Is there anything more that I can be doing about this?

[sponkle]

DS2 age 6 got a diagnosis of autism in August. He attends the local very highly acclaimed primary school (MS) academy.

He has huge sensory issues and really struggles with loud, bright, busy situations so things like PE, music, lunchtimes are extremely difficult for him.

I have to bring him home everyday for his lunch (school suggested this), so he can have something to eat and a calm and quiet environment. This also allows him to go to the loo at home (with my help as he can't wipe himself yet) which avoids the soiling incidents that were happening last year when he stayed at school for lunch for two terms.

Last term he had 1:1 support with literacy but this year so far has none. Literacy is a huge anxiety for him as due to his autism his imaginative and communication skills make writing a story difficult.

I have emailed the SENCO this week to ask if he can have some more support in school, primarily 1:1 for literacy and support at lunchtime so he can stay at school for the whole day.

The SENCO asked me in for a chat when she told me off the record that I should be looking at private special schools for my son as his needs are not severe enough to warrant a statement which is what he would need to attend a state funded special school.

They are organising a meeting in a month where the lead SENCO for the area, school SENCO, head teacher and class teachers will attend with me and my husband along with an Autism Outreach teacher who will assess and advise.

I do not understand how the school can tell me that his needs are big enough for me to be considering private special school, but not big enough for them to be able to put more support for him in place now. Apparently he is 'fine' at school...quiet and well behaved and good at maths and english. What they don't see is the meltdowns I deal with every single day and the little boy who has to eat in silence, who's mum isn't allowed to talk to him or ask him anything (sensory shutdown everyday after school) who screams and kicks and punches and who can't sleep without mum or dad stroking is back for an hour. We don't get this in the holidays or weekends as he is happy and relaxed in his home environment and it is easier for us to accommodate his needs at home than in school in a class of 30 children.

So, I have contacted IPSEA and sent the school another email on their recommendation asking how exactly they intend to spend the designated schools grant money on supporting my son and how he has a right to a mainstream education including the full curriculum (at the moment he is given a choice whether to do PE, music etc or do maths so obviously he chooses maths)

I have also spoken to the Parent Partnership Services who are going to attend the meeting at the end of October with me.

I am just so stressed. Is there anything more I can be doing to help the situation, or should I be busying myself with growing a thicker skin as this is just the start of a very long journey of battle after battle? I am all too well aware of how schools can fail anyone who dares to be a round peg in a square hole.

Sorry this is so long.

I would apply for a statement, I think school are trying to fob you off, telling you to find a private special school to me says the ms school can't or won't meet ds's needs

We were sent on a course run by OT for sensory processing disorder and given some books as advised by the paediatrician who diagnosed DS but other than that no other involvemnet by OT.

Would we be able to get a statement if the school are telling me his needs are not severe enough? as I understand, the school would need to give evidence to back the application up?

If we did get a statement would that force the school to deal with his needs or would it automatically mean special school? as I feel that with the right support mainstream is the best way forward for him.

So confused. But very grateful for your replies.

Thank you PolterGoose. DS is on an IEP School Action Plus, so hopefully once this big meeting has happened and the Autism Outreach teacher has advised, he will get some 1:1 and adjustments, failing that, I have more confidence in applying for a statutory assessment now, especially as you have outlined how it may act as a rocket up the school's arse!

How are you feeling about secondary school for your DS? Are the school helping you with regards to transition etc? I have a 17yr old DS1 who has ADHD/ASD so have been through the mill with him already, despite him only getting diagnosed aged 15. He is at college now doing IT and flourishing, which is wonderful to see.

It is great that he really wants to go and also that transition arrangements are very good. I'm sure your DS will do really well, especially as he is so academic, and I'm sure you will be able to get allowances for PE etc if necessary. I can very much relate to the wanting to punch people who brush past etc...that is exactly why I do all my shopping online!

I think he is lucky to have you for his mum, from the posts I have read you know your stuff and are extremely understanding and supportive.

