ASD school and bullying

[Peppapigisnotmyname]

Any suggestions on this one? I'm losing the will to live :(

My DS is 8 and has ASD. He is in MS and has 20 hours support a week. In infants, he was doing well, had friends etc. He went to juniors, was split from all of his friends and things have slowly got worse - we used to have to limit friends to invite to his birthday party, I wrote his list tonight, grand total of four names. We need at least six children. Now another child has started teasing him. I told school, they implied he was making it up etc at the end of the last academic year, they split him from the last of his friends, don't know why. Went into school, they couldn't explain it but refused to change it. Over the summer hols DS was quite anxious about school. Saw a couple of these boys in the park, they were vicious to DS. , He returned, the teasing has got worse. Yesterday, during playtime, it got so bad that he repeatedly punched another child in the head - this is hugely out of character, DS is very gentle and sensitive. He's not at all violent, just tearful due to extreme anxiety. School told me of the 'serious incident' DS was in bits.

Phoned school. Bloody fuming. Have an appointment to see SENCO next week. They won't do anything though, they just won't listen. I'm so tempted to take him out completely!! Or am i just over reacting? So sick of it all.

I told school, they implied he was making it

This is something that we parents of children with ASD hear time after time.

According to school bullying is either just 'perceived' - not actual bullying or the victim brought it upon himself

Ignore school - believe your child.

He is going to get more and more stressed as he is expected to attend a school where, put quite simply, he is being abused.

Write to the school describing the incident and asking school what action they intend to take.

Name names.

Ask them to reconsider their deciison to split him from his friends. Threaten to seek an increase in his support if they cannot give you good reasons as to why he cannot be reunited with his friends - that should scare the, You may even want to seek additional support anyway as things have deteriorated.

Remind school that they have a duty of care and that includes safeguarding - which means stamping out bullying.

Get tough!

This makes me mad My DS was also split up from his only two friends when he went up to juniors in Sept. It's school policy, but why oh why do they extend it to the ASD kids, as if they don't have enough problems. Now he has not a single friend in his class.

It's the exact oppopsite of whta they would do in an austistic base. In a base they tend to operate a 'buddy' system whre children are paired up on the baiss that iof one has difficulties that he may be unwilling / unable to report, his buddy can do so to assist him. I see it as a safeguarding procedure.

You may want to mention this to school.

Ask for a copy of their anti-bulling policy.
Check they are following it.
Document each and every incident in writing to the CT,SENCO and HT.
Basically demand that they take it seriously. If you put each incident in writing you are creating a trail for them to see that they cannot dispute.

Start now with as much as you can remember - dates ( or months) names and what happened and who you told and what action if any was taken.
It sounds like you have enough for a list here already. Send this to the head and demand a meeting to discuss how they are going to stop this behaviour.

Ask to see their records to see if the incidents correspond and if there are any others recorded ( its unlikely but it will highlight if their recording systems are not joined up enough to be able to highlight and recognise bullying)

My DS was split from friends in primary and it took years later for me to be informed that this was due to parents asking (demanding) that they wanted different friends for their children, the school couldn't disclose this and it lead to the children being horrible to DS and him and me not knowing why. I only found out by one of these parents apologising to me for what had happened and then asking would DS1 want to go the cinema with her DS who was now isolated and bullied at his secondary, they are good friends now.

I agree so far with everything said.

Take photographs of injuries especially if the school said it was an accident.

Our school coerced DS1 to say it was an accident so that everything could be forgotten. They should be looking after all the children and if not - that is neglect. How can a serious incident happen if they are all properly looked after?

Make them work for their money that's how I get tough. Lots of nice emails and if the write back instead of emailing I put it in a word document and then email it!