Does this child have an EBD?

[sleepyhorse]

Hi I'm after some advice about a friend's ds1 who has recently turned 4 yrs old. He is persistently and severely hurting other children. It has been going on for a while and in my opinion he is getting worse. On Sunday we were at a playground and he stabbed my son (who has a language disorder) in the head with a stick, then bit some random kids on a bouncey castle and just kept going like this all afternoon pushing and thumping etc at whoever he could. What annoys me is his parents just laugh it off that he's a bit naughty when you approach the subject. Apparently at nursery he has his own naughty step and they are constantly getting pulled up about his behaviour. I thought perhaps he might have ADHD but from what I can gather he goes to bed at a reasonable time. Does anyone know what might be wrong. It's become quite awkward as I can't go on putting my kids through torture and part of me feels like telling her my concerns for her son, that he is beyond naughty but don't really feel it's my place. Any advice would be appreciated

Yes obviously the parents are turning a blind eye, in some kind of denial.... But why is the kid behaving like this?? I don't think this is normal behaviour

My son has ADHD and loves to sleep. It doesn't mean 'wired 24/7' for all children who have it.

That said given what you've said about his parents I'm not sure you need to be looking for anything more sinister. He's 4 and children are still very impressionable and in need to strict instruction about right and wrong at that age. He's not getting that and is acting up, I wouldn't consider that proof of SN at such a young age.

I've known a few kids with similar parents who were wild at that age but had settled down a few years later, no SN in play, it just took them longer to learn the rules as they weren't being enforced by parents.

Like zzzzz says, watch him closely and step in if he goes for your child. Make it clear to him and his parents it won't be tolerated towards your child.

He's not your son, telling the parents you think he has SN is not your place... If there are genuine concerns his playschool will raise them, or school when he gets there.

What zzz says. Though disagree with summer (only a bit) re raising the Q of SN with parents. It was a massive relief when someone finally suggested I wasn't imagining things (a random stranger! Albeit we were having a long chat)

It was ds1s teacher who raised it with me and yes it was a relief. But I had already noticed his quirks, by the sounds of it this boys parents are not in that headspace, they're most likely going to respond negatively and sleepy will get the brunt of that, and if she's wrong she'll lose her friends permanently.

Good point

Why do you think it is ADHD? Because he is constantly and randomly aggressive and violent? As far as I know that isn't actually a diagnostic criteria. His parents don't seem to set any boundaries or correct his behaviour from what you have written. It sounds as though that is the problem not a neurological disability.

Fwiw my ADHD son is not randomly aggressive and at 4yrs old slept 14 hours a night!

I would be careful approaching the parents. They clearly think nothing is wrong and I should imagine it won't go well. Distance yourself and your child if it is such an issue instead. (And it does sound tiresome)

If he is being violent to your son I would step in very quickly and say please can you not do xyz or stop doing xyz. Then the parents will hopefully soon pick up that you are not happy with your child being slapped about. If it does not stop or the parents don't stop it then personally I make a excuse and walk away but that's just me. I have a few friends who seem oblivious to their child's behaviour. Lots of different things I wouldn't tolerate - like climbing over furniture and glass partitions in costa - then my kids get told to sit down and behave by me when they so much as look at my friends kids doing this. When my mummy chum doesn't get the hint I make a excuse and go home and then never agree to meet in costa again! But the same friend tells my kids off for getting out more than one toy at a time to play with. People have weird priorities of what's acceptable behaviour