Does your child reliase they are "different"

[hoxtonbabe]

My DS has always had his "ways" and this is what i am used to

As he is getting older he is doing certain things that most people would see as odd, but he doesn't see it that way so when people (usually EP, SLT, GP) ask if he has difficulties with xxx he says no, not because it is not there but because he just doesn't notice it as an issue and I then have to start dragging out reports, etc.. where teachers, etc have commented (frequently) so they dont think I am making up issues that are not there.

I'm curious if its just me or if other parents go through a similar thing

It has been a recent thing for us. Dd3 used to be completely oblivious to her difficulties and used to get very upset if we spoke about them in front of her.

Last summer when she was nearly 10 I explained to her about her diagnosis and she was clearly relieved to know it is ok to be different. We had some "interesting"behaviour for a while but now she has settled down and embraced her differences and her diagnosis.

She is different at school because she struggles to relax and be herself but we are working on that!

I dont know if this will change when she goes to secondary school or puberty strikes but for now things are going well.

Lol, yes polter Dd3 says that too

My Ds 4.9 asked me when he was 3 why he was different & asks a lot more now since starting school , I just tell him its good to be different as if everybody was the same it would be very boring

Ds has been aware of his differences and like Polter's Ds tends to think it is everyone else who is just ridiculous. He was diagnosed at 10 and immediately aware of it but has yet to feel comfortable with it - he considers himself just himself I think.
He was always totally unaware and unbothered by others' perceptions until about a year ago. He will be 17 in a couple of days and does now do or not do things because of what others will think.
I find it a bit of a mixed blessing to be honest.

ds1 knows he's different but I haven't told him his dx (he's very obsessive and I think it would go badly right now so I'm biding my time).

He's very aware of things he can't do as well as others, a perfectionist. However things he's better at than others he just can't grasp why they can't do what he can. We have to have lots of chats about everyone having different strengths and weaknesses and it not being nice to comment on others' weaknesses

hmmm, my DS just doesn't even acknowledge there is anything different, he really is totally oblivious, which can be a good and bad thing

Not yet - she's seven. She knows about her physical disabilities, that's all.

It would be more obvious if she were at school, spending time in a large group of children of her own age and doing academic tasks alongside them. Either she'd be given the same tasks as everyone else (and be unable to do them) or she'd be given differentiated work or extra help (in which case she would know she was different).

Only recently have other kids noticed that she is different. I think that despite her above-average height they used to assume she was younger than she is, because at first glance she just seems quite immature. But they are as nice to her as ever.

Adults have always been more clued-up. They see at once that dd can't walk normally and they immediately wonder whether she has other differences.

As a child (I was diagnosed with Aspergers as an adult) I was aware I was different but I would not have described myself as odd or weird- just different. No one knew about Aspergers then so there was no support in place for me and socially my life consisted primarily of being bullied although I did have a few friends. School psychologist diagnosed mt normal in the 70s so my mum & dad tried to force me to be what they considered normal so my relationship with my parents consisted of me feeling they hated me & whatever I did was guaranteed to be wrong. I didn't make the connection between me being different and any of the other difficulties until I was an adult & diagnosed with Aspergers & knew nothing of the school psychologist's diagnosis except I had had an ink blot test given me by the school psychologist until then either. Just because the child doesn't make the connection doesn't mean there's no problem- just that his perception of the situation is different

Primary school children can be a lot more accepting of difference than Secondary School. Only bullying instances my kids have had to deal with have been at secondary & my oldest had problems making friends because he isn't like other boys (my twins tend to be oblivious to the latter because they have no interest in making new friends). Thankfully the actual bullying the school were quick to address when it came to light.

Ds is very aware of how he might/might not be different and it is the cause of much of his anxiety and low self esteem (although he doesn't know that its the cause of his anxiety or why he feels different)

He is constantly comparing himself to others.