possible aspergers dd 4yo

[OnceUponAThyme]

hi.
my daughter is 4, and is in nursery for another year as we decided to defer school entry due to the advice of the educational psychologist.
the decision to defer was made due to dds social and emotional development. she was finding it hard to interact with her peers and she finds it hard to control her emotions and reactions. she has a few mild sensory issues and needs a little extra support such as roleplaying to help her understand how some social situations work.
she has no issue with routine. her imagination is impressive, complete with imaginary friends and worlds. she is such a funny wee thing
she receives extra teaching in nursery as her academic side is very advanced. her number and logic/problem solving skills are beyond her years and she loves learning facts and new information. she does show a slight fixation on certain subjects and is an encyclopedia on some things.
I know her nursery workers feel she shows signs of possibly being on the spectrum, ed psych mentioned aspergers but it's too early to know as dd is making progress socially and enjoys interacting with other children (to an extent ).
I've a brother with aspergers and dd is completely different to how he was at her age. but they are different personalities.
I'm think I'm really looking for someone to say this is what their child was like or that they recognise this. I myself am aware that dd may not be neurotypical but am reluctant to label it until/if she needs assesed.
I find it hard sometimes to explain what she's like, and I know my friends find her very adult in her manner. which is at odds with her emotional maturity. think I need to stop rambling, these possibilities are fairly recent and I'm a bit confused.

Hi OnceUponaThyme.

I have no great wisdom here but I do understand what you are going through - my dd is 4 and shows some autistic signs but does not yet have a clear diagnosis.

As regards aspergers/autism presenting differently in girls, there are some really good books about girls on the spectrum and how they differ from boys. I just looked on Amazon - there were some interesting ones including by Tony Attwood. Statistically I think that girls are likely to be diagnosed somewhat later than boys.

Have you thought about having her assessed. I think most LAs use the ADOS assessment. That might at least help you get extra support if she needs it in the future?

I find this section of MN very helpful indeed.

thank you for replying, I'll definitely have a look on amazon at those books
with regards to assessment, I've been told that she won't be properly assessed until she is 7ish at least, unless she starts having behavioural issues. the ed psych is involved (distantly) and will help when transition to school begins.

shamelessly bumping

EP can only assist re additional educational needs, this person is certainly NOT qualified at all to diagnose ASD.

Entry to school has already been deferred so I would get the ball rolling now with regards to having an assessment. I would ask your GP to now refer you to a developmental paediatrician.

Has anyone mentioned the word "Statement" to you re her social/communication needs, particularly the EP?.

This link may also be helpful to read:-

www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/autism-and-asperger-syndrome-an-introduction/gender-and-autism/women-and-girls-on-the-autism-spectrum.aspx

thank you, I'll make an appointment with the gp and ask. I had mentioned my concerns to the hv but got told not to bother until she started school.
it just feels like everyone says they agree there are grounds for investigation and then tells me not to do anything. so I'm basically sitting on my hands worrying what to do. which sounds stupid.

even just reading through this forum is helping me know what I can do to push at things to get this on a roll.

oh, and statements were mentioned but not explained. her nursery manager has told me they have made an individual plan for her, for goals to achieve but it's unrelated I think. sorry if I sound clueless, my mum said my brother had no real support so this is something she has no experience with. and my husband is just reaching acceptance with the deferral.

I will reply in more detail when i have more time, however yes im nodding my head at most of what you have written about your DD, My DD is now 11 and was diagnosed with Aspergers when she was 4, she didnt have any significant behavioural issues, what they have told you about waiting til she is 7 is rubbish! push for a referral :)

IPSEA's website is very good at the whole statementing process and there are model letters you can use:-

www.ipsea.org.uk

You can apply for the statement yourself, you do not need anyone's permission to do this. You will need to write to the Chief Education Officer of the LEA and give them six weeks to reply. To my mind your DD needs a statement.

Individual Education Plans (IEPs) are basic and sometimes not worth the paper they are written on. Such targets need to be SMART - specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time bound. It should also be drawn up termly and with you present.

You are truly her best - and only - advocate.

Hi, I have a Dd with a diagnosis of Asd (autistic spectrum disorder) She fits the profile for someone with Aspergers.

She wasnt diagnosed until she was 9 bit it was obvious from very early on that she was different to other girls of her age.

She is highly intelligent but struggles terribly with social skills, friendships and quite a few other things.

I agree with other posters that girls present very differently to boys with Asd/Aspergers and would also say that every child I have met presents differently. There is often a common theme to their issues but they are never alike.

I would ask for a referral to a developmental paediatrician or to your local CDC (before she is 5)

She sounds amazing by the way

Good luck

thank you so much again to everyone, the ipea website looks really helpful.
it's good to hear that other wee ones are like her if that makes sense. sometimes it feels a bit like other people only see her issues and don't see her as she is.
I'm becoming armed with information from reading more, and now I know that the age thing is rubbish, I'll be getting this started.
what was said was right. I and her dad are her only advocates. I should have looked into assessment a bit more instead of accepting what I was told. better now than later!

Hi Once, my DD is 4 in a few weeks and only started nursery this term as we've worried about how she'll settle. She presents in much the same way that your DD does - and we have wondered about whether she is highly individual or if there is something more. Nursery have asked us in for a 'chat' next week. As I expected they have picked up on some 'flags' and are suggesting a SN person comes in to observe her. They describe her as very bright - excellent with numbers and words / spelling, amazing memory and recall, but struggling with fine motor skills (e.g. using an open cup, scissors), following instruction and social skills. She likes to watch other children but prefers to play alone (which she can do for an hour or so), has fixations (chickens at the moment) and also has extremely limited diet and bowel problems (won't poo on the loo and suffers constipation). She also flaps and sort of goes completely rigid when excited. I don't know what to think really - I hope you get some answers for your DD.

hi, my dd has poor fine motor skills as well, we try to encourage things like threading beads and play doh play etc.
my dd's subject of choice at the moment is either dinosaurs or whales. which aren't exactly entertaining for other kids if she's just talking facts and not playing. she will play, but isn't the leader in playing, more copying the other girls and boys.
we had a period where she was a certain type of dinosaur 24/7. it was exhausting. does your dd pretend to become a chicken or is my dd just a bit different
I have noticed a bit of excited or stressed flapping. she seems to control it outside and then "lets go" in the house. after a day at nursery she will come in, cover her ears in her room and make a humming noise to "make her brain better". it's like she's shutting off for a bit, but only ever in the house usually, occasionally if shes overwhelmed she'll do it in nursery/the park.

Hi,
Yes she is a chicken - when she went into nursery today one of the staff said 'good girl' when she hung up her coat; she just said straight back 'not good girl, good chicken'. She looks at herself in the mirror trying to persuade herself she has feathers and corrects me if I say hand or arm, with 'wing' . The other children apparently got upset that she was calling them all chickens so she has begrudgingly agreed to call them children as long as she is a chicken. My DD is also wiped out after nursery and zones out - I think it really exhausts her.

I hope your chat goes well with her nursery, she sounds so adorable
my dd was insistent she was a carnivore and some of the other children were herbivores. luckily no actual biting was involved

and thanks to the advice, Ive made an appointment with the gp and her nursery are emailing various reports so it will support a referral.
I'm also looking into getting her statemented, my husband is looking at information and resources on it, he agrees this is for the best. I think he finds it hard (as I do tbh) but we're agreed on our forward plan.