so he can access all activities.

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PolterGoose · 04/10/2013 15:51

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neverputasockinatoaster · 04/10/2013 16:58

Ooooo look - here's the Home School Book and here's a list of activities for next week....... Grin

Sadly they all seem to be watching a DVD next Monday.......

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