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SN children

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Original poster

What do you do when people stare constantly

17 replies

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 29/09/2013 14:08

At zoo today DD is in her Major buggy as she gets overloaded walking and looking.

It's busy and everyone is staring or falling silent as we pass and then whispering. Kids of all ages are pointing and giggling.

Her disability isnt even that invisible. .she is non verbal and waving and trying to shout hello to people.

Its really depressing

How do you handle it..apart from not going out?

OP posts:

Original poster

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 29/09/2013 14:09

It has totally spoilt our day and upset DH

OP posts:

PolterGoose · 29/09/2013 14:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

starfishmummy · 29/09/2013 15:14

I just stare back very pointedly

Original poster

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 29/09/2013 15:20

DD enjoyed it a bit but it was a bit too busy for her. She would have loved it if one person had smiled.

OP posts:

2old2beamum · 29/09/2013 15:29

Sorry society makes you feel sad.
With mine I just smile sweetly and think fuck off but for the grace of genetics goes you!!
Always helps me to think of good times. Last week a lady approached us and said how beautiful our DD was, Downs and mixed race, yes she is but it was lovely. xx

zzzzz · 29/09/2013 15:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 29/09/2013 15:33

Thanks :) I thought my skin was getting thicker. .there were just SO many stares and points though.

OP posts:

Trigglesx · 29/09/2013 18:50

We get this too. DS1 is very vocal and wants to say hello to everyone (and everything ). It does mean odd looks, although he's in a wheelchair, not a Maclaren anymore. I can cope with odd looks (for the most part, but the nasty people making comments about him being too big for a pushchair used to make me go nuclear.

sickofsocalledexperts · 29/09/2013 19:02

I do my specially-patented direct look back into their eyes, half smile, eyebrow raised, with a sort of "yes, can I help you?" vibe.. Most, except those who are irredeemably lacking in any smidgeon of civilisation (and for them anyway all is lost) look away at once, embarrassed. I also find it happens less when my rather large DH is with me.

It happened in a fruit shop yesterday and I looked back straight into the man's eyes. He did look pretty embarrassed to be caught out.

Bunch of wankers.

hazeyjane · 29/09/2013 19:27

We haven't had many stares yet, as ds is only 3.2 and looks younger because of a baby face and being extremely short. We got a few looks today though due to him crawling around a large shop, and then grabbing an armful of Christmas baubles and throwing them crashing to the floor. The staff were lovely, but there were a lot of shaking heads and cats bum mouths.

Strongecoffeeismydrug · 29/09/2013 20:26

Ds gets lots of stares as he's so noisy and hyper, he's not in a wheelchair tho as he's a good walker (just needs holding onto as he's very impulsive).
Over the years I've perfected the killer stare and aim it at anyone who gives negative comments or is rude about ds. It's such a scowl I'd probably scare myself if I did it in a mirror .
But people do spoil what should be good family days out for us because there is just no need for rudeness.
Even before ds came along (and there is no other disability in my family) I wouldn't have dreamed of starring at others

Original poster

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 29/09/2013 20:28

Thanks for all the tips.

I used to manage to not look at people so I didnt see the stares but today was a tidal wave of stares and none of them were friendly so it got to me a bit :(

OP posts:

Trigglesx · 29/09/2013 20:32

Fanjo it IS frustrating. Sometimes I just want to scream "Fuck you! What are you all looking at?!?!?!!" But if I'm honest, that just gets EVERYONE looking at me and not in a great way.

Other times I just want to crawl away, which is silly, as I'm not doing anything wrong. It just makes me feel like a bug or something.

I make an effort to either ignore it or laugh it off. I'll admit, though, that I'm not above the occasional passive-aggressive comment or two.

StarlightMcKenzie · 29/09/2013 21:47

Personally, I moon!

Original poster

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 29/09/2013 22:11

I was so close to mooning or just sticking two fingers up at people today

OP posts:

StarlightMcKenzie · 29/09/2013 22:32

I went to a breastfeeding clinic on Friday because my baby has upperlip tie which means he plants his newly developed teeth at the base of my nipple to feed.

The breastfeeding counsellor congratulated me on still feeding at 15 months and wanted to discuss how to deal with people staring, commenting or treating me unfairly in case I was ever on the receiving end.

I stared at her in disbelief. She had NO idea...............BFing a 15 month old in public was a breeze comparatively.

mymatemax · 29/09/2013 22:48

Say loudly "Ignore the rude starey people it's because you are so beautiful"
I know it al goes over ds2's head but we notice.

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