The SENCO asked me in for a chat when she told me off the record that I should be looking at private special schools for my son as his needs are not severe enough to warrant a statement which is what he would need to attend a state funded special school.

Oh I'll bet she said 'off the record' because she was blatently lying to you. Sge was also breaking the law.

She should actually be reported for those lies.

If a child has special needs that are so severe they can only be met in special school then the Local Authority MUST pay for your child to attend a special school. The LA are therefore required fo fund either a State special school or an Independant special school. There is absolutely no requirement for you to fund a special school.

If a child's needs ahave been determined by school to be so severe that they need to go to special school then the child's school should definitely be applying for a Statement. Partly because a statement will require a full assessmnet of the child's difficulties and these may be even more sever than the current school is just 'gussing' at. Also, it would be very difficult to get into a special school without a Statement.

So, you need to ignore the lies that his current school are telling you.

It's not up to school to decide whether he needs a Statement or not - that's a decision that can only be made once a lot of people have assessed your son's needs.

You need to apply directly to the LA yourself requiting a statutory assessmnet that may lead to a Statement. If I were you I would do this immediately and not wait for this forthcoming meeting. Having already told you a load of rubbish about SEN support you'll probably find the meeting is designed to feed you even more rubbish.

As professionals outside the school are invloved your son should have an IEP at Schools Action Plus.

IPSEA has a template for applying for a statutory assessment on it's website. Loads of us (including me) have made our own Statement applications - schools and LAs don't like Statements because they cost them money - not because your child may not require one

Applying yourself will get the ball rolling (it can take 6 months) and will also tell them quite clearly that you mean business. Taking away all his support is ridiculous. With a Statement it would be illegal.

Best wishes

Oh... and IPSEA are right. If you want him educated in mainstream the LA should try everything it can to enable that - including providing him 1:1 support from a TA throughout the school day if that would enable him to stay in mainstream.

Of course, to get that level of support he would need a Statement. And that's why school are trying to ditch him now, because support costs school a lot of money

Once you have secured your Statement I would seriously consider moving schools. This school sounds vile.

SENCO told you a load of old bs I am sorry to say. Sounds awfully like what an Academy school SENCO would come out with as well.

I would also suggest you not delay any longer in applying for the statement and make the application yourself asap. I would also start looking at other schools now as well.

This academy school he currently attends sounds awful frankly; even with a statement in place it seems that they are both unwilling and unable to help him.

I think you are right. The school is closed to any idea of supporting him properly and I am now in a place where I think I am ready to apply for a statutory assessment. I am also going to look at the other schools around here but worry that it is the system as a whole that is at fault, and most other schools will be just as shit at dealing with my son's needs. Hopefully I will be proved wrong on this.

Had a meeting this afternoon with one of the two class teachers DS has, the SENCO and the deputy head. They were totally closed to looking at DS as an individual with individual needs. Every suggestion I offered with regards to how the teacher could help, ie: give DS a brief instruction after giving the whole class instructions, so he has time to process what is actually required of him...using the disabled toilet as it is so much quieter...whatever else I could think of that would cost no money and be easy to implement was met with negativity and reluctance.

They will not be offering him any 1:1 as they do not want him to become dependent on it. They do not want him to use the disabled toilet as he needs to learn to use the same ones everyone else uses.

The deputy head worried more than anything. he opened the meeting with supposed reassurance for me by telling me that my son will be successful and have a job one day! FFS! I feel so much better now he has told me that! He also joyfully told me that a few years ago an autistic lady came to talk to the school about autism. He told me that she was able to give the talk because her parents had forced her to be social. My retort was that I am not about forcing anyone to do anything but I believe nurture and support in areas people really struggle with are far more successful approaches. He was not impressed at all. The whole meeting was about how we can get my DS to be the same as the other children, and not make him stand out, rather than support him.

The upshot is that I am now booked in to see the Ed Psych who can assist me with dealing with the meltdowns at home, as DS is happy and absolutely fine in school. Really.

Head. Wall.

The only thing keeping me sane is that you all understand and have been through/are going through the same or much worse. HONK HONK!